Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 9, 2011 / Posted by:

Welcome to Florida, where a video of a trickster squirrel pulling a fire alarm is real news. (Note: I shouldn’t say shit, because in New York, the local news’ top story for three days has been Alec Baldwin getting kicked off that plane for refusing to curb his Words with Friends fix.)

School officials at Blackburn Elementary in Palmetto, FL recently reviewed security camera footage from the day they had a false fire alarm, because the local fire department was about to throw a fine at their asses. What they found is this sneaky ass squirrel climbing up a wall to pull the alarm. The squirrel has been squatting in the school’s kitchen for months. They have since caught the squirrel, and let’s just say, that if your kid goes to Blackburn Elementary, you might want to tell them to stay away from the “chicken” nuggets. No. The school says they released that squirrel back into the wild.

Where the hell was this squirrel when I was in school? I had to give the performance of my life to get out of class. I had to basically channel Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas by moaning about how my stomach is about to explode out of my asshole and shit. And this squirrel just has to sashay in and pull a fire alarm? I guess there comes a time in every dumb bitch’s life when they realize that a squirrel is smarter than them. I bet that squirrel just smoked a joint in the boys bathroom and wanted to give the weed smoke some time to clear so he caused a diversion. Well played, squirrel.

And a clip of a furry squirrel pulling on a bright red knob is the closest I’ll ever get to watching a Prince Hot Ginge sex tape, right?

via Buzzfeed & MyFoxTampaBay

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