Open Post: Hosted By Shit Black Girls Say
First came Shit Girls Say, then came Shit Gay Guys Say and now whether you like it or not here's Shit Black Girls Say as performed by Rick James Bitch Billy Sorrells as Peaches. This shit is eerily like a weekend with my cousins. This would be exactly like a page out of Shit Michael K's Cousins Say if it smelled like Strawberry Suave Shampoo and Peaches also blurted out the following lines:
"What do you mean you don't have Mountain Dew?""Put more volume! I can't hear!"
"And?"
"Pick me up some Pampers."
"How many minutes you got left on your phone?"
"Go smoke that shit over there, I've got AquaNet in my hair.""Pinche! The blow dryer just blew out a circuit again!"
"Pause the movie, I gotta go cash my check at Walmart."
"The guy at Walmart said I look like Salma Hayek."
"Dame la Vaseline."
Oh, and this list would not be complete without my cousins' response for everything: "Ewww, you swear, bitch!"
via Best Week Ever
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Submitted by TheBreakdown on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 7:47pm.
guest:
It's called VIAGRA. Surely, you've heard of it?
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My ex used to get testosterone shots along with a prescription for Viagra(100mg). He would be a walking hard-on for hours. All he had to do was tell his doctor that because he was 40 and I was 24, there was no way to keep up with my sexual needs(whatever). Although, he and I were doing a lot of drugs so even though he was hard, he had a lot of trouble actually finishing. We also made good money from selling the viagra to young guys.
Thanks for the tip Louise_Brooks! ;)
So viagra & editing. Thxs for the info men of dlisted! Now we know Weezy.
Breaky did it make your heart rate go crazy? What book?
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by dreadloccowgirl on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 5:13pm.
"I" don't talk like that. I got a degree from Rutgers!
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My husband's older brother played football for Rutger's. If so funny to me because if anyone mentions it, his mother always says (under her breath), "back, before they had a good team". She says that about her own son. And I'm usually the one to bring it up, because I find it pretty impressive. His family's from Jersey and now my husband lives in the south where football is religion...but, nope, his mother even finds an issue with the fact that her son got a full ride to play for Rutgers. She's such a lovely woman.
"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl
guest:
I've done Viagra once before and aside from the little blue images I saw as my eyes got fuxored by that shit, I could go on and on and on. But...you cannot come on that shit. So I think in these films you often see them fuck and fuck and fuck...THEN they cut to a cum shot because it is hard to get it OVER with on that shit.
Also, there are liquids and gels they sell that can make men last as well.
Don't ask me how I know this shit, sluts.
Buy the book!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
And I agree with margaret Cho on straight porn....
The reason why you have these gorgeous girls bending it like Beckham for the likes of Ron Jeremy is because the straight men that watch it are scared they're going to get turned on by the man FUCKING her. So often, you see these camera angles where you can only see the man's piece going in her, but not HIM. So the viewer is encouraged to pretend he IS that man on the screen pummeling the woman.
How many straight men would admit that they get turned on by BOTH actors in the porn?
Sometimes, bromance goes to the next level...
Heauxmance!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Breaky...yes I have but no personal experience with it. It really causes a man to just go & go & go?
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
GG- you need nice porn. LOL Go the Viv Thomas channel at Pornhub. It's hot without being nasty, violent or excessively messy.
Submitted by guest on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 7:34pm.
Here's the one thing that mystifies me about porn men...they can go & go for like a really long time. When does that ever happen irl? Srsly. Do they take something?
Assuming you're watching a professional production, you're seeing multiple takes spliced together, just like a mass market movie.
guest:
It's called VIAGRA. Surely, you've heard of it?
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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What REALLY burns me up about porn is that you have an attractive ho who has artfully done her eyes with many shades of eyeshadow and then at the end four guys spew their goo right on her make up!!! WHY!!!! Then she ends up smiling at the camera a streaky mess.
