Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

December 7, 2011 / Posted by:

While the members of this famous family certainly resemble each other, there is one family member with a unique physical characteristic that differentiates them from their more famous sibling/s. There have been rumblings about this for a long time, but it has finally been confirmed by parent to child: that the child is, in fact, the product of an affair one of their parents had long ago. The child did not take the news well, and really resents having been lied to all these years. Given that certain members of the family tend to selectively overshare, it will be interesting to see if this information is ever publicly revealed, and – if it is – how it will be spun. (Blind Gossip)

Pimp Mama Kris lit this shit on fire again when she whored out an excerpt from her book where she wrote about passing her poon to a producer named “Ryan” (not Gaycrest) while she was married to Robert Kardashian. Kris had this affair a year before Khloe made the small woodland creatures scatter by letting out her first roar. So the dates add up.

As Khloe looks out her bedroom window and sings “Soooooooomewhereeeeeeee out beneath the pale mooonliiiight,” Knobby the Sasquatch (aka “Ryan“) is howling out the same song while sitting on top of a mountain perch. I really hope that Maury, E! and the Discovery Channel are working on a Kardashian Paternity Special Spectacular.

People break up and get back together all the time. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t.

Then there’s the case of these two good-looking people. They have both been on TV regularly, but in two very different roles. They were together. Then then broke up. Now they’re together again. Did they work things out? Is it true love after all? Nope. She’s pregnant. And, with all his other troubles, the thought of being a husband and a father is more than he can bear right now. But he’ll play along until he figures a way out of this.

No wonder he’s been such a jerk lately. Then again, scratch that “lately” part. He’s just a jerk. In fact, she has a reputation for being a bitch, and he has a reputation for being an asshole. So maybe they are perfect for each other. (Blind Gossip)

Kristin Calamariwhatever and Jay CUNTler?

This could be very awkward. This pair of celebrity couples are best friends. They hang out all the time. Each member of the celebrity couple is actually a celebrity. One married couple features an A list comedian and the other celebrity couple features an A list television host. So, what happens when the husband of the television host is sleeping with the wife of the A list comedian? Can they still hang out? What about the new project the comedian and the host are working on together? Will that still happen? Do they know? Apparently not yet. (CDAN)

Two options:

1. Kelly Ripa (A list television host), Mark Consuelos, Jerry Seinfeld (A list comedian) and Jessica Seinfeld?

Or

2. Kathie Lee Gifford (A list television host), Frank Gifford, Joel McHale (A list comedian) and his wife?

The second one is just my wishful thinking making a #2.

Which C-list actor – best-known for co-starring in a popular blockbuster comedy franchise and who now does mainly voice-over work – doesn’t accept his cross-dressing brother-in-law? The tiny funnyman wasn’t amused when his bride’s sibling showed up in a dress and heels to their wedding so they made him change into a suit and tie! (National Enquirer via Blind Gossip)

It’s hard for me to guess, because the space in my head is currently being taken up by the image of Miss Lawrence from RHoA snapping all over this blind item.

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