Angie's Head Floats Onto Newsweek
That damn St. Angie is all over the Internet today. Everywhere I go, there's Angie. I go to NoAngelinaJoliesAllowed.org and that bitch is there. She's everywhere. There she is walking around in a dress the color of the shit that does not come out of her ass. There she is daring her period to come while escorting Ms. Pitt around like a trophy. And here's Angie getting swallowed by the black (Note: "Angie getting swallowed by the black" is going to be big on Google keywords this week, so I'm trying to get ahead of the trend) in the pages of Newsweek.
Angie is doing all of this to sell the shit out of that In the Land of Blood and Honey movie. She's flaunting it everywhere and I'm still not going to see it. Sorry. I wouldn't even see it if she renamed it In the Land of Nuttin' Honey and re-worked the plot to be about a couple going through a painful divorce because one of them answers "Nuttin' honey" to every single question the other one asks. Okay, I'd watch it then and only then.
St. Angie isn't only all over the Internet, she's all over TV too. Angie was on Nightline and they asked her if she was going to ever marry Brad Pitt. Obviously, the journalists on Nightline are serious journalists and only ask thought-provoking questions that nobody has ever asked before. Angie answered:
"The kids asked me the other day and I asked them if it was just because they wanted to have a 'big cake.' They see movies that have the people getting married in the movies or somebody's, you know, the happily ever after. Shrek and Fiona are married. We’ve explained to them that our commitment when we decided to start a family was the greatest commitment you could possibly have. Once you have six children, you’re committed."
I think what she really meant is that once you have six children, you should be committed because you're absolutely nuts to have all those screamers around.
You know, I believe that you should always be honest with children. If anyone can take honesty, it's children. That is why it was wrong for Angie to blow smoke up their asses with that "blah blah blah greatest commitment blah blah" bullshit. Angie should've sat them all around and honestly said, "Mind your own fucking businesses, will you? Why make the cow sign a prenup when you can screw the milk for free, or however the saying goes. Now go get mama her liquid medicine and then lock yourselves up in your bedrooms. SCAT!" Now, that would've been honest.
Submitted by heima on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 4:49pm.
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I hate when people do this, because most celebs have plastic surgery they see plastic surgery where there isnt any.
She didnt get her jaw done, jeebuz!! She gets older and is way skinnier, when you get older you loose collagen. Her jaw looks more angular, because of that, not because she had it widened!! No woman would widen her jaw. If she gained 20 kg, her jaw wouldnt be as sharp looking. My bfs jaw also looks more angular when he looses a few pounds.
She always had mega big lips even as lil girl jsut like Shiloh does now, god even her brother does. And that includes the upper lip, she didnt need to enhance shit.
Thats why fat people, mostly look like they dont even own a jaw.
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Wow Allesssssaaaandro McGosling.
That hand. No.
UGH! Angelina and Brad bore me to tears. I hate their movies, hate the hype and I think they are nothing special to look at. Her cracked, anus lips gross me out.
*shudders*
Submitted by Allessandra on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 2:25pm.
Dont think so, she always had very nice outstanding cheekbones even in the tomb raider poster you could see them, now they stick out more because she is way thinner. I actually think her lips are natural if you see her pics from when she was a lil girl she always had those very big lips, so does her brother and Shiloh.
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I beg to differ. The shape of the lips do not change, with age they become thinner but their overhall appereance is the same throughtout a person's whole life. In AJ's case instead, it's clear to me that the lower lip has been reduced, while the upper lip has been plumped. In fact the shape of her lips now is more balanced than before. Yes she was born with puffy lips, but the surgeon made them more pleasant on the eyes, although I prefer the ones she was born with (they kinda looked like mine).
As for her cheekbones, the loss of baby fat makes them more definite, but again, the apple is more protuding under her eyes now then before, see for instance that her temples appeared more large in her twenties than they are now. Compare two pictures of three-quarter AJ's profiles and you should see what I mean.
Finally I have the suspicion that the jawline has been reshaped, it wasn't so squared before, a weight loss would make it more angular, ok, but not wider.
I'm not against plastic surgery, unless it creates monsters, and she can do whatever she wants with her face and body. But do not pretend that she's different from the resto of Hollywood celebrities.
Submitted by heima on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 10:24am.
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Dont think so, she always had very nice outstanding cheekbones even in the tomb raider poster you could see them, now they stick out more because she is way thinner. I actually think her lips are natural if you see her pics from when she was a lil girl she always had those very big lips, so does her brother and Shiloh.
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Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 10:52pm.
Wow Allesssssaaaandro McGosling.
HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT !!!!
voodooCHILD
STOP IT WITH THE GODDAMN LAZY ASS REMARKS ABOUT MARRIAGE ANGELINA. FUCKING GODDAMN JUST DO IT ALREADY IF YOU'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.
I hate this woman. A LOT. Go fuck your dead bodies and blood vials, lady.
Long time reader, casual poster here. For the life of me I can't understand why J Aniston has to be dragged into every thread concerning Angelina Jolie. "Angelina is really ugly here" (I agree) - "Oh yeah, well Aniston is uglier than a wart, look at her chin wah wah wah!!!"
The woman has been cheated on and ultimately divorced from, but she never made a snarkier remark than saying that Angelina isn't a very nice person. Release the hounds, the woman is obviously a sociopath...Give me a break!
She's beautiful but she should stop plumping her upper lip, it has come to the point it looks like a slug. Plus, no way she was born with those cheekbones, remember her face in Tomb raider's days; it was as flat as Keyra Knightly's chest.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 8:54am.
Allesandra, she is a beautiful woman. But she looks like hell lately. She needs to gain some weight back. 15 lbs and she will look youthful and pretty again. Now she looks haggard as hell.
You can't deny this. Come on. I am not being mean, there is no hatred behind my comment. She looks really bad nowadays.
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I had said in other threads many times, that she does need to gain weight, but I still think that she is really beautiful, especially in this pictures.
She is without a doubt way better looking with more meat on her.
With candid pics, Michael K does always chooses the shittiest one, but he does that with all celebs so...
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Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 10:52pm.
Wow Allesssssaaaandro McGosling.
She has reached insufferable level 10. And the smug smirk she has while walking with pitts mommy, you cannot convince me that bitch doesn't know what she's doing.
Go away angiejo and take your freaky hands with you.
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
She looks like a walking tibia.
Carry on.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Allesandra, she is a beautiful woman. But she looks like hell lately. She needs to gain some weight back. 15 lbs and she will look youthful and pretty again. Now she looks haggard as hell.
You can't deny this. Come on. I am not being mean, there is no hatred behind my comment. She looks really bad nowadays.
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They can't succeed in taking my inner peace
They can say all they wanna say about me
But I'm gonna carry on
I'm gonna keep on singing my song
please. check out pics of her from gia and tomb raider. it's so obvious she's had quite a bit of work done. and she's a phony. the media is kissing her ass for reasons unknown to me. most people i know could care less about her 'directing' debut which i'm sure she got a lot of help with.
the last thumbnail ... Why does she have the hands of an 80 year old with arthritis? She should tuck those claws under her ass and avoid having them photographed ...EVER!
"The Mummenschanz should be suing her, too."
Should've known one of the Dlisted bitches would steal my joke. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Sarah Smile
Does she really believe her own fluff? STFU, Jolie!
