Open Post: Hosted By Suri And Her Two Slaves

December 15, 2011 / Posted by:

With her ladies-in-waiting at her side, Suri Cruise stomped through the streets of Manhattan this morning wearing a fur coat and a pair of gold heels that you might think she stole from a middle-aged hooker in the Bronx. But how dare you think that. Suri never touches an average mortal until their Thetans have been choked out with barley-scented steam. Suri’s coat is made from Auntie John Travolta’s old wigs and her exquisite heels are made from the gold coins the Scientologists throw at her feet when she walks up the church aisle to her throne. It really takes a lot of money and effort to dress like Strawberry Shortcake as a mafia wife.

And I know that Tommy and Stepford Katie are simply Suri’s handmaidens, but couldn’t they at least try to catch up to her glamour? Those two homely hags look like they should be sorting fish on a boat and I know that’s not the look Tommy is going for. Burn both of those ensembles, Suri!

Tags:
SHARE
Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >