Open Post: Hosted By Shit Black Girls Say
First came Shit Girls Say, then came Shit Gay Guys Say and now whether you like it or not here's Shit Black Girls Say as performed by Rick James Bitch Billy Sorrells as Peaches. This shit is eerily like a weekend with my cousins. This would be exactly like a page out of Shit Michael K's Cousins Say if it smelled like Strawberry Suave Shampoo and Peaches also blurted out the following lines:
"What do you mean you don't have Mountain Dew?""Put more volume! I can't hear!"
"And?"
"Pick me up some Pampers."
"How many minutes you got left on your phone?"
"Go smoke that shit over there, I've got AquaNet in my hair.""Pinche! The blow dryer just blew out a circuit again!"
"Pause the movie, I gotta go cash my check at Walmart."
"The guy at Walmart said I look like Salma Hayek."
"Dame la Vaseline."
Oh, and this list would not be complete without my cousins' response for everything: "Ewww, you swear, bitch!"
via Best Week Ever
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And I think guys should have pit hair, too. I find it a little strange when they don't.
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 6:19pm.
UBF: yeah, I can't watch myself on regular videos of birthday parties or whatever, let alone sessy ones!!
I hear ya. I can't even watch myself on Skype without getting distracted at the dumb ass faces I make while I talk.
The Viv Thomas channel on Pornhub is a good one.
There is something very sensual about a man's silky pit hair, especially if it has that natural musky male scent to it.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
OMG! I do the "delete" thing! I didn't even know that was a thing other people do. I'm a stereotype and I didn't even know it. ::hangs head in shame::
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"I bet his crotch looks like an uncooked dough cigar lying on a bed of saffron" MK
Hi everyone. *waves @ thread*
This eggnog is giving me a horrid stomach ache.
Mike...she looks awful!
& dog yeah where is Cuppy?!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
hahahaha Hekki- go get it! :)
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Who are you?
Who who who who?
Oh, who the fuck are you?
Who who who who?
Submitted by mike on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 6:03pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:42pm.
Does anyone here think a man should remove his armpit hair??? I cam understand backs and chests. But pits? I think men should have hair there.
I think it might be normal for some black guys. I say this because I've had some black girls find it odd/borderline gross that I didn't shave under my arms.
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I don't do it either. I was talking about it to one of my coworkers, a 19 year old girl. She was okay with her ex bf using all her waxing products.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
UBF: yeah, I can't watch myself on regular videos of birthday parties or whatever, let alone sessy ones!! But I find regular porn a snooze, because I know the women are faking it 99.9% of the time. In most of the professional porn I've seen (and I've seen a lot), the women arent even aroused, nevermind real orgasms. I can't get past that. But in plenty (not all!) amateur stuff the people -- including the women! -- are really into it and I find it more exciting to watch peoe really getting off.
To me, it's like the difference between eating a perfect looking symmetrical peach that's really dry and tasteless insde and eating a peach with a few scars and bruises that's really ripe and juicy inside.
And Mr. Hekki should send you horz a fruit basket because he's getting LUUUUCKY tonight.
I am with Hekki....prefer amateur over the actors. The actors look so fucking fake. However, of someone looks like they do not want to be there, I switch it off FAST.
And men should have armpit hair.
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Who are you?
Who who who who?
Oh, who the fuck are you?
Who who who who?
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:42pm.
Does anyone here think a man should remove his armpit hair??? I cam understand backs and chests. But pits? I think men should have hair there.
I think it might be normal for some black guys. I say this because I've had some black girls find it odd/borderline gross that I didn't shave under my arms.
Hekki, i can`t with amateur porn. I m always like: God, i hope i don`t look like that. Can`t even watch the hubbie and myself doing it on video. (that shit is for his entertainment only)
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Sorry, y'all. It is easy to get lost in the rabbit hole that is tumblr porn blogs. I should have warned you all.
Wow, there are so many bad boob jobs out there!
And I totally prefer amateur stuff over professional. I can't with the regular porn. When real people are doing real stuff that gets them off, it's a hundred times hotter. Even if they are fatter or uglier.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 4:59pm.
I spent waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time browsing that site...thanks for that. Bolt on boobs are so awful. What's with the asian woman writing with her ass?
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
MK's Strawberry Suave shampoo thing is funny. I never thought it smelled that good.
Submitted by dreadloccowgirl on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:40pm
PHEWW...ok I didn't want to be the only one..lol I think I'll go jump on my husband now,thanks Mike! :)
And by the way, no I don't think it makes you gay to like looking at females cowgirl :)
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Because nothing says "my coochie smells like sex" like a men's white butt-down shirt over a bustier. -MK
I have grown more tolerant of bodyhair on men over the years. 15 years ago i would have went for the waxed guy with no bodyhair. Now i really don`t mind. The whole package just has to work together. And a man needs hair in his armpits. Just don`t have deodorant dingle berries trapped in it..
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
UBF:
You might like my vagina, then. XD
I found gas the other day for $2.85. Hee.
Speaking of body hair, we passed a new body-waxing joint and they had a promotional photo, about 5 feet wide, of a handsome young mam with no body hair. His hand was behind his head and he had no armpit hair.
I found it very unattractive. And even grotesque.
Does anyone here think a man should remove his armpit hair??? I cam understand backs and chests. But pits? I think men should have hair there.
Maybe it's the new generation or something.
