Open Post: Hosted By Nicki Minaj's Contoured To Hell Nose
The story goes that one night Geppetto carved a Fran Drescher figurine out of a Bronzer stick and then the MAC fairy floated in and brought it to life with drops of Lil' Kim's saliva before naming it Nicki Minaj. I know that story. So I am well aware that 98% of Nicki is made of whatever they put into foundation, but the shit she did to her nose last night was still uncalled for. Nicki is making Mr. Potato Head's nose look like something that was born from nature. That shit looks like it's made of zebrawood. When I look at a nose, I should not have the overwhelming urge to dust it with Pledge. I can't even fully hate on her uncooked Top Ramen noodle wig, because I'm too busy staring at that white skid mark on her nose.
Nicki is known for bringing the cunt on hos who fuck up her beauty, so her makeup artist better hide somewhere nobody goes (example: The Lil' Kim section of iTunes..... I don't mean that. "Not Tonight" is my spirit song).
Here's more of Nicki at last night's Billboard Women in Music Awards in NYC. Taylor Swift was also there looking like a substitute middle school choir teacher from Whoville.
• 
Speaking of Kim, i am pleasantly surprised how likable her husband Kroy is on the show. He seems to be really nice and genuinely care about that "33 year old" (cough, cough)
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Yes, Mud, you are!! (Everyday should be our birthday, right?)
Get to cracking on that paper, just take breaks.
Hi All!
And Cap, so sorry to read about your gamma. My sincerest condolences. Lighters up to Gamma...
Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 9:09pm.
Happy Birthday, Mud!
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Lol. Am I the new Becky?
*clutches balls*
.... kim zoliak's mom is hawt!
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK83MoyY-HI&feature=related
nevamind the nose shade, i'm getting a 20 ft shot with a 2 foot large armpit full of zitty things.
HDpc ... oh fuck no!
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK83MoyY-HI&feature=related
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 9:02pm.
Awesome! Good to hear.
Happy Birthday, Mud!
Submitted by mike on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:51pm.
louise mentioned tvgasm's recaps, so I started looking around and saw this recap of an episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Check out the family pic with the young Kim Zolciak (it's toward the bottom of the post).
http://www.tvgasm.com/recaps/real-housewives-of-atlanta-recap/
*clutching my invisible pearls*
Oh my lord. Is Kim the product of carnies? Her dad really has that, "I used to run the Tilt A-Whirl" look about him.
Submitted by mudtutle on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:19pm.
Any thoughts?
I belong to a knitting group and we make prayer shawls for anyone at our church on in the community that is in need. It has totally taken off and we always have just a few on hand at any given time. Definitely go for it!
Submitted by mudtutle on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:19pm.
I want to make quilts and blankets (I am a sewer...as Bjork refers to me, "Memaw"). I want to make them to give to either the Kosair Childrens Hospital where my son was for a month when he was born, the Ronald McDonald House...
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What EH said is good. You can start a non-profit, but there are many, many really good established orgs desperately needing help and have an established distribution systems.
The hospice program is excellent. They gave my mother a beautiful quilt in her final months. It brightened her last days. She was a quilter too.
It's a nice thought. I don't think you can go wrong whenever you decide to give.
(Cept if you're givin out free to johns who need to be payin ;)
.
.
.
First quick view and I registered "Paris Hilton has modified her look".
@Mike
Yes!! We found a boy kitty named Ninja at the shelter. I got to meet Ninja`s Fostermom and she was able to give me some insight on his personality. So around the 15th, we will get him. I ll be off for two weeks over Christmas, so i think it`s a good time to bring him home and get him used to everything.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:53pm.
Any luck on the cat front?
Ev`ning folks. What`s going on in these lower chats?
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by Chapped Ass on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:36pm.
Chalk is a lost medium.
Chalk it up to paranoid people with an ax to grind. Don't sweat it.
Not sure if you're a toker but I'll blow some good stuff your way just in case.
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:27pm.
I think us younger peeps really need to reach out to our elders and make an effort to make their life comfortable in their later years. Just imagine yourself if your lucky enough to get that old and how you would want to be treated. Right? Sometimes we have to put ourselves in other people's moccasins and realize that if we abandon our elderly, we too will be abandoned in our elder years if that's the example we give.
Too deep? Maybe. I think it's basic humanity.
louise mentioned tvgasm's recaps, so I started looking around and saw this recap of an episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Check out the family pic with the young Kim Zolciak (it's toward the bottom of the post).
http://www.tvgasm.com/recaps/real-housewives-of-atlanta-recap/
Submitted by little_rascal on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:33pm.
