The last time Tommy Girl found himself coughing on the crystal dust that wafts from the threads of crushed diamonds on the Duchess of Alba’s glorious head, he failed to properly pay his respects to her by curtsying in front of her. It looks like the dumb bitch didn’t learn from his mistakes, because here he is with her and her new husband at the Spanish premiere of Mission Impossible: Ghosts Be Protocoling in Madrid, and I couldn’t find one picture of him bowing to her like he should be. You can tell the Duchess is not one ounce of amused over this. It’s a good thing I’m completely fluent in Spanish bitchfaces and know exactly what the Duchess is saying with her face. She is clearly saying, “Do I need to pull out a cock out of my coat in order for you to get on your knees, you silly little bitch? Pay homage, honey. HOMAGE!”
The next time Tommy is gazing his eyes at the Klingon Baby Jane, he better hit the floor like his knees have anuses on them and the carpet is covered with peens. If he doesn’t, the Spanish Armada will drag him away and throw him into a cell with a bunch of sweaty Spanish men for the rest of his days. Actually, that’s probably the reason why he’s committing the ultimate act of disrespect against the Duchess. Carry on, Tommy, carry on.
And here’s more of Tommy, the most beautiful dandelion in the Spanish garden, Simon Pegg and Paula Patton at last night’s premiere.