It's All About The Queso Teeth!
Thanks to trendsetter Lindsay Lohan, teeth covered in gum diarrhea are the must-have beauty staple amongst Hollywood's most stunning beauties. At last night's NYC premiere of We Bought A Zoo (which is also the exact line an E! executive said to their staff after they picked up Keeping Up with the Kuntrashians), ScarJo accessorized her dick cheese grill with fruit bowl hair, your nana's favorite rhinestone holiday earrings and a dress that I swear I saw hanging out of a cardboard box in front of the Salvation Army near my apartment.
I have to thank ScarJo for breaking out of the bright white chiclets mold that society expects all of us to fit into. ScarJo is chewing through a ball of dick cheese to get to natural beauty and we should thank her for this. I mean, real people have nicotine smegma on their teefs. They don't have blinding ass white cartoon teeth. Since carrot teeth are officially in, I can stop with the whitening toothpaste, the whitening mouthwash and those dark-sided Crest White Strips. Crest White Strips are a tool from Hell and I swear they're made from the jizz of Satan. Whenever I pull those evil things off my teeth, it feels like I just nibbled on an aluminum foil asshole before getting squirted in the mouth with Clorox. But those days are behind us now that dirty butt teeth are so now!
Here's more pictures from last night's premiere including some of Matt Damon with his wife, Elle Fanning, some other childrens, Sylvia Miles and Parker Posey. On a different note, who the hell is going to see this shit?! Why would I watch ScarJo and Matt Damon fall in love in front of a bunch of animals who cannot maul those boring bitches since they're trapped in cages? That's torture.
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My husband (and all of his guy friends) love (lust) this b*tch. They think she's THE perfect woman...all the rights features...and of course Sessy as hell.
I liked her in the Pearl shit and think she is a relatively good actress...given what we've got to choose from. But, she (along with Taylor Swift) makes me want to slap the bullshit right out of them. Dunno...I just don't like the b*tch.
...and P.S. I've read reviews on the 2-hour version and have heard they don't work as well and cause severe sensitivity in most people.
Why are the ones in front orange and the ones in the back white? She may want to see an orthodontist for that bottom grill. @sandandfuck the Crest Whitestrips DO WORK. I used them over a year ago on my top teef only and they are still white while the bottom is still stained. Some people are more sensitive than others - I can only take 2-3 treatments (most are 10-14 days/applications) before my teef start hurting. I take a day or two off and do it again. I have a pack staring at me from my desk right now that I want to use, but the thought of the sensitivity I'm going to feel after using them is scaring me away. Dentist actually talked me out of the $500 whitening, said CWS worked just as well.
Lindsay + Scarlett= Smokers Teeth!!
Bitch got more money then all of us. Smh
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:16am.
I disagree about her not being able to act.
Have you ever seen "Girl With A Pearl Earring"? she was wonderful.
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Amazing movie.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
I thought "The Black Dahlia" sucked on epic levels. The story has such potential to me an AWESOME movie, but they failed.
how now blonde cow?
Submitted by Infamous on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:30am.
why is she famous?
Two reasons.
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"I prefer my pieces the same way I prefer my Slim Jims, long, lean and mute" --the incomparable MK
She is one of those people who is always a heartbeat away from being fat. She's like BloHan - no muscle tone whatsoever.
Does she even have a personality??
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I read The Other Boleyn Girl, so I can't see the movie.
I love Eric Bana, but HenryVIII was a REDHEAD for fuck's sake.
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All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watching the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
And speak my point of view but it's not sane
It's not sane
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:01am.
I just came back from my bi-annual dentist vist and my teeth and all nice and white. I have to wear my retainer every night though - all night.
Between that and my night facial creams and occasional feet covered in Vaseline and wrapped in fluffy socks, I am one sexy woman in my sleeping chambers!
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Take it from one who knows: an eye mask and ear plugs complete the look! (I, too, am a sight in my "sleeping chambers.")
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 12/13/2011 -
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LOOollolololl... rollin. in mah figh point oh wit my ragtop down so mah hair can blow.
Girlies on the stand by waving just tah say hi.
Didja stop?
No i just drove on...
Darknight... I liked it but that aspect of it is very disconcerting.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
why is she famous?
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
Submitted by Provolone on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:21am.
"make me look like vanilla ice"
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LOOollolololl... rollin. in mah figh point oh wit my ragtop down so mah hair can blow.
I think the bitch is plain no matter what her hair looks like or what she is wearing... she bores me.
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
& The Other Boleyn Girl...thank you Darknight.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by guest on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:23am.
I liked her in The Black Dahlia.
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Is that worth watching? I really wanted to watch it but I can't take watching any violence against women. Gives me the sads.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
I fell asleep during The Black Dahlia. Josh Hartnett's monotone is lulling.
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All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watching the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
And speak my point of view but it's not sane
It's not sane
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:16am.
I disagree about her not being able to act.
Have you ever seen "Girl With A Pearl Earring"? she was wonderful.
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I think the reason I liked that movie so much is because she barely spoke. And of course Cillian Murphy and Colin Firth who can do no wrong!
Bitch needs to work on her horrendous acting before she even worries about her teefs.
Bottom line - Queso teeth do not affect blow job quality so ScarJo is as 'useful' now as she ever was.
