Friday, December 9th 2011
Lindsay Lohan's Spread Leaks
Lindsay Lohan and Playboy jumped Marilyn Monroe's image in a back alley and all of the pictures from that tragic event have already leaked a week before they're supposed to come out. You can get it (NSFW) here, here, and here. It's way beyond Photoshop. It's a blond Pete Burns painted in velvet. If the Chinese guy at my deli, splattered himself in orange paint and threw a dusty white wig on his head, he'd look more like Lindsay Lohan than Lindsay Lohan does. Those pool noodle lips (the ones on her face) looked better on the Rocky Horror Picture Show poster.
As WOW Report said, "It's Amanda Lepore!" Well, Amanda Lepore with disappearing nipple plates.
(Thanks to Chelsea and Jonathan)
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You would think that all of these pictures would be A+++++ quality. There is straight up sexy and then there is trying to be sexy... Where did they hide her crack pipe? Can Waldo find it? Maybe Sam Ronson with a strap on would have worked better.
the power of michael k compels you!
the power of michael k compels you!
Each of the photos is perfectly posed to be a particular man's cum pic.
"In picture A, you are doing me in the ass. Ohh, daddy, I like that.
In picture C, I invite you to cum on my breasts.
Here is another ass shot, you manly man..."
It's all about the blow up doll. Marketed for the international male who dreams of , but is intimidated by, Blondes.
She's the American Dream. She's dead, or synthetic, or otherwise harmless.
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The Americas - Occupied since 1492.
Too bad they didn't photoshop a decent ass on her to replace those two flat tires she has as ass cheeks. Nasty. I'd hate to see that shit in 20 years.
The tits are nice, though, natural or not. They look natural enough, so it really doesn't matter.
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"You gonna give me my car, or do I gotta go to your house and shove your dog's head down the toilet?" Repo Man
She has nice boobs, i'll give her that
I seriously CANNOT imagine lying around nakie. It already took me a while to get comfy around my boyfriend
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"Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding." - Eric Cartman
❥
http://thegirlwiththeblog.com/2011/12/10/lindsay-lohans-playboy-comments...
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Who else thinks that the photographer muttered "Smile for me, Coco. Arch your back a little" throughout the session?
the pictures look like crap, and I liked her better when she had the pretty red haired ann-margret thing going on, but still, I'd kill for that body and the opportunities this girl started out with.
looking at her now brings instant sads.
Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 9:09am.
Marylin Monroe was a big fat ugly whore.
Just sayin' :)
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I think I love you. lol
Haha, PSL! I ain't mad at it. The Angeloonies were getting kinda boring. This is way more fun!
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
Holy shit, she looks like she's being photographed by some creepy rapist in some cheap motel. I know this is Playboy and they have lots of money to throw at these shoots.... but she looks dead and used up, and the whole thing looks incredibly cheap and tawdry.
As for Marilyn, I'm not a huge fan (I'm more an Audrey Hepburn person), but she was by all accounts a sad, lonely person who didn't deserve to die so young.
As for Blohan, I would say this is rock bottom and she'll be dead in a month, but really, we've been saying that for a few years now. She keeps finding new lows, and her eyes keep getting deader.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
angel, you so mean! hahahhahah
that jesusKisses person is seriously disturbed. wow.
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Hang on, help is on its way
I'll be there as fast as I can
"Hang on", a tiny voice did say
From somewhere deep inside the inner man
-Little River Band
Submitted by JesusKisses on Sat, 12/10/2011 - 7:46am.
5 million dollars.
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So LiLo costs less than MM's 50 year old dress.
Well, that's AWESOME!
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
Marylin Monroe was a big fat ugly whore.
Just sayin' :)
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
Submitted by strange_owl on Fri, 12/09/2011 - 10:08pm.
She looks SAD and confused in most of these, both emotionally and physically. The pics seem low quality and the set, wig, etc., cheap as hell. I don't have sympathy for this entitled monster, but this shoot actually disturbs me. There's no one behind those eyes.
