Lindsay Lohan Finally Takes A Much-Needed Vacation From Doing Nothing
Posing with your Invisible Man areolas out and scrubbing dried blood off of the linoleum floors in the morgue is exhausting work, so Lindsay Lohan's probation officer let her go to Hawaii with her main homegirl Pootie (who would come in second place in a Karen Carpenter scarecrow look-alike contest) and the incredibly shrinking Ali Lohan (who would come in first place in a Karen Carpenter scarecrow look-alike contest) for a few days. I hear the coke there is wonderful this time of year.
Yes, the Photoshop slave laborers at Playboy who worked their fingers off while airbrushing Lindsay Lohan's face into another dimension clearly need a vacation since they don't have any fucking fingers anymore, but Blohan needs one to. LiLo's "Brett Butler's grandma after a 6-hour crack pipe smoking binge in a sweat lodge" face really needs some relaxation. ("But Michael, that scrag bitch always looks like that." - you "Good point." - me)
Speaking of Playboy, Hugh Hefner Twatted yesterday that because everybody has already seen the pictures of LiLo sticking out her bare nalgas while farting on Marilyn Monroe's image, they are putting out that issue early:
Because of the interest & the Internet leak, we're releasing the Lindsay Lohan issue early.Due to high demand, the Playboy issue with Lindsay Lohan’s pictorial is now available on iPlayboy
Playboy paid LiLo $1 million and probably wasted another million on Photoshopping that mess, so they were hoping this issue would be their biggest seller. I would feel sorry for Hef (not really), but I'm too busy feeling sorry for the 18-year-old blond Playmate who has to try to cheer him up by raspberrying his colostomy bag hole.
And LiLo truly is a gangsta bitch. Bitch can screw a company out of a ton of money without even trying.
• 
3rd thumbnail screams ANOREXIA...nasty
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 12/11/2011 - 10:28am.
NOW someone STOLE her purse....always the victim.
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I'm gonna guess this is just a PR stunt to create buzz, drama, publicity.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sun, 12/11/2011 - 10:28am.
NOW someone STOLE her purse....always the victim.
http://www.tmz.com/2011/12/11/lindsay-lohan-hawaii-purse-stolen/#.TuTcfl...
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"But it gets crazier -- Lindsay is due back in California court on Wednesday for a hearing about her probation. It's extremely unlikely, but if she misses her court date, the judge could find her in contempt and revoke her probation, landing her in the pokey."
She can still travel to CA from Hawaii without a passport can't she? Just another excuse not to fulfill her responsibilities... and she's had "missing passport" problems in the past hasn't she?
I can't take her shit...
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...the end
NOW someone STOLE her purse....always the victim.
http://www.tmz.com/2011/12/11/lindsay-lohan-hawaii-purse-stolen/#.TuTcfl...
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And when I think of you I stop myself from cryin’
I just can’t waste my time I must get by
Got to stop belivin' in all your lies
Cause there’s too much to do before I die
-Joe Cocker
Wow, so Lindsay gets her check and first thing books a vacation flight for her and her crusty friends? I doubt that million will last 3 months in her hands. I'll bet her landlord is stll waiting for this months rent.
These candids show just how photoshopped her spread was. Look at her thighs here, and then look at Playboy.
yeah..................
*waits for Tony P to switch screen names and come yell at me for criticizing Lohan's body, since that is ALL I EVER TALK ABOUT*
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And when I think of you I stop myself from cryin’
I just can’t waste my time I must get by
Got to stop belivin' in all your lies
Cause there’s too much to do before I die
-Joe Cocker
I'm in the camp guessing Hef leaked the photos to save face; he knew sales would disappoint; he didn't want to look like he made a bad business deal.
She burned another big bridge here. Guessing her "reality show" will be next; they'll offer her big money to do it, and she'll demand sister/mother/various hipster buddies be included on the payroll so good times can continue.
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 3:59pm.
AMEN! Can someone tell this man it's ok to retire. And perhaps retire his whole entire staff while he's at it. It's pathetic that this company hasn't found away to be part of the future. And I mean that in the most literal way - it's just sad.
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Nothing sad about it. Playboy going under will be a step forward for women. I don't have a whole lot of pity for its dudely readers, who will simply find something else to jerk it to. It'll be a whole lot harder to explain that they're just reading Hustler for the articles.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
these people are just as hillbilly as the Spears clan
and the Curious Case of Ali Lohan has transformed her attention-starved self into someone even fuglier than her nepotism-fame-sister Rumer Willis
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 7:04pm.
That avie is so wrong yet so right. I am laughing at it and going to hell for doing so.
raspberrying his colostomy bag hole"
Ha, ha, ha!
WO and her crazy husband should have kept their legs shut and pecker in their pants.
