It’s A Very Courtney Stodden Christmas! And Yes, We’re All Going To Jail Now

Warning: You might feel the sudden urge to strangle your Christmas tree, shit in your fireplace stockings and cancel Christmas this year after getting into these highly illegal pictures at Egotastic of the underage lizard goddess Courtney Stodden slithering all over her 51-year-old nightmare of a husband who dressed up as Santa Claus. I know, that picture was supposed to be your Christmas card pose and this bitch stole it from you.

Nothing says “Tis the season!” like a gross Santa with cotton dick brows sniffing on the illegal down low goods of a 17-year-old who looks like an iguana in Alexis Arquette drag. This kind of good Christian girl holiday behavior from Courtney is seriously making Jesus consider converting to Buddhism. It’s okay, Jesus, just try to focus on the silver slivers of elegance on Courtney’s rear claws and everything will be okay (no, it won’t).

I swear, somebody really has to start a “Courtney & Doug staged photo shoot or porn stills?” Tumblr, because I can’t even tell the difference anymore. And if your skin hasn’t completely crawled off of your body to throw itself into the nearest fire, then strap it down, because it will after you click play on this video:

Why isn’t a SWAT Team and a group of priests with vats of holy water swarming all over them?! They are disgusting, ridiculous, fucked up, perverted, shameless, dark-sided…and I can’t get enough of them.