When Jesse James opens his mouth, either words of shit or a tattooed genital wart he accidentally swallowed while licking on his skank-of-the-moment falls out. Last night, the former came out of his talk hole. The moment absolutely nobody was waiting for happened last night when Vanilla Gorilla returned to reality TV on a show that should’ve been called American Shit Talkers instead of American Chopper: The Build-Off. Because instead of spending all of his time building stuff, VG threw shade at the woman who was supposedly the love of his life. VG said in so many words that marrying Sandra Bullock turned him into a fake Hollywood husband and now he’s sorry for that:
“I became a big shot and married some Hollywood actress and didn’t talk to anybody anymore, so I feel bad. . . I feel obligated to reconnect with all these people and show ’em that I’m still the same fabricator motorcycle guy. I’m not what I became.”
Isn’t this the same “some Hollywood actress” that helped raise his daughter while her mom was off being a mess? Well, it must be freeing for Vanilla Gorilla to know that the world no longer sees the “loving husband” shell he was hiding in and now sees him for what he truly is: a complete asshole. Good for you, VG. And VG didn’t talk to his biker friends because of Sandra Bullock. VG literally couldn’t talk to them because his mouth was always full of tattooed labia.