Open Post: Hosted By The Mayor Of San Juan’s Extremely Classy Christmas Card

December 10, 2011 / Posted by:

Look at that leopard eating an antelope on a family Christmas card! Nope. Chuck Testa.

I haven’t even seen your Christmas card and I can guarantee your ass that it’s not as fucked up as the mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico’s official Christmas postcard. (Note: If your Christmas card looks like this or this, that last sentence isn’t for you.) Mayor Jorge Santini explained this Planet Earth mess of a Christmas card by saying he wanted to promote the San Juan Wildlife Museum. Um. This doesn’t promote the Wildlife Museum, this promotes fresh foolery of the highest order. I don’t know if that antelope has the look of sheer fear in its eyes because the feeling of hot death is on its neck or if it’s just terrified of that little Rebecca Black on the left eating souls with her eyes. Seriously.

Nothing says the birth of Jesus like a leopard killing a fucking antelope as a little girl shoots terror into your being. And by the “birth of Jesus” I mean SANTO DIOS! Ayúdame!

And there’s a major typo in that card. It should read: Que esta Navidad ilumine tu pesadillas!

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