Khloe & Lamar Will Terrorize Dallas
Unsuspecting Dallasites were sitting at lunch yesterday afternoon when the cup of sweet tea on their table started to quiver Jurassic Park-style from the quiet boom of impending doom coming its way. It wasn't caused by a T-Rex's stomps or from the vapid whore bitches of The A-List: Dallas sucking all the oxygen from the city by gathering together in one room for the reunion. WORSE! It was from the entire city dry heaving over the upcoming terrorization of THE KUNTRASHIANS! Board up your windows, hide all the black dick and hang all your cameras in the trees, because the Kuntrashians will wet hump any lens they come across.
The L.A. Times Lakers Blog reports that Khloe Kardashian's husband Lamar Odom was traded from the Lakers to the Dallas Mavericks, because apparently they want to dump his $17 million salary and use that money to pick up Dwight Howard. And because they're sick of the taste of bile that fills their mouths every time they stare at the piles of useless dumps sitting courtside for practically every game. Khloe already said that she'll gallop after Lamar wherever he goes and wherever Khloe goes, so does E!'s cameras, the other Kuntrashians, a Dash store and her secret wookie pack who will NOM NOM on half of the city's supply of small dogs. Khloe got on her Twatter shortly after Lamar's trade was announced and said leaving L.A. is giving her the sads:
We are all sad but positive energy gets you farther then negative.I have no doubt about it! I am excited :) I know this is for a reason.
Isn't there a team in Chernobyl Lamar could've been traded to? The Kuntrashians have already infected L.A. and NYC, and now those human herp warts are sprouting up in Dallas? I know everything is bigger in Texas, even the Karkrashians, but this isn't right. Just image Khloe in a cowboy hat and splitting ear drums in half by putting a Texas twang on her slutty baby voice. Not only that, but think of the rodeo bulls. They already have it bad enough and now when Khloe struts into the rodeo, they'll be left wondering why that big beast gets to sit in the stands while they get rode hard? GOD: There isn't one.
And here's the soon-to-be Sasquatch of Texas taking Mason out for his weekly photo-op.
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Local news just reported that Rob is moving here along with Khloe and Lamar. Damn, still mooching off his siter! And, DAMN, every ho in town will be following his royal douchness all over town. *vomit*
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 9:31am.
Submitted by TelevisedRevolution on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 9:25am.
Does Kris Jenner claim to be white?
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A better question.. does Kris Jenner claim to be human? Also, I thought she was changing her name back to Kardasian so she could famewhore like her kids. I bet ol lesbian bruce loved that.
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Bruce pouted about it. But it was Khloe who actually bitched PMK out about wanting to change her name back. Since then, I've realized that Khloe is the only one of the elder three girls that tells shit like it is. Kim is an idiot and Kourtney's drama with Scott (he's a dick and she bitches about it; he tries his damnedest to not be a dick and she refuses to acknowledge it) gets on my nerves.
Khloe and Lamar should have fun in Dallas. I'm looking forward to Khloe having a city she can rule the roost in. Especially if that means that PMK loses the one chick who will blast her on her dumb bullshit... PMK will start going off the chain when Khloe moves!
Submitted by kndall44 on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 10:22pm.
Who was Khloe's bio dad supposed to be again?
When mom Kris wrote about her affair, that Blind Item said Khloe was the result of?
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Many theories. I've heard OJ whom she actually kind of looks like him and his youngest daughter. Marcus Allen and Al Cowlings are other names thrown around. The pool boy was mentioned in a blind item but I'm sure they had many over the last 25 years. Could be any NFL player or pool boy.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Monster Khloe is my least hated Kardashian. Maybe it's because she looks like a drag queen or the fact that she's not a dumb as Kim. I'm surprised she's still with Lamar so it'll be interesting (not) if they stay together after the move.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
All I gotta say is that KK better not try going an natural walking around Dallas. They will not only snipe herr after mistaking her for an enlarged Ewok, but they WILL hide the body and pretend as if she never existed.
The NRA is no joke!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Who was Khloe's bio dad supposed to be again?
When mom Kris wrote about her affair, that Blind Item said Khloe was the result of?
Ditto; when has that boy taken a cute pic...Never. How is it possible that he's less attractive then both parents?
I guess he'll seem cute compared to Khloe's baby..
I don't think she will spend much time in Texas. She would rather spend time with her family than her husband.
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England's Finest Rose
I feel bad for the folks they are going to move near.
I was one of the ones who thought their quick-minute marriage was not going to last...but they have surprised me...I actually think Khloe is the least revolting in that family...at least from the bits and pieces I have seen or read about...her sisters on the other hand...blech!
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"his ass looks like tiny people carrying torches up a snowy mountain cap." - MK
I actually like Lamar and Khloe together...they are a normal looking unattractive couple. Can you even imagine what their kids would look like? Well if you can't I'll tell you....Kris Humphries
That baby has Scott Disick face. Poor thing. Hope he doesn't also have Scott Disick brain.
