It's Official: Madge Will Bring Her Thrusting Granny Poon To The Super Bowl
After weeks of rumors, NBC officially announced yesterday that Animal Planet won't be the only ones who will have a pussy spazzing out during their halftime show. Madge will pop her crotch and put censors on labia slip watch during the Super Bowl XLVI halftime show on Feb. 5 in Indianapolis. Prudish parents better have a good explanation ready for when their innocent snowflake asks, "Why is a charred firework snake sneaking out of that old lady's bloomers?" While those parents look to the Witch of Endor section in the Bible for an explanation, you can read the full press release:
MADONNA, a multi Grammy Award-winning Universal Records recording artist, will perform in the BRIDGESTONE SUPER BOWL XLVI HALFTIME SHOW on NBC at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis on Sunday, February 5, the NFL and NBC announced during tonight’s Sunday Night Football game between the New Orleans Saints and Detroit Lions. Madonna’s performance will be imagined by CIRQUE DU SOLEIL and JAMIE KING. The Bridgestone Super Bowl halftime show is the most-watched musical event of the year. More than 162 million viewers in the U.S. watched last year’s show. The Super Bowl and halftime show will be broadcast worldwide. Madonna joins an esteemed list of recent halftime acts that includes The Black Eyed Peas, The Who, Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Prince, the Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney and U2.A world class entertainer, singer, songwriter, producer, director and video visionary, Madonna has sold more than 300 million records in the course of her three decade career as The Material Girl. She is a Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee. Her last tour was the most successful tour by a solo artist in history. Madonna is currently in the recording studio working on a new album scheduled to be released next year. Her new film W.E. which she directed, wrote and produced is opening in a limited one week release December 9 in Los Angeles and will open nationally on February 3, two days prior to Super Bowl XLVI. Madonna has partnered with a creative team from Cirque du Soleil, Jamie King, and multimedia artists from Moment Factory, to create a signature performance for the BRIDGESTONE SUPER BOWL XLVI HALFTIME SHOW. This year marks the fifth time Bridgestone Americas has sponsored the Super Bowl halftime show. The tire company’s new brand campaign, fittingly titled “Time to Perform,” will debut during the game. The BRIDGESTONE SUPER BOWL XLVI HALFTIME SHOW is an NFL NETWORK PRODUCTION and will be executive produced by RICKY KIRSHNER and directed by HAMISH HAMILTON.
Wait. Hold my dildo. This press release changes EVERYTHING. Thee Ja'mie King of Summer Heights High will imagine this show? Finally, the robot shit stain left on the Super Bowl from this year's dreadful Black Eyed Peas show will be wiped away with Ja'mie's signature hot moves:
And here's Madge throwing a not-so-subtle TAKE THAT to stache waxers at the screening of her movie W.E. in NYC last night.
• 
Whatevs, I watch the Puppy Bowl and Kitty halftime on Animal Planet.
I think I speak for most of us when I say that I would much rather watch the frisbee dogs at halftime than this dried up crypt keeper. And great, another halftime that the kids can't watch.
Is it an optical illusion or in that pic is she wearing some kinda makeup to enhance the definition of the muscles in her thighs?
and another reason i don't watch football arises.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Thrusting granny poon.
Didn't even make it past the post topic before I was laughing my ass off.
Energizer Granny is relentlessly coming to a television near you.
Madonna at Super Bowl?
eh
Submitted by SpiceDong on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 1:31pm.
It didn't get canceled after one season. He only makes one season. Every couple of years he parodies different things. Most recently he did "Angry Boys" which was a parody on how the gangster and ghetto white trash Australian kids act.
10 points for the Summer Heights High Reference!! yes!!!
Oh God. the only reason to hope the steelers don't make it this year.
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Don't stand on my tits, bitch!
Submitted by dementa on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 1:12pm.
I desperately hope she does something horribly embarrassing.I hope she tries to one-up Janet Jackson.
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Yassssss. While crotch-thrusting, Madonna suffers a wardrobe malfunction and her thong flies off, mesmerizing the country with an epic beaver shot.
Who's with me? Anyone?
*crickets*
Summer Heights High = funniest shit of all time
Sarah Smile
Submitted by Manimal5 on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 3:10pm.
I'm sure if Vadge really tried she could squat down on a football and thrust a field goal like nobodys business!
Go Vadge!
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Thank you, dear sir, for that sphincter-tightening image.
And for you:
http://extraordinaryintelligence.com/files/2009/12/judas-cradle.jpg
Submitted by the original be... on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 3:02pm.
Love that avie photo.
I'm sure if Vadge really tried she could squat down on a football and thrust a field goal like nobodys business!
Go Vadge!
Well, MK, you made me laugh so hard I scared both cats AND the toddler. Thank you. Thank you berry much. I needed that! And that header pic.....there's just some shit I don't need to see. (Do you think she has a clitordick, a la Chyna?)
Also (and I mean absolutely no offence here), is Ja'ime (or whatever) a dude?
Hi Preciousay.... I think Lola's "mother" is very strict. A quality that her own mother did not have?
Wow. Her face looks terribly "maneuvered." Hmmm... And she's my age. All that money... can't buy youth. Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
Umm..when was the last time we had a good halftime show? Because I think they are just fucking with us now. I can't remember the last decent halftime show to be honest.
She looks good from afar. And I really like her jacket.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
I'll take a Madge half time show.. anything will be better then the Black Eyed Peas snoozefest
-New girl here- Hi everybody, love your comments they are freakin hilarious!
Now onto the Madge Vadge and Stache smashing....
How does she keep her poon lips from flopping out of her leotards, not even gymnasts can keep it from moving from side to side? She's amazing in that aspect. heh.....I think she folds them over and rolls them up or something. Hmmmm *thinking* Ugh no more mentals!
Oh and poor Lola got her Mother's porn stache going on. Will her mother ever let her wax that thing off?
Meh. I know I'm in the minority, but I enjoyed Springsteen and Tom Petty's shows, Prince's too. I'm sure Madonna will try to do something *shocking* but it's Madonna and we've already seen her do shocking. She'll have to bring a damn donkey show out onstage to top herself.
And PLEASE no more covering other artists' songs during the halftime show unless you've done it before and know you can rock it. Sweet Child o' Mine died a horrible death during the halftime show last year.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Mk needs a "Your Eyes Are Dead" tag.
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The Americas - Occupied since 1492.
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 12:17pm.
WTH is that Summer Heights High thing? too funny!
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It was a cable show...lasted one season and got canceled...I can recall if it was HBO or Showtime.
bits of it look funny than the hole thing actually was. Centers on a guy that tried to be the male version of Tracey Ullman. In this clip he is playing Ja'mie the bitchy mean girl.
OT: Vadge and Circle Du Soleil...que original...NOT!
That peen needs some Miracle-Gro! - Bwhit19964
JLO must be using his entire body as an anal plug - Hellraiser
oh good I can take a nap again...cause last year the Black Eye Dumbdums bored me to tears, and now this muscular granny, no thanks...just more over the top dance moves and pyrotecnics, and fake sex, and just yawn...I am already way over it.
Who the hell books this shit. Cuz ya know when you think 'football fan' you think Madonna. Billy Idol FTW.
I don't care. I got love for Madge. And if she comes out with another european techno dance album I'll jam to that shit too.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
I desperately hope she does something horribly embarrassing.I hope she tries to one-up Janet Jackson.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Shouldn't it be "granny winner."
Madonna - when your face carries THAT much hair it's time to EAT A SAMMICH! OMG.
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
Are they going to incorporate Bridgestone into the performance like jLo/Fiat? Her dancers maybe cut up old tires fashioned into kneepads, chaps? Is she going to scream "Super Bowl show, brought to you by Bridgestone, b*tches!"
I hate football, but I would SO watch this...25 years ago....
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If you ever need someone to drink with, I'll drink with you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll drink with you. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I love to drink!!!
--Karen Walker
Fuck this dried up, dusty old cougar. Like anybody but a bunch of fat divorcees trying to relive their teen years actually give a shit about this fucking chupacabra.
And fuck the Superbowl. The annual football game played for the benefit non-football fans who haven't watched a game all year and know fuck all about the sport. The conference championship games are always way more competitive and entertaining.
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
Christ, imagine that Predator-looking thing standing over your bed. She must make you shoot diamonds out of your ass when she gives you the best blow job of your life because why else would a dick risk it's life to go near that?
This is one of NBC's/the NFL's stupider ideas. The Black Eyed Peas at least appeal to a certain brain dead section of the populace. I have no idea where they think Madonna's appeal lies - she's not really a MiLF (too sinewy and old), no one under 35 gives a rat's ass about her and her music (except possibly for certain gay males), and she just makes older het folks depressed (ie, some 45-year-old guy would rather ogle Beyonce and dream about his 25-year-old glory days than remember Madge in her plump heyday).
I suppose they were convinced that Madge is the female equivalent to Springsteen or Prince. Um, no.
Seems fitting that the show is presented by BRIDGESTONE...Old rubbery bitch is probably made from the same material...pot meet tire...
Throw in BritBrit as a guest and you have my attention...If not per usual I'll be refreshing dranks and snacks and taking a dump...
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
If Vadge hates hydrangeas, wait till she visits Indianapolis. And by "visits", I mean, helicopters in and out, not even staying a day.
And I can say this, bc I live here and it blows.
Boston Bruins-- Stanley Cup Champs 2011
Janet showed her titty, your move Madonna.
Will definitely watch.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Courtney Stodden on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 12:11pm.
She could be my Man!!!
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Who couldn't? Whore!
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
WTH is that Summer Heights High thing? too funny!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
i can see madge's mustache in the last thimbnail...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
She could be my Man!!!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Hey darlin', I know you think my love is slipping away
But baby it's all in your mind
Don't worry, hold on tight and hear me when I say
Baby it's all in your mind
-Mariah Carey
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! This site is taking forever to load today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Couldn't give less of a crap about the Superbowl performance - but I have to say that except for the fuzz face issue, the crusty obnoxious old whore looks pretty good in these pics.
i used to love the half-time shows. only fucking thing that made football worth watching. well that and copious amounts of beer. but fuck, last year with the black eyed peas was beyond horrible. now this old whore pretending she can still sing? fucked up. no thank you.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
the Packers and Madonna????
fuhgeddaboudit!
I know MK loves Ja'mie but this bitch is my favorite.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zV1zK8zRCPo
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McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-