Breaky, very well said, my eloquent friend. :)
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Insane in da membrane
Insane in the brain
Insane in da membrane
Insane in the brain
Guest - that is just creative editing darling!
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 7:14pm.
You bitches are wussies if getting a brazilian hurts you. How did you have kids?
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DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
parissucksliterally:
I don't think you should play Russian roulette with your private parts with any partner, whether they are into men, women or animals. I always practice safe sex, and go through my sexy times as if everyone is a stranger, ie, I never have unprotected sex. I don't understand these people that think that just because they ask someone if they have STDs to expect the truth. In this day and age, it is better to be safe than sorry.
And I don't think you should have to broadcast your entire sexual history with every sexual partner beforehand. Sometimes it is just a hook-up, sometimes it is deeper than that. People should be wise enough to differentiate between the two. I have told women beforehand alot of times and many of them do not care. They are hard up for the hard up.
You would never have a man cringe at a woman being bisexual, because society does not condemn for being so. But I have been with allegedly straight men that have wives and children and lead these double lives because they're not really bisexual; they are totally in denial with everything and everyone around them, and latching on to some shred of heterosexuality makes them feel safer.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 7:33pm.
o_O
Submitted by guest on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 7:34pm.
Yeah, I never get that either.
DirtyWhoreMouth:
I lived in Berlin for over 5 years and you would be hard-pressed to find anyone that is completely straight. In fact, I can name on my fingers the acquaintances and friends I know that are. So where I come from, it really IS no big deal.
But then again, having lived in other parts of the world, I have had gay friends that hate women, and don't even want to be around them. I have lesbian friends that loathe men. And then I have my bisexual friends where gender is irrelevant. Alot of people like to think being bi is just a cop-out but then I tell them I cop a feel with whomever I want. I don't care if you call me gay or bi. Whatever gets you through the day...
Just don't EVER call me straight
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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Breaky, I had a bisexual boyfriend a few years back. It didn't bother me at all. Personally, I think HE is gay and ashamed of it (I think he hates women, and overcompensates by fucking a lot of them). As long as anyone is honest with a partner, all is cool. Everyone should be able to make an informed decision.
:)
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Insane in da membrane
Insane in the brain
Insane in da membrane
Insane in the brain
Here's the one thing that mystifies me about porn men...they can go & go for like a really long time. When does that ever happen irl? Srsly. Do they take something?
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 7:27pm.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 7:05pm.
I cant watch porn anymore...when did slapping a woman as you have her suck you off or spitting on a womans face become hot???
GG- what kind of porn are you watching??!?!
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I watch what ever my husband downloads.
I've heard a few guys say they don't like totally bald lady parts, because it doesn't look womanly.
Why do bi-sexuals get shunned by straights and gays. THey love everyone. JELLIS H8RS
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
I always think they're talking smack about the customers too & then they start lol'ing!
There's a comedian named Russell Peters that has a routine about that very thing & he just nods in agmt & then starts smiling @ whomever like he KNOWS what they're saying. LOL.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Event Horizon on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 7:23pm.
I rarely run into anyone who doesn't like the clean shaven ook...
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Better than the alternative. I doubt there is anyone who prefers 70s porn bush.
SPeaking of... can you believe Ron Jeremy was ever skinny enough to see his own dick?
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 7:05pm.
I cant watch porn anymore...when did slapping a woman as you have her suck you off or spitting on a womans face become hot???
GG- what kind of porn are you watching??!?!
Anyone looking for a change-up from the usual porn, go to efukt, there's a lot of....'different' kinds of porn on that site...
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
Don't trust a hoe, Never trust a hoe, I won't trust a hoe. Won't trust me.
*Goes to the Viv Thomas channel on pornhub*
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Event Horizon:
I don't live a down low life, nor have I ever. Do I tell everyone I meet, male OR female that I am bi when I meet them? No. Do I practice safer sex with every partner? Yes. Women with persistent coughs are usually dumb enough to not use protection and listen to their inner voice. And there are just as many gay men turned off by bisexual people as straight people, just FYI.