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You dumb bitch, I am home.-MK
I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with the donkey.
Khole's alright, despite the spelling of her name which is.. "trying" but she's cool for the most part. Maybe it's 'cos we know she's not really a Kardashian and so therefore is more tolorable. Hopefully the distancing from the family will do her her good.. unless there's a new spin off.. "Khloe and Lamar take Dallas".. which.. *sigh*.
I'm sure his Dallas teammates will appreciate his enthusiasm. Do they have a *vacant* spot for Kris Humphries as well?
I was in Dallas this weekend visiting my brother. The weather was beautiful and when I left Sunday a cold wind had started to blow in. Coincidence? I think not!
Best news I've heard all weekend. Dallas deserves them. Imagine her trying to win a staring contest with Sue Ellen.....
I have to say this was one of the funniest posts all week. Jesus in a manger, they write themselves~!
And seriously, who the f has a SECOND CHILD WITH A NUTJOB YOU REFUSE TO MARRY? Nice values there, Kourtney. Class-ee!
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I have to laugh to keep from crying.
I do love my Lakers (shut up) and although I am sorry to see Lamar go, I will NOT miss the constant "Hi, Khloe!" messages that were texted to the scoreboard during games. I still haven't recovered from seeing "What's up Khloe and Kris?" a few times. As a fan, that shit is more embarrassing than the playoffs were.
Oh, for the love of God!! Say it ain't so... Damn, why did Mark Cuban hire this idiot and bring them to Dallas? It will be interesting to see what wannabe socialites break their necks trying to befriend the Odom's! Let the games begin...
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 9:48am.
Ophelias evil twin -- you're right, that kid is an ugly, little midget. I hate how they're always carrying the little fucker around, acting like he's cute when he isn't.
Word.
a suggestion for the midget's xmas stocking: one of them NoNo hair removal thingys I see on tv at 3 a.m. The kid's rockin a Danny DeVito unibrow and he's only a year old furrfucksake.
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 12:18pm.
Do not mess with the knowledge of the Fury.
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LOL! I was only trying to help! I'm your woman for health info!
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Dark-sided!
So my Mom watches this shit. I tried to ban her from this season, but I caught her watching re-runs this weekend! DAMN HER. Anyway, I watched with her (DAMN ME!) And I wish Kim's marriage would have lasted FOREVER. Kris throws Kim around like a football and refuses to kiss her spolied fat ass, and it's soo funny. Nothing on the show is at all grounds for the reason for such a short marriage, it just shows what a stupid cunt Kim is. And Klhoe doesn't play in to it. So I don't mind her. She doesn't seem phoney and maybe she is big and not as attractive as Kim, but she comes off as decent.
I watched this SyFy masterpiece over the weekend, "Yeti." I love when the monster rips a guys arm off and then whups him upside the head with it.
<8^O
where in the hell do you come up with these?!!!! lmfao. holy shit. even though it's as fake as a cartoon, i'm completely grossed out and cringing.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK83MoyY-HI&feature=related
Submitted by MyFingersHurt: "I'm sorry, but Mason is so ugly."
I agree.
He looks stupid and spoiled, as well.
I love most kids, but there are some who I just cannot stand, just from looking at them. This poor tyke is one of them.
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 11:22am.
...after all, try being born like that. you try and you try and you try. yet it always comes back to the sasquatch you see in the mirror.
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Ha, ha!
I watched this SyFy masterpiece over the weekend, "Yeti." I love when the monster rips a guys arm off and then whups him upside the head with it.
Go to the 6:30 and 7:47 marks; the one at 8:00 is priceless:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7JvR4znnN4&feature=related
Do not mess with the knowledge of the Fury.
Not that I am defending the beastly Khloe, but IVF has nothing to do with age, unless a woman is over 35/40. More IVF is used for younger women and is done for infertility, not age. STDs etc notwithstanding, many women are born infertile (or it develops in puberty) so it comes down to when they want a kid, rather than maternal age.
A beast under 35 is considered to have fertility problems if she has actively trying for 12 months of more (6 months for a beast 35 and over) so she says she has been trying for 2 years. This means she is likely infertile and is a prime candidate for IVF and is in no way considered "young" since youth has really nothing to do with it.
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Dark-sided!
BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!
MK and DListed posters, you have made my crappy day so much better. These comments are killing me!
I don't understand. Her body is really not fat, but her face is enormous! What gives?
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 11:11am.
Ugh - don't get me started :( Two of our key players in winning the finals...gone.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
i'll give the beast the benny of the doubt, she meant that after you get farther from being positive, you get negative.
total disallusionment and fatigue.
after all, try being born like that. you try and you try and you try. yet it always comes back to the sasquatch you see in the mirror.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK83MoyY-HI&feature=related
MissJaneTexas -- Bruce Jenner's ex, Linda Thompson, is now married to big-time music producer David Foster. She's the same ho who was rubbing up on Elvis and Bruce Jenner. She looks like an old tramp with her implants and fake hair. She recently made an appearance on the "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills."