OMG! I am still on it, too! I do enjoy tan lines. Is that a fetish? Does that make me gay?
Submitted by Psych Evals for... on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:32pm.
Is it wrong that I've been going through that boobie website for like the last 15 minutes?
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Guns kill people like spoons make you fat............
Is it wrong that I've been going through that boobie website for like the last 15 minutes?
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Because nothing says "my coochie smells like sex" like a men's white butt-down shirt over a bustier. -MK
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:21pm.
Thanks for the description.
*constipated face*
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:18pm.
lol, that's what I thought. It made me think of a Simpsons character.
Some vaginas look nice and tucked in like a neatly wrapped present. Hers looks like a 5 year old tried to get a quick peak on Christmas eve and ripped half that fucker open.
Team Racing stripe.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Mike, I don't know. It asked me if I wanted to dial that number. In any case, those "breasts" look like two eyes bugging out of someone's head!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:12pm.
MIKE POSTS PRON ON D-LISTED! MIKE POSTS PRON ON D-LISTED!!
Her abused looking vagina is a good argument FOR pubic hair on certain people.
Oh, I agree, but I wasn't going to mention that. I think the completely hairless look really only works for some (not most).
Submitted by dreadloccowgirl on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:13pm.
"I" don't talk like that. I got a degree from Rutgers!
RU '11, bitch!
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Sweeettt! Rutgers rocks.
Out for pizza with buds; later all. *leaves Longhorn's chocolate turtles in thread*
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"...The only real gift that we have is our own independent intelligence..." Christopher Hitchens, 1949-2011
Amy Winehouse, 1983-2011 - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ludxpkyrab0
@ mike's link
Why the hell everyone's so happy on that blog?
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
"I" don't talk like that. I got a degree from Rutgers!
RU '11, bitch!
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Guns kill people like spoons make you fat............
MIKE POSTS PRON ON D-LISTED! MIKE POSTS PRON ON D-LISTED!!
Her abused looking vagina is a good argument FOR pubic hair on certain people.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:08pm.
lol, sorry (for laughing), but that's absurd
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:08pm.
She keeps the bathroom door permanently closed and yells at him "Stay out of the bathroom!!!" if he manages to get the door open. He's not allowed in the bathroom unless it's bath time.
It's gonna be pretty hard to teach a kid to go on the toilet if he's not allowed in the bathroom, innit?
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Yes. Have one daughter and when one is potty training, one can't behave that way with the chirrun-in-training. I just can't with these parents nowadays. Can't.
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"...The only real gift that we have is our own independent intelligence..." Christopher Hitchens, 1949-2011
Amy Winehouse, 1983-2011 - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ludxpkyrab0
I have an intense craving for Cheetos right now.
Also, there probably aren't any people with kids here, so I'm probably wasting my time, but I have to vent about SIL. She's got a 2 year old who has to be potty trained in 8 months to be admitted to pre-school.
HOWEVER. She keeps the bathroom door permanently closed and yells at him "Stay out of the bathroom!!!" if he manages to get the door open. He's not allowed in the bathroom unless it's bath time.
It's gonna be pretty hard to teach a kid to go on the toilet if he's not allowed in the bathroom, innit?
I just bite my tongue. Unless she asks me, it's none of my business, so I have to tell YOU guys.
@ Mikey,
Who would've thought you'd ever post a NSFW link. First you check out eyebrow situations and now this?
You really have grown into your Dlisted persona, haven't you? LOL.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"
Submitted by Hekki on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:04pm.
It's one of those things being forwarded around.
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:03pm.
Just part of the URL. No idea why your point would do that; mine doesn't.
Mike: How did you FIND that photo? Gah! She's so proud of herself, too. *laughs at bolt-on lady*
Mike, if that's your number, I'd delete it now!
My iPhone just tried to call it when I moused over it...
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
OP? Cool.
I might have heard some of this stuff on the subway, but I don't think of it as stuff *black* women say.
I've heard my Latino friend say "Put more volume". She'd also say you've dropped something on the "floor" even if it's something you dropped on grass or the sidewalk. And when she'd pretend to smoke one of my cigarettes, she'd say "it turned off" instead of "it went out" from lack of actual puffing on it.
@Mike,
Okay, she looks like she had someone sew a hooker corpse chest onto her upper and lower body. The fking damn body coloring is even off. *shudders
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"...The only real gift that we have is our own independent intelligence..." Christopher Hitchens, 1949-2011
Amy Winehouse, 1983-2011 - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ludxpkyrab0
{{CAPPY}}
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I don't usually post this sort of stuff on here, but someone sent me quite possibly the worst pair of bolt-on style implants I've ever seen. And since I learned the term "bolt-on" on here, it's only fair that I share with you all.
NSFW (unless you work in a strip club, of course)
http://focus071.tumblr.com/post/14104139488
hahahahaa @ this guy
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Looks like you guys are gonna have to settle for the bizarro cupcake...
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 4:47pm.
Where's Eeeeevil Cupcake?
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Second this inquiry. Also, EvilShoe, WHERE YOU AT, BIOTCH? SHOW US SOME LOVE PWEESE.
*resumes txt debating with new dude*
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"...The only real gift that we have is our own independent intelligence..." Christopher Hitchens, 1949-2011
Amy Winehouse, 1983-2011 - Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ludxpkyrab0
Where's Eeeeevil Cupcake?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org