Thursday, December 15th 2011

The 2012 Golden George Nominations

The Golden Globe nominations were announced this morning and it was just a clusterfuck of questions marks and puddles of cold crap with added drops of Gosling, Clooney and Brangelooney (sorry, I wanted that mess to rhyme together).

The Help got a bunch of nominations and I don't even know why. The only thing that mess should be nominated for is Achievement In Terrorizing My Ears By Using That Colbie Caillat Song In A Trailer That Played Every 2 Seconds On My TV. I had "Ooooooh, this is how it starts" trapped in my head space for months and hearing it made me want to sniff a sunflower while swinging on a tree swing. Shit is awful. My Week With Marilyn got nominated for Best Musical and ho sings like twice. Brangelina both got nominated, because not nominating them would go against the highest holy law. And George Clooney pretty much got nominated in every single category. The Golden Globes need to tear their tongue away from George's anus for five seconds so they can slap the shit out of themselves. George already has two drawers full of gold-plated butt dildos and he doesn't need another one.

All the nominations are after the jump. The only real good news to pinch my nipples to is that Jessica Lange, Madeline Stowe and Tilda Swinton all got nominations. They shouldn't even bother with handing out the awards. Just get everyone tanked and let Ricky Gervais make fun of them to their faces for three hours straight. Their awards will be waiting for them in the car along with a baseball signed by Derek Jeter. Yes, the winners will all get 7 minutes of herpes heaven with Jeter. JUMP!

BEST ACTRESS, TV DRAMA
Claire Danes, Homeland
Mireille Enos, The Killing
Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Madeline Stowe, Revenge
Callie Thorne, Necessary Roughness

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
"Hello Hello," Gnomeo and Juliet
"The Keeper," Machine Gun Preacher
"Lay Your Head Down," Albert Nobbs
"The Living Proof," The Help
"Masterpiece," W.E.

BEST ACTRESS, TV COMEDY
Laura Dern, Enlightened
Zooey Deschanel, New Girl
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Laura Linney, The Big C
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE PICTURE
The Flowers of War
In the Land of Blood and Honey
The Kid With a Bike
A Separation
The Skin I Live In

BEST SCREENPLAY
Midnight in Paris
The Ides of March
The Descendants
Moneyball

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Jessica Lange, American Horror Story
Kelly MacDonald, Boardwalk Empire
Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey
Sofia Vergara, Modern Family
Evan Rachel Wood, Mildred Pierce

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones
Paul Giamatti, Too Big To Fail
Guy Pearce, Mildred Pierce
Tim Robbins, Cinema Verite
Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

BEST ACTOR, TV COMEDY
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
David Duchovny, Californication
Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory
Thomas Jane, Hung
Matt LeBlanc, Episodes

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
The Artist
W.E.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Hugo
War Horse

BEST MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Mildred Pierce
Too Big To Fail
Cinema Verite
Downton Abbey
The Hour

BEST TV SERIES, COMEDY
Enlightened
Episodes
Glee
Modern Family
New Girl

BEST ANIMATED FILM
The Adventures of Tintin
Arthur Christmas
Cars 2
Puss in Boots
Rango

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR A MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
William Hurt, Too Big To Fail
Hugh Bonneville, Downton Abbey
Idris Elba, Luther
Bill Nighy, Page Eight
Dominic West, Appropriate Adult

BEST ACTOR, TV DRAMA
Steve Buscemi, Boardwalk Empire
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Kelsey Grammer, Boss
Jeremy Irons, The Borgias
Damian Lewis, Homeland

BEST TV SERIES, DRAMA
American Horror Story
Boardwalk Empire
Boss
Game of Thrones
Homeland

BEST ACTOR, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Brendan Gleeson, The Guard
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 50/50
Ryan Gosling, Crazy, Stupid, Love
Owen Wilson, Midnight in Paris

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Bérénice Bejo, The Artist
Jessica Chastain, The Help
Janet Mcteer, Albert Nobbs
Octavia Spencer, The Help
Shailene Woodley, The Descendants

BEST ACTOR, DRAMA
George Clooney, The Descendants
Leonardo DiCaprio, J. Edgar
Michael Fassbender, Shame
Ryan Gosling, The Ides of March
Brad Pitt, Moneyball