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+1
Yeah - agree with those that say it just evokes sadness. She's not 'there' in those pics. I could have understood a photo shoot that really showed Lindsay. BUt I suppose she and everyone else just has no idea who the hell that even is - and if they do - it's not exactly fap friendly.
If it is a boob job, which I don't believe, it's fantastic. She has lovely breasts - though why they've airbrushed her areolae in most of the pics I have no idea. And so much of it is so obviously photoshopped. She's not that lush with her curves anymore.
I agree with whoever said she's probably spent the $1M on drugs and veneers (unless her mom has already spent most of the money herself, which is possible).
Totally unsexy and pathetic photoshoot. This girl has hit a new low. We get it, Lindsay - you think you're "the new Marilyn." Well, you're the only one. No one else thinks this at all. Give it up.
Why do I feel like the 'spread cover' isn't the only thing that leaks with her?
Mk, please buy this mess and post the entire issue so we all can have literally weeks and weeks of fkery fun with it? Kthx
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"...To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others' minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shit through each others' eyes..."
-Eminem, "Beautiful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgT1AidzRWM&ob=av2e
I think the Monroe thing is waaayy ridiculous and so overdone it's like the real Marilyn Monroe didn't exist. For shame. And if Lindsay really believes that being confident with your body makes one happier... then why not be yourself and not a dead actress? Or is she trying to say she herself is gonna be dead soon?
But, other than the obvious wig, I think the photos look pretty good. She needs more emotion in her face, but I'm fine with it all.
She looks like she doesn't even know what planet she is on. This shiz is so pathetically going for Marilyn, but all I see is Dana Plato. Heff needs to take the Depends off his head and put it back on his stupid, stupid hiney.
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
Her tits are perfect. This udder crap is pathetic. To hell with fake boobs.
I knew the photos were going to be bad. I did not know they would be this bad.
50% of the blame lies with the photographer. Just WTF. Double-yew Tee Eff.
The wig. Why? It's a bad wig. It is obviously a bad wig. So why?
The lighting. We know she has freckles, so why bother whitewashing her?
Her inability to emote a single feeling is the kicker here. She looks more scared than anything, with bored coming in a close 2nd. Those vacuous, empty eyes. I'm pretty sure that is the antithesis of sexy.
The posing. I realize she is desperately trying to emulate Marilyn (again), but sweet baby jesus, you can practically hear the photog coaching her every single move. Stiff, unnatural, and really very sad.
True PSL...we have seen the freckled flapping firecrotch before. This pictorial just looks so old though and really she could worn some 1950 bloomers already!
i swear if i put on a blonde wig, one of those "boobie" aprons you buy from the $2 shop, id look more like marilyn monroe than lindsay.
For you Mani:
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 12/09/2011 - 6:34pm.
who hasn't seen her vagina? she was underwear-less for about 2 years, and we saw it on a weekly basis.
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Hang on, help is on its way
I'll be there as fast as I can
"Hang on", a tiny voice did say
From somewhere deep inside the inner man
-Little River Band
The picture where she is on one knee on the couch and showing her ass (pic 10 down on the first link) is the one that makes me look at her with sadness. 7 years or so she was on top of the world and now she is posing like that. Sad.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
At least Dana Plato showed rug...nice tits though. And really she could have just posed as Lindsay...enough with MM.
There is something very sad about this whole thing. I can't even think of anything smart ass to say.
Submitted by sonah22 on Fri, 12/09/2011 - 9:59pm.
Why are "udders" getting so much flack? Is having perky breast implants the norm now? And in my experience, men have been attracted to my "udders." By that I mean like, when they're hanging down lol. Okay, that part is weird to me, but this is a men's magazine, and you ladies need to stop hating on your own flabby parts.
Team real looking boobies!
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ITA. Real breasts have a bit of sag. I think people are getting too used to the fake look. It's sad and I've been guilty of criticizing celebs for their boobs looking saggy for their age too. I think sometimes it might be just a genetic thing, but other times, breasts sag a little more than normal due to other factors like wight fluctuations, and from a lack of wearing a bra. Her breasts look normal to me especially for someone who never seems to wear a bra.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
She looks SAD and confused in most of these, both emotionally and physically. The pics seem low quality and the set, wig, etc., cheap as hell. I don't have sympathy for this entitled monster, but this shoot actually disturbs me. There's no one behind those eyes.
Why are "udders" getting so much flack? Is having perky breast implants the norm now? And in my experience, men have been attracted to my "udders." By that I mean like, when they're hanging down bent over and all that. Okay, that part is weird to me, but this is a men's magazine, and you ladies need to stop hating on your own flabby parts.
Team real looking boobies!
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"How to give yourself a golden shower medal: lay down face up, find a way to piss up into the air and turn around really fast so the golden shower lands on your nalgas. -MK
WTF!? No pics of the big pink stink?
Not even worthy of a spirited self-flagellation session.
the DUDE! abides...
She doesn't look like Marilyn Monroe or herself. Just a fake ho in an old ho house.
The boob job is obvious, imo, just by comparing photos of her at a heavier weight with smaller boobs. Now she's a stick with big boobs.
The boobs look OK but the nipples are tiny. I thought guys liked big nips. Guess not too much can do about that.
Whatever.
.
.
Honestly, I think she looks pretty good and it's pretty tasteful. I don't find it fap-worthy - not dirty enough - but them again I'm not a guy but it's better than I expected.
I still think she is a total scumbag, but objectively speaking the spread wasn't as much of a shitshow as I thought.
I agree with the dlisters who believe they are implants. She's one of the few celebrities who has a great boob job. In my opinion, they are tear drop implants placed under the muscle, which makes a big difference. I also believe they are "settled", hence, the natural look. I got under the muscle implants 10 years ago and mine look very similar to Lindsay's. I was at the doctor's office a few weeks ago for a routine physical and the nurse commented on how real my implants looked and wanted to know details (surgeon's name, how much they cost, the manufacturer of the implants, etc). Just my 2 cents...
She STILL thinks she's Marilyn Monroe. Guuurrlll... seriously, I'm telling you this for your own good: you are NO Marilyn Monroe. I'm as straight as a rail and Marilyn's photo shoot, of which you've attempted, poorly, to copy, make me twinkle in my naughty place just a little bit. Your photos just make me sad. Imitation is NOT always the highest form of flattery, kid. Be yourself. With clothes on. It's enough, believe me. It's enough.
And until Lindsay GETS that, she's always going to be a train wreck in Loserville. Countdown to Death Watch.... I wonder if CNN has prepared their Lindsay Retrospective prior to her death (they've famously done this before, and gotten caught).
Jeez, this girl is pathetic. Good thing we have Emma Stone and Jane Levy to fill the gap while Lindsay continues to destroy herself and her career. She doesn't seem to realize, we don't NEED her anymore.
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I AM on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. -- Carlos Estevez
(Haven't read 240+ comments, because.... glass of Riesling....so...)
That is some terrible photoshopping! The slope of her 'waist' makes it seem like the bunny nose is hiding serious birthing hips. And her everchanging aereola size is too funny.
And where is her collarbone?
What a craptastic cover!
Submitted by akpetmom on Fri, 12/09/2011 - 4:39pm.
So if Lindsay truly follows in Marilyn's footsteps we still have to put up with her for another 11 years!
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LMAO!!
Gwen Stefani does the Marilyn look best!
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"One does not simply walk into the Open Post. There is fuckery there that never sleeps..."-Sans Fards
Ughhh...the Marilyn Monroe thing has been done to death. All the pics look fake and photoshopped but it's not like the guys fapping to them are going to care
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 12/09/2011 - 1:47pm.
I was hoping she'd be ass up with both hand pulling her cheeks apart. I wanted to see her rusty sheriff's badge.
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Hahahahaha! So wrong! *dead*
Besides...if I wanted to see a ginge minge, I'd pull my knickers down and look in the mirror lol
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Her:"I bought sparkling wine. Let's have girls night!" Me:"I would rather put a cigarette out on my clit." - Slashleen on Twitter
yawn, I hope this is the final nail in Playboy's coffin
Arg....in the 7th pick her feet are 5 sizes different.
And where are her areolas??? She doesn't have them till the last pic.
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Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria
So this was her chance to create an iconic playboy spread all of her own and what does she do, badly copies someone else's! For fuck's sake, she can't even do this with even a hint of her own personality, maybe because she hasn't got one?
Odd, is all I can say. Overall, the pictures make me feel a little sad.
Is it just me or is the 6th pic just disturbing? In the upper pic her left leg seems to be some inserted leg of a young deformed child. Something straight out of "American Horror Story"
AND the second image in the 6th pic has The Cracken's legs fused together like a mermaid, as someone else pointed out.
Guess the Photo-shoppers where working endless hours trying to get it better and finally gave up.
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Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria
Submitted by FabulousDivaBuns on Fri, 12/09/2011 - 4:30pm.
Hey Darth she wasn't the married one they were breaking their vows if that's the case. Stop holding women responsible for men's sex drive. This just shows how stupid you are. She didn't have Daddy issues she had DADDY MOMMY AUNTIE and Sex abuse issues. jesus you sound like a manifestation of devolution
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Well, she is responsible for her OWN sex drive. Keep it in your pants if the only people you want to sleep with are married.
ETA:
Submitted by FabulousDivaBuns on Fri, 12/09/2011 - 4:17pm.
Marilyn never saw her full potential because she was dead by 36 how many of you are over 36 and haven't done squat leave her alone.
It's interesting when a white man like heath ledger dies everyone is soooo sad. When it happens to a woman she's a slutty crack head. He was a crack head to, he had a nice family and was filthy rich so why don't you have a go at him? Have you seen clash by night with Barbara stanwyck and Marilyn? She was a great actress just type casted. Marilyn wasn't dead in the eyes she had an inner beauty and was plenty beautiful on the outside before her surgeries she was just insecure from never having parents and being abused. LAY OFF her tackle the real beast. It's easy to try to defame a dead woman who can't defend herself while you sit your sorry buts in your Birka lounger with your shasta cocktails. Have some manners and get some class.
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In case you haven't noticed, we make fun of a lot of dead people here. This is D-listed, where nobody is spared. People had plenty to say when Heath died. They aren't saying it here because this isn't a Heath thread. Climb off Marilyn's corpse and move on.
just saw the pics. the boobies are alright and whatevers in one of the pics. but the hell with her not having legs in one of the pics lol. is she a mermaid???!!!! ahahahahahaha
Coma Caca!
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who hasn't seen her vagina? she was underwear-less for about 2 years, and we saw it on a weekly basis.
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Who me? A tease? Brother, please
You're just having bad memories
About some skeeze who did the squeeze
And had you on your hands and knees
-Salt N Pepa
Submitted by rotten_egg on Fri, 12/09/2011 - 3:29pm.
She does have a nice set of boobies, fake or not. Other than that, she's nobody and a fuckup and her playboy spread sucks.
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Outside of an A cup, most boobs droop to some degree. I'm begining to think that everyone has gotten so damn use to seeing plastic boobs that are unaturally round and gravity defying that real ones look ugly to them.
I wish Lohan would give up trying to convince folks she is Marilyn Monroe. She isn't even close. Michelle Williams is closer to MM and she can act. I'd rather see her as MM in a Playboy spread.
(Hey Hef, why in the fucking world did you want to see a naked Lohan in the first place?)
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by Hellraiser on Fri, 12/09/2011 - 6:22p
I think the shape of her breasts are nice but I agree with you about the nipples. The nipples are really pale and tiny and look like dude nips on woman tits which is kind of off-putting.
As far as seeing her open vagina maw...no thanks. Don't need to see it.