Kris Humphries Doesn’t Want To Talk About The Kardashians
Good Morning America gave you a visual answer to the question “What would an interview with a caveman statue from the Museum of Natural History look like?” when they interviewed Kris Humphries today. Despite the fact that GMA pretty much promoted this interview as “Kris Humphries finally breaking his silence on his marriage to Kim Kardashian,“ he wanted to talk about anything but the butt. Kris was there to bust out brain farts about basketball, basketball, baking cookies with his mom, basketball and basketball. But GMA’s Josh Elliott could give a Khloe Kardashian dingle about basketball and kept bringing up his joke of a fake marriage.
This interview was almost more uncomfortable than me watching the nurse try to keep a straight face while asking me a bunch of questions before my STD test. Since I know you don’t want to sit through a 5-minute video of Josh Elliott and Kris Humphries talking from totally different pages, here’s the transcript. I typed it out word for word:
Josh: So Kris, how’s it going?
Kris: Basketball.
Josh: What has this experience been like?
Kris: Basketball.
Josh: A lot of people found the divorce filing shocking. What did you think when she did it?
Kris: Basketball.
Josh: You responded by filing for a legal separation and an annulment. What do you hope the court will decide in regard to the annulment?
Kris: Basketball.
Josh: Do you still love her?
Kris: Basketball.
Josh: What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Kris: Basketball.
Josh: Kris, tell me, what one object would give a more exciting interview than you?
Kris: Basketball.
Josh: Thanks for that, Kris. Who would you rather? Kris Jenner or a basketball?
Kris: Basketball.
Josh: Just one more question before I let you go, Kris. Your IQ is that of a….
Kris: Basketball.
Josh: Wait, wait, just one more thing. Please don’t say the word “basketball” again. PLEASE! I beg of you.
Kris: ………cookie.
Josh: Thank you!
Kris: Basketball.
A source tells TMZ that as soon as the interview ended, Kris was whining about how he felt he was set up. Kris only agreed to go on GMA after they promised to only stick to questions about basketball, his obesity foundation and cookies (nobody tell Kris that cookies and obesity aren’t exactly friends). But a rep for GMA says they made it clear during the pre-interview that there would be no rules.
Is Kris stupid enough to think that GMA’s focus wasn’t going to be about his marriage to Kim Karkrashian? Wait. Here’s a better question: Am I stupid enough to actually ask that last question after watching Kris be the epitome of dumb during that interview above?