BEST MOTION PICTURE, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
50/50
The Artist
Bridesmaids
Midnight in Paris
My Week With Marilyn

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR A MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Romolai Garai, The Hour
Diane Lane, Cinema Verite
Elizabeth McGovern, Downton Abbey
Emily Watson, Appropriate Adult
Kate Winslet, Mildred Pierce

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Kenneth Branagh, My Week With Marilyn
Albert Brooks, Drive
Jonah Hill, Moneyball
Viggo Mortensen, A Dangerous Method
Christopher Plummer, Beginners

BEST DIRECTOR
Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
George Clooney, The Ides of March
Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Alexander Payne, The Descendants
Martin Scorsese, Hugo

BEST ACTRESS, DRAMA
Glenn Close, Albert Nobbs
Viola Davis, The Help
Rooney Mara, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady
Tilda Swinton, We Need to Talk About Kevin

BEST ACTRESS, MUSICAL OR COMEDY
Jodie Foster, Carnage
Charlize Theron, Young Adult
Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids
Michelle Williams, My Week with Marilyn
Kate Winslet, Carnage

BEST MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
The Descendants
Moneyball
The Help
Hugo
The Ides of March
War Horse

Posted by: Michael K


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kikichanelconspiracy's picture

"Consumer Alert: Fassbender's "Shame" is a steaming pile. Stay away. The mess is a cock tease and Michael manages to be board stiff while completely flaccid. I want my $12.50 back."

I have to respectfully disagree. I thought the movie was really intense and sad. I thought he was really great in it, particularly in the final confrontation with his sister on the couch. Ugh, he was so cruel to her in that scene. I do think the movie will be polarizing though. That's just my opinion. *shrugs*
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.

Daniee's picture

I was really thinking Giancarlo Esposito would have a nom for Breaking Bad....he was nothing short of phenomenal!

Themba's picture

ubmitted by Athina on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 11:14am.

Oh, and this list is absolute crap, as there isn't one nomination for The Sons of Anarchy, which is by far the best written, best performed tv drama since the The Sopranos.

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AGREE!! Katey Sagal is amazing (and Charlie Hunnam, too). It's a flipping 5 star series...how can it be missed? Thank God, Peter Dinklage is nominated for Game of Thrones.

TheBreakdown's picture

Jessica Lange is a great actress and AHS would not be the same without her. She'd BETTER win or ELSE!

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Callie's picture

Jessica Lange was amazing in "Frances" playing Frances Farmer. She was so gorgeous and courageous in that flick. Plus the hot scenes with her and Jack Nicholson make "The Postman Always Rings Twice" a good one as well.

unemployed_bum's picture

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 11:54am.
Why do they keep having these stupid award shows? I loved the episode of South Park when George Clooney's speech after winning the oscar was a cloud of smug heading towards the town to ruin it.
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Best. episode. ever.

liverwurst's picture

"The land of blood and honey" was only nominated as a foreign film. LMAO!!!!! Angie only made it on the list for filming in two lanuages...otherwise FAIL.

IrishFury's picture

K2 - I totally agree, the gays and Phil ARE the show. I watch it for them (I'm sick to death of the Manny kid). It's a pity the adult female characters are so predictable and cloying. Sofia is beautiful but that damn voice as it goes up and down - MAAAAA nee, oh my GODDDDDD!What chu DOOOOOING? has to stop and her accent is ridiculously dramatic. You're from south of the border - we get it.
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Dark-sided!

Modern Family is hands down the funniest comedy on TV right now. You dont even need to be high to laugh. It deserves every award and I'm glad it's finally kicked 30 Rock to the curb. Take Sophia out of the equation and you still have a funny show. The gays and Phil are the show.

As for AHS, it's so weird and creepy but I cant shut it off. I suspect this will be its final season * spoiler alert* ...since the daughter is already dead and the wife is onto the fact that the house is haunted. Really wouldnt be the same show if you put a new family in there.... oh well.

And yes, imo, Jolie totally bought that nomination !

daisydaisy's picture

Jessica Lange is amazing in American Horror Story. That's how it's done.
Other than that, GG are a joke. Nominations are paid for. Why bother? Just give out the awards to highest bidders and get it over with.
Btw, how is Jolie's film in a foreign category?
Is she an alien or a reptile?

