ScarJo Doesn’t Want You To Call Her ScarJo

Did you know that ScarJo’s actual government name is not ScarJo, but it’s actually something like Scarlett Johansson? Weird, right? You think you know someone. Well, ScarJo tells USA Today that she wants the nickname to die a painful death and thinks it was born from the lazy orifice of laziness. This coming from a trick who has permanent lazy face and is acting in her sleep most of the time. Okay, then….

“Oh, it’s awful. It’s a laziness. People can’t actually say the whole name? It’s just bizarre. How come Daniel Day-Lewis isn’t subjected to like, ‘DaDay’? So Cate Blanchett is not, like, ‘CaBla’? Why is that? Why do I have to get stuck with a mangled moniker?”

The fuckery of comparing herself to DaDay and CaBla aside, ScarJo should be grateful that bitches are typing or saying her name in any form. But if ScarJo doesn’t want to be called ScarJo, maybe we shouldn’t call that bitch ScarJo. (In my best Teresa Giudice gorilla howl) Is ScarHO better? Is that better?