Lindsay Lohan can’t go a full week without fucking up at least twice (the first being leaving $10,000 cash in an unlocked Jeep) or the earth will tilt on its side out of shock and the world’s supply of coke will fall off the planet and into the universe where junkie aliens will snort all of it up without her. So because of this, LiLo missed her flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles this morning and didn’t make her scheduled taping (it was supposed to air on Thursday) of The Ellen DeGenres Show. LiLo was going to whore out that issue of Playboy everybody has already seen, but it’s not going to happen anymore. A source tells Gossip Cop that LiLo never called the show to apologize. Instead, LiLo’s spokeswhore said this:
“Lindsay was delayed in Hawaii due to a travel-related issue. She will be heading back this evening in time to appear in court tomorrow. Lindsay offered to tape ‘Ellen’ tomorrow, but the show was unable to shift things around, and tomorrow is their last day of taping for the season.”
Travel-related?! More like a brain-related problem. I know a single mother of 3 who packs all of her kids bags, makes them a snack for the plane, gets all of them to take a caca before leaving for the airport and bitch still makes her flight. Yet LiLo only has to snort one last bump for the road and show up to the airport on time, but bitch can’t even do that. I swear, sometimes I wish I could really not give a fuck as much as Lindsay Lohan doesn’t give a fuck.