It's the biggest commitment they could make...raising 6 kids? Oh this bitch needs to step into reality at some point. How many people enter into marriage with the best of intentions to raise a family together? FUCKIN' MILLIONS! Why does she think having kids without the marriage is any different? Having children together may keep you committed but that doesnt guarantee happiness. She would be no different than the divorced people that have to share custody of their children - if her and Pitt were to break up. And what about her commitments to two of her marriages? Vows and commitment mean shit to her. Same goes for Pitt. They act like these kids are the glue which will hold them together forever. Yeah - like a ball connected to a chain. Pfft. She needs to come up with a different script on why her and Pitt dont marry. Even her children probably see through the smoke and mirrors. She's boring in every interview. It's been 7 years - why do these morons continue to ask her when she'll marry. They should be asking her - when do you and Pitt plan on raising the kids with zero help? How's that for a reality check!
And her face looks butt awful while showing NO chin. Nasty.
Oh come on Mrs. PC, this slut deserves a big fat STANKfish title!
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK
The last thumb looks like her head got caught in the branches of an old dead tree.
I see that alot on dlisted, reality is being bend and denied just because of hatred..arghhhSubmitted by Allessandra on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 7:00am.
You have clearly NEVER been to celebitchy or justjared. There is no reality over at those sites when it comes to the BRAND-gelina worship.
Submitted by liverwurst on Tue, 12/06/2011 - 5:05am.
WTF would a brangeloon comment about Aniston's chin when their idol has the the jaw of a jackal?
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Angelinas head is totally tilted plus its all black around her there by accentuating the jaw, I dont even wanna imagine Aniston in this type of lighting and with her jaw tilted, it would probably rape me trought my pc screen.
By general beauty standards she looks great here, only mega haters would deny that. I see that alot on dlisted, reality is being bend and denied just because of hatred..arghhh
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Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 10:52pm.
Wow Allesssssaaaandro McGosling.
WTF would a brangeloon comment about Aniston's chin when their idol has the the jaw of a jackal?
Don't know if it's been said yet, but ...
... DAMN that's a big burly jaw!
Yeah, I'm late to the party, but:
I can't with this thieving plagiarist ho. I begin to despise her almost as much as I do Chuckyface.
Go cash in on some other humanitarian tragedy, Ms. Goodwill Ambassador Ho.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Pic needs more Elmo.
We hope something VERY BAD happens to this old fish....the beard to homosexual tinymeat brad pitt.
she should have played the evil queen in one of those snow white remakes. thats what she reminds me of here. i was over her four years ago (altho i love the face she's making in my avi) and this picture is photoshopped to hell. so meh. whatever.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
Her lips look as though they've just been through a 24hour labour & given birth to a gigantic 100 pound baby.
Fuck, her face looks amazing here, great facial structure, ah those cheekbones!!!
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Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 10:52pm.
Wow Allesssssaaaandro McGosling.
oh, PUKE.
Has she no shame.
.
.
Does she have a light side other at all? Gd! So tired of her dramatic so serious bullshit. Did she say she sat her kids down and discussed commitment verses marriage? Couldn't she have made a damn joke about it. Gawd loosen up corpse!
Submitted by BaconSlut on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 6:12pm.
Can someone use this pic in their avi? Only have the hand moving so that it slaps her face over and over and over again? I don't know how to do that shit, but would love to see it.
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I'm not very artistic, but I took a stab at it, here:
http://postimage.org/image/97cr4sqrv/
The real star here is the brilliant plastic surgeon.
Submitted by Andrei on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 9:35pm.
Crawford:
Good point, though. I don't think the photos themselves are bad. Her "man hands" aren't sleek and smooth and super feminine and I'm okay with that. To me, women don't have to be one way or another. Maybe the ego we all snark about probably wouldn't be so frowned upon if she were male? If for instance she was a man who had a weird past with questionable lovers... I don't feel like the hatred would be as bad. Or maybe I'm wrong. Just making social commentary as someone who had a Psychology of Women class not long ago. Because, really, women are just not as highly respected as men are in many fields.
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If she was a man and had admitted to having male lovers in the past, "he" would not have had the career AJ has. People would say he couldn't play a credible romantic lead opposite a woman, that he was too poufty to play an action hero, etc. And in his personal life, he'd be accused of reverting to the closet by settling down with a woman and having kids.
here's one way angie can improve her hands:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDEg8LeP9sE
try lux--only lube is better!
