It's All About The Queso Teeth!
Thanks to trendsetter Lindsay Lohan, teeth covered in gum diarrhea are the must-have beauty staple amongst Hollywood's most stunning beauties. At last night's NYC premiere of We Bought A Zoo (which is also the exact line an E! executive said to their staff after they picked up Keeping Up with the Kuntrashians), ScarJo accessorized her dick cheese grill with fruit bowl hair, your nana's favorite rhinestone holiday earrings and a dress that I swear I saw hanging out of a cardboard box in front of the Salvation Army near my apartment.
I have to thank ScarJo for breaking out of the bright white chiclets mold that society expects all of us to fit into. ScarJo is chewing through a ball of dick cheese to get to natural beauty and we should thank her for this. I mean, real people have nicotine smegma on their teefs. They don't have blinding ass white cartoon teeth. Since carrot teeth are officially in, I can stop with the whitening toothpaste, the whitening mouthwash and those dark-sided Crest White Strips. Crest White Strips are a tool from Hell and I swear they're made from the jizz of Satan. Whenever I pull those evil things off my teeth, it feels like I just nibbled on an aluminum foil asshole before getting squirted in the mouth with Clorox. But those days are behind us now that dirty butt teeth are so now!
Here's more pictures from last night's premiere including some of Matt Damon with his wife, Elle Fanning, some other childrens, Sylvia Miles and Parker Posey. On a different note, who the hell is going to see this shit?! Why would I watch ScarJo and Matt Damon fall in love in front of a bunch of animals who cannot maul those boring bitches since they're trapped in cages? That's torture.


I heard that she smokes like a chimney. Tobaccy-teefers....
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Hold up! Hell NO! Like Britney Spears I wear no drawers!
Her teeth are fine. The problem these days is that the general public has been presented with such overly airbrushed bitches every hour of the goddamn day that they have forgotten what REAL bitches look like.
And considering she was boning a Penn, it is lucky for her that she doesn't have track marks and pieces of blizzard balls hanging from her nose.
I say give this trick a pass!
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Her teeth are weird, they're all nasty in the front then white towards the back??? It's nice to see that celebrities don't have white teeth, but damn you're a celebrity and should be able to afford a good cleaning and whitening. I am not a celebrity, but at least my teeth are nice and white. Thanks, to Crest Whitestrips!
Submitted by Statler and Waldorf on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 6:47pm.
My teeth are about that shade and I hate it, but all of my whitening efforts have resulted in horribly painful teeth for days. The stuff that is less harsh barely did anything. I wish I could afford veneers. I probably need to see a cosmetic dentist and ask about bonding, because I hate smiling.
PS...Non-smoker here and I drink mostly water. :\
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I have teeth about this shade as well. I don't smoke or even drink coffee or tea. I think it's a fairly normal color for teeth, IMHO.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
aww that fanny girl has a cute dress! LOVE IT.
i couldnt care less about the other bitch and her cum stained teeth.
i do not understand what is hot about this chick...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
My teeth are about that shade and I hate it, but all of my whitening efforts have resulted in horribly painful teeth for days. The stuff that is less harsh barely did anything. I wish I could afford veneers. I probably need to see a cosmetic dentist and ask about bonding, because I hate smiling.
PS...Non-smoker here and I drink mostly water. :\
Smoker. No doubt.
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
BLECCCCH! I never understood this chick's appeal.
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"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
meguessy that it's mostly the contrast betwix the front upper 6 teefs and the other top ones which are prolly veneers or something.
and who is the betty in the track pants? now that's a look.
They're not that bad. Blindingly white teeth look ridiculous, anyway. Her eyeshadow is a definite no, though...blue is very hard to pull off, and she's DOING IT RONG.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
I think it's refreshing that a Hollywood star doesn't have perfectly white teeth. She smokes too so they look pretty good in spite of that.
I whitened my teeth 2 times with the Crest Whitestrips and used the Listerine whitening mouthwash for like a year but I stopped because my teeth would hurt. They looked really nice for quite a while.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
She's not pretty. Nice chest but that's about it and I can't get the image of her boning Sean Penn outta my head...
I'm glad someone else noticed her nasty teeth! I saw this crap on the Today Show and wondered why she didn't whiten her smoker's grill.
er, make that public RESTAURANT.
Scarjo is a dumb bitch. Yeah, she's good looking but she is stupid. Stupid enough to get married and then immediately dump her husband. Stupid enough to take up with Sean Penn. Stupid enough to get papped while giving him a foot job in a public restroom. She should crawl away in shame and re-invent herself now. Stupid twit.
She has nice teeth, but needs to get them whitened by Zoom at the Dentist. Tooth whitening system.
I actually like ScarJo's hair. It reminds me of Bette Davis after she got the makeover in Now, Voyager.
Hope is the last thing to die...
...did I miss it, or has nobody commented on her hairstyle?!.....this has got to be the most un-flattering do that I've ever seen!...she doesn't seem to be aging very well either for someone still in her 20's.....but damn, that hair really is awful...I think she still has a smokin' body and she can look a lot better with a better "do" and the right make-up...the teeth aren't a big deal for me, 'cause the typical "too white" teeth many celebs have almost look creepy 'cause they don't seem real..
I think Elle Fanning is gorgeous.
Not much to add re: Scarlett, except that I'm glad to see she gave up on that shitty looking red hair, which looked terrible on her.
i'm kind of glad the whole uber-white teeth phase is coming to an end. although i don't support yellowy messes, i think a more natural state is perfectly acceptable.
also, elle fanning is kind of adorable.
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Her teeth look normal to me. Mine have a slight yellow tinge to them as well as I refuse to ruin my enamel by bleaching.
What bothers me are Elle's shoes- her poor toes!!!!! They look in pain!
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
MK you are right about those damn White Strips!! They fucking hurt!
Her face weirds me out. Her eyes are too far apart or something and she needs to get that mole/wart thing cut off her face.
The yellow teefs are not that bad but like others have said the unnatural whiteness that you see in movies still looks a lot better. I tried brushing the gak off my tongue once...talk about dry heaves!
The eyeshadow looks nice. Maybe she smoked too much hanging out with yellow toothed Penn?
I was just thinking that yesterday when I saw Scarlett on TV - that her teeth aren't perfectly white like so many in Hollyweird today. I like that she doesn't want to ruin her enamel with bleach. Blech. She IS tho looking older, esp next to Elle. WHERE is Patrick Fugit who is in this movie?? I wanna see HIM. He has always been cute!!
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Love me some Posey! Bitch was hot in A Mighty Wind.
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"What bakery is this?"
"Zed's Bread baby, Zed's Bread."
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"What bakery is this?"
"Zed's Bread baby, Zed's Bread."
She may not be the sexiest broad but shes real. I'd take cheese-ball over some fake breasted/chiclet veneered+nassy fake titted fill in the blank ho. This is why they have Swisspers people!
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"What bakery is this?"
"Zed's Bread baby, Zed's Bread."
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:23am.
If this were ten years ago, nobody would notice anything wrong with her teeth.
Sure her teeth should be whiter because she is a movie star, but we have gotten so used to seeing all this fake shit, that normal things look wrong.
And THAT is wrong.
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what can i add? there's nothing to add! U said it all, hekki! :)
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
It's not so much the color that is the gross-out factor for me, it's that it looks like she doesn't floss and has tartar build up between them.
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Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:16am.
The two hour whitestrips are just okay. They do whiten but its not amazing or anything. My teeth hurt the day after I used them the first time, but if you brush with toothpaste for sensitive teeth the day before and the day of and the day after, you can totally avoid the pain.
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Samesies, my teeth got so sensitive I had to stop using them. That and I apparently became immune to the differences after a while. My dad told me I started to look like this:
http://i.cdn.turner.com/v5cache/TBS/Images/Dynamic/i23/friends_episode12...
and I had to stop. Too white is too creepy. Too yellow is too creepy. Her teeth are nowhere near as bad as Lindsay's.
Doesn't she smoke? That's probably why.
Forget about the teeth, let's talk about that hair. That second thumbnail is pure derp.
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Sylvia Miles looks the best of all of them. That crazy old slut. LOVE HER.
Why would I watch ScarJo and Matt Damon fall in love in front of a bunch of animals who cannot maul those boring bitches since they're trapped in cages?
My thoughts exactly. I don't know what the hell happened to Cameron Crowe, but he's been on a a downhill trajectory since Almost Famous. I blame Tommy Girl.
Submitted by Datura on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:41am
Nah, I think she is beautiful too...as do most of the men (and women) in this world. This site rarely finds anyone attractive.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
She is losing her hotness at a very rapid pace, and a very young age. Some people are beautiful their whole lives, for others it's fleeting. Maybe she's one of those girls who really isn't all that up close and in real life? In my opinion... if you are in the public eye, or your job is such that you get paid to look better than regular folk, then you need to keep up your appearance. That means you get your teeth whitened, or veneers or whatever. But, to each his/her own. If she's okay with it, whatevs... she'll show up next month with super white teeth after she sees these pics (and you know she totally reads everythign about herself).
Submitted by derf on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:01am.
Why are the ones in front orange and the ones in the back white? ...
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Maybe she's part porcupine?
I guess I'm in the minority here, but I do think Scarlett is beautiful (her eyes especially). Her creaky, crackly little boy voice is what bothers me.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. –michelleb
Hekki, I agree about the fake perfection of veneers, but yellow teeth have always grossed me out.
bad teeth are a deal breaker for me when dating. My Man has a beautiful smile. It's what got me. :)
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If this were ten years ago, nobody would notice anything wrong with her teeth.
Sure her teeth should be whiter because she is a movie star, but we have gotten so used to seeing all this fake shit, that normal things look wrong.
And THAT is wrong.
A few have pointed out how her teefies got that way. However, it also proves she's just like everybody else. Not err1 has a perfect grill to show around. Celebrity or not.
Look at the whites of her eyes, er, where the white is supposed to be - she's high as a kite.
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"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 11:15am.
OMG, I just got what Provy and Jacko were talking about!! HAHAHAHHAHA 20 minutes later... *colors and sips juice box*
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Submitted by Datura on Tue, 12/13/2011 - 10:12am.
Have you tried those two hour whiteners? I'm tempted, but I'm really bad at following directions. I'd probably end up with a crooked white stripe across my grill. =)
yes and they work. They're easy you just peel them off a piece of foil and stick em on and wa-la!
OMG, I just got what Provy and Jacko were talking about!! HAHAHAHHAHA 20 minutes later... *colors and sips juice box*
bitch, please. you all know her teeth are pearly white. scarjo isn't a crackho like hohan.
Does the grinch know she is out this late?
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011