Ricky Gervais is going to have a blast messing with the folks on this list.

Solaera's picture

Submitted by Rdeadline on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 10:50am.

Jessica Lange acts the hell out of her role on American Horror Story. She's like Alexis Carrington mixed with an evil old southern man.

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JL is fantastic in AHS. I have read nothing but shit reviews about that show but I LOVE it.

Someone mentioned Jessica's fucked up face but what about Madeline Stowe!? I love her but geez, nothing on her face moves and her lips are all crookedy and shit.

Stessie1216's picture

Well, we all know that the lovely DDL will win everything next year as Abe Lincoln so too bad for everyone in 2013. Viggo made the best movie of his life (Eastern Promises' with full frontal fight scene) and DDL comes out of hiding to make a movie.

Two Drink Min's picture

blah blah GGs, I am sorry. These are a joke. Personally I think it's a crap year for movies.

Ethang - yes he was, but not working with her like that. This was in 03 and she was the assistant to the owner of a prestigious real estate co in Bucks County. He did the photography for the co.
She didn't last long before she said she was going back to modeling.
She was a big hit at the xmas party with all the married guys fawning over her and wives shitting bricks.

Few Words's picture

Submitted by Gardening Girl on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 11:09am.
@ Few Words - But a beej and a handjob is a skill that should be acknowledged

YESS!

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

westward ho's picture

"the help" won't see the movie; book sucked. patronizing racist feel-good twaddle, VOMIT.

"game of thrones" won't win but i don't care; i'm just waiting for season 2.

...

but, then again, what do i know?

FreakGeek's picture

Um yeah...Sofia Vergara's mispronunciation schtick was already done much better by Nadine Velazquez on My Name Is Earl.

MissJaneTexas's picture

My take:

The Help was okay (as a movie) Loved the book. Although Viola Davis was AMAZING and deserves an Oscar nod.

I love Johnny Galecki and want him to win.

I am glad to see JOey working again.

Revenge is a really good show.

I am so over Glee and that New Girl show is AWFUL. I like zooey but that show makes me want to slap a kitten.

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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011

Bree's picture

The Help was an awesome book. That fucking song has got to go though. It's in some shampoo commercial with Eva Mendes now. FUCK OFF COLBIE CALLAIT!

Also, Jessica Lange and Johnny Galecki deserve to win.

Final note: I'm so tired of Modern Family's overrated bullshit. It won pretty much every award on the last award show I watched. What a waste of time. It's not even that funny.

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warmjuice's picture

what a dull fucking era

tasty dish's picture

I concur. The Help - skip the movie, read the book.

Joeb's picture

Consumer Alert: Fassbender's "Shame" is a steaming pile. Stay away. The mess is a cock tease and Michael manages to be board stiff while completely flaccid. I want my $12.50 back.

Whatever's picture

Why do they keep having these stupid award shows? I loved the episode of South Park when George Clooney's speech after winning the oscar was a cloud of smug heading towards the town to ruin it.

cdawg's picture

MICHAEL SHANNON GOT SNUBBED!!! His performance in "Take Shelter" and Michael Fassboner's in "Shame" were two best of the entire year. At least Fassy got a nod.

Also, American Horror Story is the biggest crock of shit I've ever seen.

Like the Golden Globes is reputable for anything anyways. The Ides of March was a snooze fest.

be cool about fire safety

Athina's picture

Oh, and this list is absolute crap, as there isn't one nomination for The Sons of Anarchy, which is by far the best written, best performed tv drama since the The Sopranos.

ethang's picture

Submitted by Two Drink Min on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 11:00am.
ehtang - thought so. Used to work with my ex.
Talk about testing a relationship. Don't know why I worried though, he was too young and not rich.
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Shana worked with your ex? Was he a photographer?

Gardening Girl's picture

@ Few Words - But a beej and a handjob is a skill that should be acknowledged

Athina's picture

Slightly off topic, but Sophia Vergara is an absolute moron for butchering Martin Scorsese's name. Really you dumb bitch? You're in Hollywood how long and you can't shake that ridiculously overplayed accent and don't know how to pronounce the name of one of the most prolific directors in Hollywood?