I'd hate to be the owner of the condo they "nested" in. It'll have to be burned to the ground by HazMat after they leave and the property will be cordoned off for 50 years. Is there such thing as a "Lohan" clause in insurance policies??
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Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria
Submitted by Chapped Ass on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 8:06pm.
Is that a price-tag hanging off that girl's shorts in thumbnail 3? Wow.
OMG YES IT IS! LOL after two days Dina Lohan will go back to Walmart and said, "yeahhhh my daughter couldn't fit into these, can i get a refund?"
And the store manager will say "yeh but its clearly been worn, because it has piss stains, crusted cum, smells like coke and cigarettes"
Um how come nobody noticed the glamour guy in thumbnail three?
Seriously as a gay dude, that guy can turn me straight.
He needs a good feed, bit more muscles, and maybe a dick, cuz those jeans show he ain't got much.
And Ali Lohan is losing way to much weight to be come a "High FASSSHUN" model.
How sad, that Dina Lohan is letting or encouraging her to do this so bitch can afford 100% Colombian coke instead of mixing it with laundry powder to extend it longer.
Soon or later Ali will stop having her period, her teeth will start to rot, bones will start to brittle, by the time she is 25, she will look 40. just like all the other ano girls.
This is Lindsay Lohan? Who's the freckled impostor in the Playboy spread?
You know that room smells like farts, feet, stale ciggies and dried cum...
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...the end
A Bloom County reference! I... I think I love you.
Submitted by SoulTaker on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 6:11pm.
I've said this here before but I'll say it again... Linds with her aviator sunglasses and dangling cig looks exactly like the female version of Steve Dallas.
I really can't believe how ugly and filthy these people look.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 3:46pm.
And somewhere Michael Lohan's cardiac monitor is bleeping like a mother fucker.
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Ummm...cause he's......."pleasuring" himself as he looks at them?
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...the end
Aliana doesn't look a day over 45. Lindsay's worn out her welcome and exhausted her chances at redemption...there's really no hope for her, at this point...but it's sad that she had to drag her sister down with her.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Ali isn't shrinking, she still weighs the same as always....just all the weight is moving into her lips. Guess that's puberty for ya. Somehow I don't remember that phase....
This trashy family is exactly like the Kardashians. STOP acknowledging them and they will stop getting paid!
Nasty. They look like goddamn hillbilly meth cookers.
You know, I've been working my behind off literally night and day, only to be told last week that I might get news in January that my job will be cut. I haven't had a vacation since 2004, and now I look at photos of this chick taking a break from her thieving, drugging, and disrobing. Show me where the line starts to give her the swift kick she deserves.
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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
Is that a price-tag hanging off that girl's shorts in thumbnail 3? Wow.
Dog,
Magical like the Tooth Fairy's farts!
Andrei, that was magical. Like tweeting a picture of the dump you just took. And you know that's what they do.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
damn, Ali is one gangly motherfucker.
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Hang on, help is on its way
I'll be there as fast as I can
"Hang on", a tiny voice did say
From somewhere deep inside the inner man
-Little River Band
Dog,
Yeah! Barefoot, exactly. They giggle and they ALL cram in one stall together, guys included, and laugh about "Hey, my turn!" even with the stalls next door empty. They get out crayons and write on the stall walls and go, "I DARE you to write, "Lindsay Lohan was here, bitches! Check out my new Playboy pix!" Then they do and call it the best day that ever was and write about it on Twitter. They're really something special!
Submitted by Andrei on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 7:13pm.
Dog,
LOL. Stinky flaps. Ew.
They probably sit in a Wiccan circle eating Doritos, joking about things like "You did not!" Or "Ohh.. the Playboy spread was nothing! HEHEHEH" And then they bend each other over, skinny-dip in the waves, and wonder if there are 7 Elevens in Hawaii. If not.. "Hey, lets look at dolphins!" And try to find them but wind up at a bar instead and make fart jokes and dig dirt out from their fingernails and joke about bathroom sex.
^^^^^^^^^^
These people totally walk barefoot in public bathrooms and sit down on the toilets. They also flush with their hands instead of the bottom of their shoes except they don't wear shoes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Dog,
LOL. Stinky flaps. Ew.
They probably sit in a Wiccan circle eating Doritos, joking about things like "You did not!" Or "Ohh.. the Playboy spread was nothing! HEHEHEH" And then they bend each other over, skinny-dip in the waves, and wonder if there are 7 Elevens in Hawaii. If not.. "Hey, lets look at dolphins!" And try to find them but wind up at a bar instead and make fart jokes and dig dirt out from their fingernails and joke about bathroom sex.
In thumb #5, his head and body look so disproportionate, he looks like a damn dwarf. And she's obviously keeping an eagle eye out for the dealer she called a few minutes ago.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by mike on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 6:45pm.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 6:32pm.
lol, I LOVE the avie you're currently using
---Why, thank you Mike. I know it's a bit of a giveaway, but there's no mistaking Russell Armstrong is there. I think it has more to do with the little stumpy legs than the dangling of them. Or the inevitability of his suicide, I dunno.
:)
But nada! Her stinky flaps are so saggy, if she hooked them up to batteries she could fly around the world on flap power alone.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
In thumbnail #5... Lindsay is looking for me. I am her knight in shining armor. I will go up and make her day feel like 500 orgasms in one.
LOL, Dog. But.. but!!
At least I don't have to buy this mess now, sorry Hef!
oh wait...my growth just spurted!
Ok, answer this. Lady GaGa was on Ellen on this past Friday. Said show was taped on Monday (allegedly) So this means if this broad will be on the 15th or 16th then she would have to be back filming the damn thing by at the latest this Monday, right?
#2 Didn't that Judge bellow at her she was not to leave the state for anything, including any so called modeling jobs bla bla? How does the PO have higher authority than the Judge?
Well I guess if we think about it she has broken her probation how many times and she knows the outcome. Exactly this, what she's doing.
# PH states that she left to avoid Playboy press. She's been paid right? So why the fucken shit does she not have to do the press that goes along with the job?
There is no way in hell that Dina can look at Ali and think she is healthy. Thank goodness I wasn't born a Lohan!
Submitted by Sandbitch on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 6:32pm.
lol, I LOVE the avie you're currently using
Nice to see her meth buddies got a vacay too! poor things, they all work sooooo hard.
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Don't stand on my tits, bitch!
So what she has done more than required THIS TIME on probation. she gets to go to fucking Hawaii? I thought the JUDGE said she was not allowed to go anywhere. Not for work, certainly not for vacation! Until her probation was finished.....between the Sheriff and the probation dept, this is just fucking bullshit.
And if you have not seen Lindsay's vagina by now, you have been living under a rock. She pranced around without underwear for about 2 years. We saw that nasty snatch weekly.
***********************************************
Hang on, help is on its way
I'll be there as fast as I can
"Hang on", a tiny voice did say
From somewhere deep inside the inner man
-Little River Band
Submitted by Andrei on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 6:18pm.
Lindsay Lohan is my princess in disguise! Show us that pussaaaay!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I've seen it, thanks.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I'm surprised MK didn't comment on Pootay's exquisite eyebrow game. Wonder if he had to do any extra shaving to wear those ridiculous root-hugging jeans?
The Lohans looks strung out. As usual.
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
I wonder how Holly Madison feels? Lohan got more out of Hef and Photoshop in 60 mins than she got in 8 years.
And she's good lookin.
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 3:59pm.
AMEN! Can someone tell this man it's ok to retire. And perhaps retire his whole entire staff while he's at it. It's pathetic that this company hasn't found away to be part of the future. And I mean that in the most literal way - it's just sad. But it doesn't really MATTER. Let it go, already.
---OK, so this year, Playboy have scraped up: Lohan, Crystal Harris and Kim Kardashian. They are the only blips on the d.
Yeah Angel, considering the demand for sluts is eternal, how could Playboy fuck up so bad?
SENILE DEMENTIA is what.
I'm def Including Hef's daughter. How old is she now FFS?
Dog -- I know, they look so damn dirty. That dude with the jeans hanging halfway down his dick looks like he reeks. I think Ali is airing her crotch out in that one picture with her leg up. And you can bet money on it they had group sex. Icky nasty!!!
Lindsay Lohan is my princess in disguise! Show us that pussaaaay!
Submitted by Dog on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 6:02pm.
As a kid who grew up in northern California in the 70s, I have seen a number of hippie communes and everybody in them looked much healthier and happier than the Lohans.
Heck, even Matt Damon as Homeless Dentally Challenged Dude looks happier and healthier than a Lohan.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Submitted by Migraineuse on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 4:51pm.
Submitted by dementa on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 4:34pm.
I wish there were some way of convincing everyone in Hollywood that usually the hair color you're born with is the one you look best with.
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Aesthetics isn't their main concern, social capital is. Blond hair = high status.
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Yes I am a natural brownie, but did the blond thing for a few years. Now I was not platinum blond, but blond yes. It didn't look bad on me or anything but it was too much money and maintenance so I just recently switched back over to the dark side (hehe). I do like myself with brown hair more. It was funny though, one of the little boys I will randomly babysit for told me (after about a week of having brown hair) that he liked me before with blond! I was already still adjusting to it, and he tells me that! Oh well.
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"Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding." - Eric Cartman
❥