Fanny Is A Mom Again

December 14, 2011 / Posted by:

The skin on Fantasia’s left arm is shivering today, because it’s only a matter of time before she gets the face of her second baby friend tattooed on there. (Sidenote: I never understood why people get the faces of their children, mother, father or any other relative tattooed on their arm? Do you really want to look down at your child’s face while you’re giving a handjob? That’ll mess up your rhythm and then you’ll have to start all over again.)

Fanny birthed out a son in North Carolina sometime yesterday and she isn’t saying who the daddy is, but Aunt Bunny and I know the father is that married trash she picked up in a T-Mobile store. GWORL PLEE! As soon as Fanny caught her breath after hollering out a billion breaths during labor (you know that bitch gets EXTRA during labor), she let out this statement to People:

Baby Dallas made his debut on Tuesday in North Carolina at 7 lbs., 9 oz. and 21 inches long. He joins big sister Zion, 10.

“I feel so blessed that my son Dallas Xavier was born healthy, and is a wonderful new addition to our family. I thank all my fans for their well wishes and continued support.”

I was half-expecting Fanny to name her son Fave Five after where she met his daddy, so the name “Dallas Xavier” is pretty tame. But still. What has Dallas done to deserve this kind of treatment this year? First came A-List: Dallas (fuckery punch #1), then came Khloe & Lamar moving to Dallas (fuckery punch #2) and now this?! At a courthouse in Texas somewhere, you can probably find Dallas trying to change its name to Sallad. Actually, Sallad is a really good baby name.

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