During this holiday season, two things have happened in Florida so far:
1) The top story on the local news was about two glamorous burglars stealing $500 worth of lawn ornaments. Also, it’s pretty much impossible to point out the differences between the local news in Florida and Inside Edition.
2) The glamorous burglars in question stole the Christmas decorations (including a Mickey Mouse riding a horse, I repeat, a Micky Mouse riding a horse) from their neighbor’s yard and then put that shit on their own front yard just a block away. Those dumb bitches should be thankful that what they lack in simple common sense, they make up for in GLAMOUR!
The moral of the story is, you really can’t trust a ho who keeps a stolen shopping cart in her yard.