The Machine's picture

I could give a shit about these circle jerk fest awards shows, but I will say I'm glad 50/50 is up there. God, that was a fanfuckingtastic film.
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Raising the bar for lowering standards since 1982.

Pure Trash's picture

I'm down with Madeline Stowe, I'm glad that she has a TV show now so that I don't have to watch 12 Monkeys to get my fix- not that i don't want to see a younger Brad Pitt go crazy and show his ass, but ya know. Then there's always Trini Alvarado - the Madeline Stowe knock off.

Few Words's picture

GG is award show for actors/actress that give the best HJ, BJ in hollywood

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.

Two Drink Min's picture

ehtang - thought so. Used to work with my ex.
Talk about testing a relationship. Don't know why I worried though, he was too young and not rich.

Deb's picture

@little_rascal
I've never seen "The Abyss" because I'm a wuss about scary movies. Ed Harris was great in "Pollock", although the movie was depressing as hell.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

ethang's picture

Submitted by Two Drink Min on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 10:40am.
ethang - curious who is in your avie?

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It's Shana Zadrick, a 90's Guess model.

Yawn. Isn't think like the re-do of last year? Same actor/actresses vying in the same categories, hoping that their studio/producer made enough of a impact (ok bribe) with the 85 members of the HFPAA to win them that accolade.

Echo27's picture

Wait...didn't Mildred Pierce win a million awards last year? Or did it come out too late and miss the Globes?

EastEndGirl's picture

Snowy, I have never ever made you read a book unworthy of your eyes. Read The Help. It is excellent.

DO NOT PUT YOUR BALLS ON MY FACE UNLESS I'M SUCKING YOUR COCK! M.E. 07/11/11

Gardening Girl's picture

I want to see The Artist, but no one will go with me! :(

Rdeadline's picture

I want to see The Artist.

Jessica Lange acts the hell out of her role on American Horror Story. She's like Alexis Carrington mixed with an evil old southern man.

Anti-Brandgelina's picture

Can't wait for another Gervais vs. Jolie 2.0

Darknight's picture

I've seen Tootsie but don't remember her on it. I'm gonna add Blue Sky and Sweet Dreams to my watch list during Christmas.

I guess all the asskissing and BS articles have worked for Brangelina. Still not watching none of their damn movies.

It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~

parissucksliterally's picture

Hi 2 Drink!!! It is Allessandra Ambrosio in ethang's avie.

snowy, The Help is a really good book.

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It is the evening of the day,
I sit and watch the children play
Doin' things I used to do they think are new,
I sit and watch as tears go by
-The Rolling Stones

little_rascal's picture

Submitted by Deb on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 10:38am.

If you like Jessica Lange, you must see "Sweet Dreams", from 1985. She portrays Patsy Cline AND sings in the movie. Ed Harris is hot as her husband, too.

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Great movie! And awesome Ed Harris is the hotness! "The Abyss" is my favorite with him. Love that man.

jsanto24's picture

Submitted by Somuchbetterthanyou on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 10:27am.

I think Modern Family is tolerable, but PLEASE on Sofia Viagra being nom'ed for her weekly impression of Charo...AGAIN.
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my thoughts exactly. i like modern family, but sofia vergara is annoying and the whole mispronouncing words shtick is getting pretty old.

and wtf Glee was nominated again? That show was past its prime after a few episodes. I also find it quite ridiculous Kristen Wiig was nominated for best actress and Melissa McCarthy was snubbed for best supporting. that movie would have been terrible if not for her!

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*Beauty fades, but bitchiness gets better with age!* - MK

snowpiece's picture

I had no desire to read or see The Help just for the reasons you guys mentioned
"Oh Miss Scarlett, I don't know nothin bought birthin no babies! Lawdie"

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Dog's picture

*snore* New post, puh-leeze?

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M.E.'s picture

TEAM JESSICA LANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love that fiesty bitch!

Two Drink Min's picture

ethang - curious who is in your avie?

Deb's picture

If you like Jessica Lange, you must see "Sweet Dreams", from 1985. She portrays Patsy Cline AND sings in the movie. Ed Harris is hot as her husband, too.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson