You Know The Recession Is A Real Thing When Even The Queen Gets A Pay Freeze
Prince Hot Ginge can no longer tiptoe into his grammy's bed chambers in the middle of the night to sneak a few quid (I'm speakin' British!) out of the pocketbook she clutches onto when she sleeps, because there's not going to be anything in there anymore! The sport of extreme couponing is calling The Queen's name, because her pay for being THE QUEEN!!! has been frozen until 2015 and she'll only be given $50 million of taxpayers' money to pay for travel expenses and palace upkeep. NPR says that Prince Charles will have to reach into his own pocket to pay for Princess (serious typo and it's not moving) William and Duchess Catherine's household staff. GOD (in the form of a sale at Tesco) SAVE THE QUEEN!
NPR reports that shit is getting so dire that the Queen is considering renting out rooms at St. James Palace during the Olympics next year. HA. St. James Palace is turning into a flophouse. Can't you just imagine coming down the stairs late at night to drink tap water from the kitchen faucet and you see your landlady, Queen Elizabeth, sipping canned wine from Bargain Booze while knitting mittens out of her Corgis' hair to sell on Etsy. Book me a room, now.
And before you go on and on about how Queen Elizabeth is nothing but a welfare leach, stop yourself. If England wants Queen Elizabeth to show up to stupid weddings and national events, they have to pay to play. Queen Elizabeth does not change out of her housecoat for her health. I mean, my abuelita refused to come out of her bedroom for my birthday party unless I promised her the corner piece of my sheet cake. #getmoneyqueen!
Or England can just fire Queen Elizabeth completely and replace her as the "Face of England" with Jodie Marsh, because that trick will work for bootleg HGH injections and a box of gently used condoms.
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Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:15pm.
Does she EVER smile? I mean seriously, if I had such an easy life I'd grin from ear to ear 24/7.
I don't think her life is that easy. nothing ever comes for free, particularly tens of millions a year. I would really hate having to smile and wave at morons all day and having to behave like there's a broomstick up my ass 24/7. you know she is dying to bust a queef in public.
She's got some sessy fuckin cankles right thurr.
*pinches Ms.Fit's nalgas*
Momus I had no idea! Now that's a REAL woman. *swoooon* http://all-that-is-interesting.com/queen-elizabeth-ii-serves-as-a-mechan...
Years of inbreeding and living off taxpayers would make our Appalachian brethren our royalty.
I have a few money-saving tips for Lizzy.
#1. Get all your hat shit at the dollar store. Nobody will know the difference.
#2. Throw PHG into the renting deal, I might consider it then.
#3. Release Camilla back into the wild. A Clydesdale like her must be hell to feed and board.
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A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11
YAAAAAAASS! -Sage Khia
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:14pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:09pm.
Submitted by force noir on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:04pm.
I'd drop a few coins to see her change the oil on her Rangie before setting out to Balmoral!
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Since she was a truck mechanic during World War II, she probably could change the oil in her Rangie.
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This! She's one tough lady and has done a great deal for her people and morale. So she gets 50mil from the government for palace upkeep. Imagine how much of that they get back in tourism and how much they'd lose if the Royals were no more.
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Abso-fuckin-lutely!
They would indeed lose loads of mullah.
Still, she could take up a part-time job assembling axles at the plant. Get home late, crash on the sofa with her stockings half-mast, bottom shelf gin on ice, and catch some Catherine Tate.
"I got your number, hussy." --Ms. Dionne Warwick
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:14pm.
This! She's one tough lady and has done a great deal for her people and morale. So she gets 50mil from the government for palace upkeep. Imagine how much of that they get back in tourism and how much they'd lose if the Royals were no more.
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Sorry, but I don't buy it. The "great deal" she's done was nothing more than her obligation, considering how well she's paid and how most of the time she does FUCK ALL. And take London, for an instance. With so many museums, historical sites, beautiful buildings and a kick-ass nightlife, does it REALLY need the royals to attract tourists? It's not like there's a major royal wedding every year, dude.
ETA: And while the Queen might not be a total cunt, 90% of the royals are, and those are also financially supported by the common people.
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"Most people are average, neither black nor white. They're gray. A dirty shade of gray." - Dmitri Shostakovich
I can't really piss on the Queen herself. She was born into her role and whether you believe in the monarchy or not I think she herself has served her country honourably and with great class.
Her shithead kids are another story all together. They have done the most damage by bringing scandal after scandal to the Monarchy.
LMAO @ Sweetas & Jacko dental benefits *dies* clutch them pearls, Queenie!!
How is it that her Queeenhood owns billions in land and property, but she lives off tax payer's money?
Hahahaha Cuppy!
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:14pm.
I like Lilibet. She's is down to earth and does not meddle in the politics of the realm. She knows that her place is to promote the UK and to promote various charitable works. Her descendants, however, are a different breed of Corgi altogether.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Does she EVER smile? I mean seriously, if I had such an easy life I'd grin from ear to ear 24/7.
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"Most people are average, neither black nor white. They're gray. A dirty shade of gray." - Dmitri Shostakovich
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:09pm.
Submitted by force noir on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:04pm.
I'd drop a few coins to see her change the oil on her Rangie before setting out to Balmoral!
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Since she was a truck mechanic during World War II, she probably could change the oil in her Rangie.
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This! She's one tough lady and has done a great deal for her people and morale. So she gets 50mil from the government for palace upkeep. Imagine how much of that they get back in tourism and how much they'd lose if the Royals were no more. ______________________________________________
McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
I have to leave in a few minutes to drive home and I don't wanna because you guys are killing me! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cheerio and all that rot!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
If I was a brit I would not pay taxes. fuck take my money to give a inbred family millions!?
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
I have to leave the offices, I can't stop crying!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Everyday is derby day ovah there. & her pocket books are da bomb. Lol.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by force noir on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:04pm.
I'd drop a few coins to see her change the oil on her Rangie before setting out to Balmoral!
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Since she was a truck mechanic during World War II, she probably could change the oil in her Rangie.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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*scoff* I think the Queen would undoubtedly agree that 'welfare' only applies to minorities receiving government funds.
Hell, she's got billions stashed in the all the UK tax haven islands, just like all her fellow super-rich pigs.
I've always heard that the only thing that's ever in her purse is a pack of cigarettes.
Must say she's always done the royal-dignity-n-dowdiness thing excellently. Whatever she's wearing always looks great, and of course she's a virtuoso of hats.
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
The Queen will actually have to recycle an outfit?!?!? Have to wear an outfit more than once? OMFG! THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*snickers*
*skips out of thread*
Hahaha. Fucking hilarious post.
I can see it now, too: La Queen saving bacon grease to spread on stale bread and making huge batches of leek and water soup. "This is how did during the WORRRRR!"
I'd drop a few coins to see her change the oil on her Rangie before setting out to Balmoral!
"I got your number, hussy." --Ms. Dionne Warwick
TEAM QUEEN
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
The Queen's been saving money for years on her shoes, she's had this pair since 1958
I appreciate the Queen being down-to-earth about it.
Argentina has been acting aggressively in the Falklands recently. I'd love to see a bitch fight between the Queen and President Kirchner. Hopefully Prince Harry gets deployed and we get some BS heroic story about him saving puppies or whatever for MK to fwap to.
I've hated her ever since I found out King Henry took my family castle away when he beheaded my Aunt Anne Boleyn. It was then I realized all their money came from taking property away from people.
And yes, I come from a long line of money grubbing whores. And I want Hever Castle back dammit.
O NOEZ! ONLY 50 MILLION?!? HOWEVER WILL SHE SURVIVE?!?!
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
TEAM LET THEM EAT CAKE
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
How about cutting even MORE costs and just fucking firing the entire royal family? It's the 21st century, FFS. They're basically useless.
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"Most people are average, neither black nor white. They're gray. A dirty shade of gray." - Dmitri Shostakovich
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 1:45pm.
LMFAO. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Well cry me a damn river.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 1:45pm.
Did that dude leave the hanger in his suit or something?
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hahahahahahahahaahhaaa!!
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 1:40pm.
Let's hope they don't cut costs from the people's dental plan benefits....
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How can they cut what doesn't exist?
Maybe they are running out of oats to feed the Duchess of Cornwall.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Did that dude leave the hanger in his suit or something?
The Brits, in my American opinion, should also stop paying for needless ceremonies such as all the pomp needed to open Parliament. Some of the ceremonial hoopla is a big tourist attraction (e.g., changing of the Guard at Buck House) that brings money to the U.K. but who actually gets to see the Garter Ceremony except for the Trooping of the Colours?
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Oh no! No more priavte planes, only 50mili until 2015...heavens to megatron how will they survive?!! Now excuse me while I go hide my car cuz I think the repo man is coming today...ugh that poor poor family #bullshit
Love her because everybody next in line is so inferior. What other world wide figure is going to create such a fuss when she passes. Not even the Pope.
ahahahahaha jacko! *high five*
speaking of welfare, here is a story that made me see red yesterday. Enjoy.
http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Welfare-fraud-investigators-raid-...
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
Let's hope they don't cut costs from the people's dental plan benefits....
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
$50 million a year, I spend almost that much on Kmart's bladder control pads!
It's a sad day when the Queen has to clutch her cultured pearls. :(
Queen Elizabeth is the richest woman in the world. She tried to stick it to the British taxpayers to help fix up either Windsor Castle or Buckingham Palace (I forget which one) after a fire but they revolted to the point where she decided to pay for it herself.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
the queen's welfare check took a cut...how will she survive?
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
W. T. F. They pay her MILLIONS just to be a figurehead Queen? So Britians never gonna be the worlds superpower.
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
We live in a piss-shit world obsessed with piss-shit people who are only famous for being pissed/shit on.
Thank you, turd politicians who happily let this recession keep going on. I'm no fan of royalty, but come on! This is RIDICULOUS.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Um. Ok.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011