And Just Like That, Mimi Declares Charlize Theron Hello Kitty Enemy #1

December 16, 2011 / Posted by:

If you’re over the age of 30 and see the dot eyes of Hello Kitty staring back at you when you look down at your shirt, then Charlize Theron can’t with you right now, tomorrow or ever. In Young Adult, Charlize plays a superficial home wrecking goddess of my dreams, and she said at The New York Times’ TimesTalk panel (via UsWeekly) that she told the costume designer to get her tons of Hello Kitty t-shirts. Because according to Charlize, there’s something messed up about a 30-something woman wearing a t-shirt with a fat-headed cartoon cat on it. Here’s Charlize judging you Hello Kitty-wearing grown ass women:

“I’m pretty amazed by Hello Kitty. I see so many women in their 30s walking around in Hello Kitty shit and nobody is concerned for them. It’s the one iconic teenage symbol that seems okay for women in their 30s? The world seems to not have an issue with it.”

Charlize Theron can do or say no wrong in my eyes ever since she proudly smoked the good shit out of an apple bong and if she told me to lick the bottom of a lightbulb, I’d do it. Remember in high school when bitches told you that you’d electrocute yourself if you licked the bottom of a light bulb and your stupid ass totally believed them? No? Okay, that was just me then. Anyway, I highly respect Charlize, but I have to disagree with her ass here. She’s absolutely wrong and needs to get checked.

Yes, it’s true that some grown women in Hello Kitty t-shirts look like they smell like Victoria’s Secret body splash and spend their lunch hour highlighting all the things they want in the dELiA*s catalog with a hot pink marker, but that’s not every chick. An adult woman can pull off a Hello Kitty shirt with the help of one very important item: the black blazer. The black blazer can make anything look professional. My chola cousin was going to a job interview at a bank one time and wanted to wear a camisole she bought at Macy’s. It was lacy, made of satin and looked like it came straight from the boudoir of Blanche Devereaux. I told her to save that tramp shit for the office holiday party, but she told me to shut my mouth and then she “business woman-ed” up that camisole by wearing a black blazer with it. Did she get the job? Absolutely not. But they did tell her that they liked her “blouse.” So see, when all else fails, throw a black blazer over it!

And here’s Charlize at the L.A. premiere of Young Adult last night. She’d look a lot hotter if she threw a Hello Kitty and a black blazer on that dress.

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