Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 20, 2011 / Posted by:

The bow blouse that graces Kim Richards’ body on every episode of The Real Dynasty Rejects of Beverly Hills!

Episode after episode of RHOBH always features this shimmering sun-damaged spaz of a human Vicodin covered in the leftover pieces of fabric that was used to reupholster the love seat of an elderly Asian lady’s sitting room. I just want to sit like a lady on Kim’s torso and sip jasmine tea while playing Mahjong. What I’m trying to say is that the blouse is exquisite. The sparkly print is what the herpes sores on a unicorn’s vagina look like.

Kim really wears this straitjacket blouse during every single one of her “confessionals” on every episode. I don’t know if they just shot all her confessionals for the season at one time (they did) or if she only has one gorgeous blouse to wear since all of her clothes are in boxes, because she’s always moving! Or maybe Kim always wears this bow blouse, because it cuts off the circulation to her brain and takes her mind on a hallucination journey way up to Witch Mountain where she’s always young, beautiful and Mickey Mouse’s favorite.

Kim’s bow blouse is not as stunningly elegant as her pearl choker, but it comes close. If Kim keeps calling in WASTED to every event, the producers should just let this gorgeous bow blouse be her stand-in. It’s her second skin. It’s as special to her as her pointing finger is.

And I just have to talk about Kyle’s White Party for a second. First of all, the real reason Russell Armstrong killed himself is probably because Kyle refused to let him into her stupid party after she couldn’t get a hold of Taylor by phone (???). Second of all, I know Kyle spends most of our yearly salaries on putting together an illustrious event catered by Fatburger, but it always feels like a Section 8 version of Diddy’s White Party to me. It’s like, what is the point? They all show up in their finest Windsor Fashion gowns to eat cheeseburgers in Kyle’s backyard. How dreadful. I wish Kim would’ve stumbled in wearing her signature BOW BLOUSE! One look at that bow blouse would’ve shocked all those bitches in white into getting their periods on the spot. Seriously, what that White Party needs is more period blood.

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