“It’s CAAAAAAAAKE, Y’all!”

December 17, 2011 / Posted by:

Sam MerLESS (it’s Saturday, leave me alone) made Brit Brit happier than a cross-eyed possum the other night when he asked her if she’d take him as her conservator-appointed husband and she flashed the shiny finger joobreeees he gave her all around Las Vegas last night. But Brit Brit’s deep fried soul wasn’t creaming itself over the engagement ring, it was losing it over all the cake, lollies, cake, lollies and caaaaaaaake she was presented with at her engagement party and his birthday party. Diamonds ain’t a Brit Brit’s best friend, granulated sugar is. Nothing turns her inside sads into inside happies like SUGAR! Brit Brit usually looks like a dead deer caught in broken headlights, but all her lights went on when they gave her cake.

You can’t tell from these pictures, but Brit Brit fell so in love with that cake that she took off her diamond ring and stuffed it into the cake while asking it to be her betrothed. Then she swallowed that cake whole, pooted out the ring, slipped it back on her finger and fell back into a cloud of bloated bliss knowing that her ring was once inside her real true love. I mean, this is look the of true love.

Not only is that the look of true love, it’s also the look Kim Richards makes when she tries to let out a brain and butt fart at the same time.

It looks like Brit Brit had a happy night all around. That’s good she didn’t let it get her down when a pack of rabid raccoons jumped her and scratched at her neck after mistaking her for a member of their rival gang. That’s what she gets for doing her eyes up like a hood rat raccoon on heroin.

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