The word is THAN you stupid fucking uneducated cumdumpster, THAN NOT THEN!!!!!!!
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Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
I'm sorry, but Mason is so ugly.
Miss Jane,
I love crazy ass Mark as well, and know this was just a wild trade that wasn't expected. And Dirk's gf really is hot!
I really wanted Chandler to stay. Barrea looks to be peacing out as well. Sads.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 10:40am
I am pretty sure Bruce Jenner's ex is married to some big record producer. They had some show about the Jenner boys and their friends where unfortunately we were introduced to the douche who married Heidi (so glad I can't think of his name). Hell that show probably launched the famewhore kardashians.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
I was somewhat kidding about Dirk. First he is dating a hot black swedish model (bitch) and he is way too low key for the Kardashian shenanigans.
I actually love Mark Cuban...I mean really as a Mavs fan how could you not?
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
every time i see khloe i think of eddie murphy - delirious
"your wife's a bigfoot, ain't she gus. you shaved the bitch down and you taught her how to talk"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awrfIReVQtA
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
that's why we loves marion. with that line, he gave back more than he took.
on a serious note, i don't think traficant was a scumbag at all, hence why i was kinda sorry i lumped him in with the others.
traficant is a legend because he speaks bluntly with an edge of humor ... he's interesting and smart as hell.
and it does seem he got railroaded by certain agencies he'd previously attacked politically.
listen to that link i provided ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcY65DAWsw4 ), listen to the end, it tells the story (and what he stands for).
dude got fucked for telling the truth and standing out.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK83MoyY-HI&feature=related
snowpiece -- so you got to run your fingers through his hair post-arrest, right? LOL!
Dog -- WHAT? Servicing men? I've never heard that! What exactly did you hear?
Meatblocks -- maybe Blago will be coming to a prison near you! They're trying to decide where to send his delusional ass.
Dallas is insufferable already. Just keep them the fuck away from Fort Worth!
@Meatblocks - Traficant may be a bigger scumbag, but Marion Barry has the best line uttered by anyone, ever, in the history of politics:
"Bitch set me up!"
LOL. what a joke.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Jewslim, yay doggehs :-)!!
Everything I know about Dallas I learned from Dallas Most Eligible.
http://www.bravotv.com/most-eligible-dallas
Submitted by Jewslim on Mon, 12/12/2011 - 10:20am.
My next door neighbor is Mark Cuban. I have a bad feeling this bitch is going to move up in my area. FUCK! Preston Hollow look out! Go to Highland Park please. Also anyone from Dallas send hate mail my way and ill gladly huck it over into his yard. HOW DARE YOU MR. CUBAN!
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The thought of them being in PH or HP is effing hysterical. (I bet they move to Plano - Willow Bend area - though.)
Not sure who mentioned Dirk, but.... he's a very low-key guy and will have NOTHING to do with any kind of publicity or drama.
Hekki, they SAY they have been trying for 2 years. In reality, they probably have only been trying for a few months. Lamar has kids already- I doubt he was in a rush to have more so quickly. Especially when they got married after knowing each other what, 6 weeks?
maybe he is smarter than we think.
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And when I think of you I stop myself from cryin’
I just can’t waste my time I must get by
Got to stop belivin' in all your lies
Cause there’s too much to do before I die
-Joe Cocker
Maybe once Khloe is out of her mother's physical range she will get some perspective. Maybe. I kind of like her. kind of.
I saw Bruce Jenner's ex on MTV Cribs "Priciest Pads". How do they have so much money??? And I got a gay vibe from Brandon Jenner. Not that there's anything wrong with it.
And re fertility treatments... Doesnt matter that she's young. If they've been trying for two years and nothing has happened, that's the next step.
Dear Dallas, I'm so sorry.
Signed
fishy
blago is the most delusional scumbag of a dingleberry and that's what makes him fun. also that he's over in chicago (far from here) helps me laugh whenever his name or image pops up.
he's more akin to marion barry than he is james traficant (my personal hero).
-the only sinilarity of the latter is that they both were sent to prison. (james did not deserve his sentence though).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcY65DAWsw4
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK83MoyY-HI&feature=related
NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I hope to NEVER see them around town. (Or maybe I will and then I can post pics for you all to snark at.)
Dallas is a culture shock from la. I actually think khloe will be fine. If it was Kim that had to move then she'd freak out as soon as she realized paparazzi weren't on every corner.
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What makes that even funnier is that at one time, Kris Humphries played for Dallas.
Dallas must love the reality. Jason Kidd came back, after they broke up the Three J's- Jason Kidd, Jimmy Jackson, Jamal Mashburn, because two of them were fighting over Toni Braxton.
twat: I met him while they were filming celeb apprentice. He's like a charicature of a politician
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky