Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

December 16, 2011 / Posted by:

Which Latin star with a great intellect, an amazing body and lots of talents is being cheated on by her partner for a very old, unattractive waitress? The star has no idea the extent of the affair but has been suspicious ever since he came home with a new STD. (BuzzFoto)

Of course this isn’t Charo. Yes, Charo is a Latin legend with a great intellect, an amazing body and lots of talents, but any mortal man who cheats on her is instantly sent to the Love Boat engine room where Isaac slaps him around with a bar towel. Dlisted just needs more Charo. When life hands you an opportunity to post a picture of Charo, you take it!

I’ll guess this is Shakira?

This music guy is in big trouble. Although he has had an impressive number of hits over the past 10+ years, he never got the hang of managing his money. He is now so broke that he is turning to his famous ex for a handout. Unfortunately, she’s not exactly jumping up to help him. She’s been down this road with him before, she knows that they don’t belong together, and she’s not going to spend another penny of her own millions to bail him out of trouble again. (Blind Gossip)

The garden gnome that is Jermaine Dupri?

A few years ago, this married couple went through a very rough patch in their marriage. At the time she was just about an A list movie actress who would never touch television. Coming off a huge franchise, she thought she was better than she actually was and started having fun on the side. Her husband was doing the same though. The two decided to invite over their respective other favorites for a couples weekend. The first celebrity couple to join in also consisted of an A list movie actress who has sniffed television but nothing more than that. Her relationship actually crumbled because her significant other started hanging out with one of the women he had swapped with. Another celebrity couple that joined in consisted of a married couple that had a former A list television actress who has never really done any movies and her wacky husband who has done a little of both. That celebrity couple broke off at one point to do their own thing with a celebrity couple who is married but let on to the world they are just engaged. She is A very strong B list movie actress from some very popular movies and her husband who just does television. The only rules are no phones or cameras and be willing to getting watched by everyone else. The wacky husband loved to be watched. (CDAN)

After I pried my brain off of this blind item and shook out the pieces, this is what fell out:

Couple #1: Married couple. She’s an A-list movie actress who starred in a huge franchise. They had a rough patch once.
Couple #2: A couple who never got married. She’s an A-list movie actress who has only done a little TV and they broke up after he left her for one of their side pieces.
Couple #3 A married couple who separated for a while. She’s an A-list TV actress who hasn’t done a lot of movies and her wacky husband does TV and movies.
Couple #4: They tell everyone they are just engaged, but they’re really married. She’s done a few popular movies and is considered B-list. Her husband only does TV.

They’re all the members of a Hollywood swingers group of sorts. In other words, they all bump bits. My guesses are:

Couple #1: GOOPY Paltrow (Iron Man being the franchise) & Chris Martin?
Couple #2: Charlize Theron & Stuart Townsend?
Couple #3: Courteney Cox & David Arquette?
Couple #4: Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard?

This is completely wrong, but I feel like only Watson from Jeopardy! can solve this.

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