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Name Deleted: Me, too. I really liked that movie. It's funny. Where is that idiot? I just went to the Tattoo Boy thread (where ba-buttns got all hoity toity) and didn't see.
I liked her in The Black Dahlia.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Brush. Your. Teeth. Dammit people, my teeth only look like that at the end of a long day before I've polished them with Colgate.
You're famous. You have people to do hair, nails, clothes, makeup... so why not spend two minutes BRUSHING YOUR TEETH?! Do you like killing buffalo with your breath?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I've always kinda liked Scarjo but this ain't her best look by any means.
Those smile lines on Parker Posey cheeks are damn sexy, her whole face lights up when she smiles...nice:)
Because pretty much everyone else gets their teef bleached an unnatural shade of BRIGHT LIGHT WHITE, her untouched teefs look dirty.
Yes, they are stained, but really, who's aren't? Real teeth are not bright white, there is a yellowish shade to them. The wrong color lipstick etc can contribute to adding to the yellowish color.
That said, I can't stand this insufferable bitch and I have thus far seen her in anything that displays any sort of decent acting.
Aww, she looks ok for 50.
"make me look like vanilla ice"
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:16am.
I disagree about her not being able to act.
Have you ever seen "Girl With A Pearl Earring"? she was wonderful.
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No I haven't. All I've seen her in is "Iron Man 3", "he's just not that into you", "match point", and "the other boleyin girl". Was not impressed but I will check that out and reserve my judgement.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
Her hair is more offensive than her teefs imo but she really should whiten them a little bit.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
IrishFury -- you sound like quite the enchantress when you hit the mattress, babe!!! RAWR!!! LOL!
I've always said ScarHo is nothing to look at. You can tell how pretty a woman is when she has short hair or a hairdo where the hair is out of the face. She has derp mouth IMO.
The two hour whitestrips are just okay. They do whiten but its not amazing or anything. My teeth hurt the day after I used them the first time, but if you brush with toothpaste for sensitive teeth the day before and the day of and the day after, you can totally avoid the pain.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
She is in desperate need of a new hair stylist. Her hair always looks awful.
I disagree about her not being able to act.
Have you ever seen "Girl With A Pearl Earring"? she was wonderful.
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All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watching the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
And speak my point of view but it's not sane
It's not sane
This will not be a popular statement over here, but I think her teeth look fine. Nor fucking amazingly spectacular but ok. Nothing to OMG about.
Now, seeing a celebrity with a set of fake teeth so white that they're almost blinding, that makes wanna scream.
Poor woman got everything wrong. The hair, the teefs, the outfit(?), the shoes. Her stylist hates her.
Dammnit woman, get it together! You are not a good actress, this is ALL you have. At least bring out the titties to distract us.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:08am.
Looks she just took a bite of a cheezwhiz sammich.
Danm girl they do make 2 hour express whitestrips now. Look into it, k?
Good thing you got big chesticals because you can't act either
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Have you tried those two hour whiteners? I'm tempted, but I'm really bad at following directions. I'd probably end up with a crooked white stripe across my grill. =)
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
I remember reading about a lawsuit filed by a patient against his dentist (who won) when the dentist was able to prove he told the guy time after time that teeth weren't pure white and it wasn't his fault that people stared and snickered after the procedure.
*erases blue eyeshadow and hair, and fills in missing part of dress* MUCH better.
meh, at least she has them all...
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
Someone here said those Crest 3D Whitestrips are really kewl. Do they hurt? Do they make your teeth sensitive?
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
throwing scarjo a chew bone.
Looks she just took a bite of a cheezwhiz sammich.
Danm girl they do make 2 hour express whitestrips now. Look into it, k?
Good thing you got big chesticals because you can't act either.
Blake Lively is bookmarking these photos and cackling furiously. (So's Ryan).
Scarlett's obviously pretty, teefs aside, but she doesn't have the ability to wear cool clothes or hair; she always looks like a straight fool. Of course, I'm a plebe and Sean Penn and Woody Allen have never jacked off on the small of my back, so I think she wouldn't listen to advice from the likes of me. She's an intellectual.
Sylvia Miles looks scary.
I'm going to pretend that it's the lighting + lip color choice that are bringing out the queso teeth. I'd like to instead point out what I really cannot stand here. Her fucking hair! She always does this shit. It's either this or that stupid style that makes bitches look like fucking cockatiels. It's not pretty. Nor is it edgy, despite what this ho may believe. I think that's why she does it?
Elle Fanning...that dress! I LOVE! Little china doll.
exactly, warm juice.
she smokes, therefore her teeth look gross.
she probably drinks a lot of red wine too.
That being said, she has millions of dollars- she can't get her teeth whitened periodically?
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All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watching the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
And speak my point of view but it's not sane
It's not sane
Yeah, mang.
Her teeth are hideous.
*eyeroll*
I just came back from my bi-annual dentist vist and my teeth and all nice and white. I have to wear my retainer every night though - all night.
Between that and my night facial creams and occasional feet covered in Vaseline and wrapped in fluffy socks, I am one sexy woman in my sleeping chambers!
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Dark-sided!
smokers teef
ScarJo is not hot and she needs to learn that nicotine stains teef. She is nassy.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org