Demi Moore Is Not Changing Her Twatter Name Anytime Soon, Thankyouverymuch
Approximately six seconds after Demi Moore's marriage died and became a ghost that will jump into Whoopi Goldberg's body from time to time to haunt her, some people started asking if she's going to legally change her Twitter handle from @mrskutcher. Demi finally answered this highly important question after her followers kept hitting her with it. I appreciate Demi's Tweet, but only because she dipped it in bitch and rolled it in sarcasm before she threw it at her followers:
changing my twitter name isn't a top priority right now. sorry it bothers so many of u. should I not tweet until I do?does it really matter?
9 hours ago
Yes, it does matter, DU-MEEEE. There was a time when Demi couldn't even squeeze out a dusty queef without Tweeting about its grand exit first, so her Twitter account should be her top priority. There are some followers who stare at her handle and relive the painful memories of her and Ashton gushing at each other on Twitter. Selfish old bitch.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to register the Twitter names @primecougarpuss, @eatmykutcher and @mrsfuckthatbitchashtonkutcher, because Demi is obviously changing hers to one of those and I want to make top dollar when I sell one to her.