As far as a bald beaver? That just looks wrong. It seems like I am on some pedophilia path. A little hair goes a LONG way!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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Thanks Darth Stoner! I didnt know there was any other kind or porn...I thought it just got crude and mean toward women...I gotta find like the kind you mentioned!
Do you tell the females youre with that youre bi? I think if I knew a guy i was considering was bi, that would change the whole game.....down low brothas is how sistas end up with a persistent cough...
As far as bushes, most guys have a preference on how they want their women to look so I shave accordingly thought I rarely run into anyone who doesn't like the clean shaven ook...
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
Don't trust a hoe, Never trust a hoe, I won't trust a hoe. Won't trust me.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 7:05pm.
I cant watch porn anymore...when did slapping a woman as you have her suck you off or spitting on a womans face become hot???
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You are watching the WRONG kind of porn.
Come bok to Jamaica, mon. We have huge peens and lots of the green. Smoke up, mon.
Girl, you need to watch the porn where the girl is pulling the man's hair while he sucks on her flower shower.
The less hair down thar the better imo. Just give me a razor & some shaving creme.
Mike ita on Viv! Lol. Poor Violet.
Bye M.E. :)
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
When I was younger, I went to the OBYN for a checkup for the first time and she made a comment about how I shaved it all off once and asked me why the hell I did that. She also thought it was funny I raised up my shirt over my boobs instead of just getting naked. I was shy, bitch! Oh, well. I went back once or twice but started going somewhere less expensive after that anyway. Haha. I thought she was a little jaded and rude. xD
UBF - Dont you want a pristine starfish?
Submitted by guest on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 7:10pm.
Hahahahhahahaa!!
I love getting waxed. It feels so clean. Rip those fuckers out.
Shit, I will trim and tweeze myself when it starts to grow back. I fucking hate when it grows back.
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Insane in da membrane
Insane in the brain
Insane in da membrane
Insane in the brain
It`s not the pain, but i don`t want another lady all up in my pussy. I have watched the Seinfeld Episode too many times, where Elaine swears they talk about her in Korean at the Nailplace and brings George`s Dad along to translate. No to talking about my ladybits in a different language. I have no translator.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
I'm not really hairy, I'm english. we're not hairy people as a rule. blonde too..
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Don't stand on my tits, bitch!
UBF- I don't get that one either. I saw one a while ago that was a threesome and the guy was slapping the one girl on the ass with his dick. If anyone slaps any part of me with their dick, I'm either going to hit them or start cracking up.
AHS is the only show I watch and I really have NO idea what they are going to do with the finale or next season. But the scenario of Ben offing himself and spending eternity in that house seems to make the most sense.
As long as they have Jessica Lange there to fuck with the new family, I am game!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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This week is the season finale!!
Hayden works my nerve more than any other.
& why the hell haven't they shown the babies??
Mike...that's exactly what my son said they were gonna do.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by M.E. on Sun, 12/18/2011 - 7:12pm.
SANS FARDS - I did the brazillian thing ONCE. SO PAINFUL! Never again. Plus the embarassment of some bitch up in my junk spreading it all apart.
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I try and go once a month - Does that make me shameless? :)
You bitches are wussies if getting a brazilian hurts you. How did you have kids?
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Ok, dinner is ready.
See you sluts tomorrow! Have a good one!
UBF - yep. Only one episode left. For this season.
What's shakin' slunts?
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
parissucksliterally:
ROFL. I thought of that just as I hit "post comment." HAHA. That was a silly comment. But I wanna talk about my pubes next. Waa!
SANS FARDS - I did the brazillian thing ONCE. SO PAINFUL! Never again. Plus the embarassment of some bitch up in my junk spreading it all apart.
NOPE! BYE GOOD!
Is it true that there is only one episode of AHS left for this season?
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Uncle Brain-Fart - Thats how vigilant I am about personal cleanliness - No matter how painful. Here's something to make you laugh...if they miss a few hairs down there - they TWEEZE them off! ARGH!