I bet she treats them like in the movie "flowers in the attic" she looks like mean bitch, i mean mom
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Mother: Stop it! You have no right to talk to me like that! Do you think I've had pleasure while my children have been in pain? You are heartless. When you're ready to treat me with love, I'll be back.
Chris: I haven't stopped loving you, Mom, I MAKE myself keep loving you every day, despite what you do to us. "Flowers in the Attic"
Really? so if I just pluck some random child out bum fucked no where, dress them in gray and have some fob-ish Asian chick following me around everyday, Ill find commitment and happiness?
Bitch looks like if she ate a piece of cake she would immediately go into diabetic coma.
"I go to NoAngelinaJoliesAllowed.org"
Why did this not link to Jen's homepage?
Crawford:
Yeah, I agree. I don't much care for the way Angelina had her kids' photos on mag covers. They didn't ask to be famous. That is my biggest gripe with her.. that and I don't trust that she's all humanitarian. Though, that aside, her so-called scandals (like her supposed stealing of Brad from Jen, which she may well have, I dunno) just seems pale in comparison to other shit I've read about celebs. Just saying. I think it was just highly reported due to the fact everyone knew who Brad Pitt is.
How was that again? Kids mean commitment, marriage means no commitment. Too bad, nobody enlightened what's her name Kate Gosslin or something. She has 8 children, yet her man run away. But I guess the magic number must be 6. Anything more or anything less, and men just take off.
Im sorry to any of her fans on here, but she has always been a drugged out slut in my book, and no matter how many kids she has or how much money she claims to give to charities, she still is.
The top pic reminds me of that big floating head on Power Rangers. Zordon, the Head of Dessssstiny!!!
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
I think she has a beautiful face..no denying that .
Submitted by Callie on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 9:48pm.
The first shot is almost identical to a Garbo pic 80 years ago.
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If you ever need someone to drink with, I'll drink with you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll drink with you. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I love to drink!!!
--Karen Walker
I'm honestly surprised she stopped at six (kids, that is). And now that the news is coming out that she copied that "Blood and Honey" script verbatim from that dude's book, I really don't buy her humanitarian earth mother schtick.
She's beautiful nonetheless, though...some bone structure.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by Crawford67 on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 9:24pm.
This is a great shoot. Not everything has to be snark. These pics hark back to Garbo and Dietrich...also strong females with strong features.
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This definitely reminds me of those old Garbo shoots.
Submitted by Spaz de la Whoreta on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 8:24pm.
Thank you for that link.
Pretty telling that he wouldn't even sign the adoption papers. That actually makes me like her a little bit. That she said 'fuck it' and made a child's life better.
Submitted by vidz on Mon, 12/05/2011 - 8:46pm.
....TyTy would be jealous!
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Ha! EXACTLY what I was thinking. How much you wanna bet Ty's hated her forever lol.
And I miss the Angeloonies too...I was wondering today how long they might have the strength to care. ha.
♥ Threadkilla!
"God gave you breath to waste. Waste your breath!"
Angelic, Bad Girls Club Season 7
Hot Youtube Vid Description: "have something dumb to say ? comment and see if i give a dam !" by KayyRosee1
Andrei:
In the olden days, all of the movie stars were involved in just as many scandals, but without an internet to let us know what they were doing. Certainly, the males got off most lightly. One of my points about Jolie is the similarities of her being able to be photographed. Look at some Clarence bull photos of Garbo, Crawford, Dietrich...they have the same haunting beauty on film.
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If you ever need someone to drink with, I'll drink with you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'll drink with you. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I love to drink!!!
--Karen Walker
We’ve explained to them that our commitment when we decided to start a family was the greatest commitment you could possibly have.
She forgot to add
Ask Daddy about his first marriage. He's through with commitment. He wants a fast exit when he finally bails.