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Yeah, I thought so too.
Hugs, Cappy. My heart is with you, it truly is. But as you pointed out, she's no longer in pain. Much love to you and yours.
"A candle loses nothing of its light by lighting another candle."--catholicschoolgirl
Submitted by little_rascal on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:33pm.
If I can crack anyone up at my age, it's probably because I'm old as snow and creaky as a frail roof in a wind-storm. :)
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:02pm.
OH LORDY. The recaps. *cringes*
Those mothers are all either fat or fugly or both too. It's like they are slutting it up vicariously through their. . .
FIVE YEAR OLDS.
Good gravy. WHY? WHY?
One mom was like, "I don't like how the coach tamed down her sexy moves".
:( Total mind F*CK.
Submitted by Chapped Ass on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:30pm.
You're cracking me up, Fraggle.
Submitted by mudtutle on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:19pm.
Wow. That's an awful lot of work, Ms. mudtutle but, then again, every little bit helps.
Were you thinking of giving your blankets directly to the Hospitals or trying to raise money for them?
Ebay is a great way to go and so many people would be happy to not only have a hand-made heirloom quilt but know that some of the money was going for a good cause.
Well, you just brought a tear to my eye. What a sweetheart you are. I hope your creative endeavors are a success. I wish I could sew but all I can do is a hand-stitch for mending. I'm terrible with sewing machines.
@Muddy-
You could probably lend your services out to an already established non-profit like red cross or your local womens shelter. Talk to a coordinator there and ask them if they'd be willing to distribute your quilts to homeless women or victims of disasters and stuff like that.
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
We live in a piss-shit world obsessed with piss-shit people who are only famous for being pissed/shit on.
Triple
Submitted by Darth Stoner on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 7:55pm.
It IS sad. And I am so glad that she gets to go home soon! But I am making the same resolution as you! Senior people do need special care. And it just takes a few people to make sure they get it.
Double
Why when a black girl gets famous she always runs out and buys the nearest blonde wig and blue contacts?!?!?!
People, I am kicking around the idea of creating a little non-profit org. I want to make quilts and blankets (I am a sewer...as Bjork refers to me, "Memaw"). I want to make them to give to either the Kosair Childrens Hospital where my son was for a month when he was born, the Ronald McDonald House that we stayed in, children in my area who have none, or a combination of the three. Maybe not even a non-profit, just some sort of vehicle to give, even if it's only me making them one at a time and giving them.I know it sounds a little crazy, but I want to do it. Any thoughts?
My husband just informed me that "Great Googly Moogly" was originated by Frank Zappa (God bless his pea pickin' heart for helpin' the old lady out):
http://www.metrolyrics.com/nanook-rubs-it-lyrics-frank-zappa.html
:)
You're right, I'm sure it goes way back before that show. That's just what popped into my head when I read your comment.
Thanks for the good thoughts for my brother :)
Ohhhhhh! The "Great Googly Moogly" reference.
Damn. I really AM slow (and admittedly tired).
I'm not really sure where I picked up that silly reference and I think it dates further back than that children's show (but, I could be wrong, of course). :)
P.S. I hope your brother is hanging in there. It's obvious you really love and care about him. Not all siblings give two flying poo flings about each other.
Submitted by Chapped Ass on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 8:01pm.
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The Beast's signature expression is "Great googily moogily."
Submitted by Chapped Ass on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 7:51pm.
Oh I know. They are ridiculous and messing up their kids.
I read the recaps at TVgasm more then I watch the show. They are hilarious and the recapper would fit right in here.
http://www.tvgasm.com/category/recaps/toddlers_and_ti/
PSL, thanks for asking :). Well I finally saw him yesterday. He looks okay, way too skinny but okay. So he's not addicted to heroin (Thank GOD) but he did go the er Thursday for the same crippling stomach pain he's been dealing with for years. Turns out his lower intestine, a five inch section, is inflamed and infected and has been for about two years. The doctor, who had been through the same condition, says that my brother has probably been self-medicating for years (he worked ten hour, six-day-a-week days and never made time to go to dr) and that's how he got addicted to pills. The doctor said it's going to need surgery so he does not end up needing a colostomy. So I guess it's taking care of that first, then the addiction.
Just between all of us, I contacted the show "Intervention" because I'm so worried and I want him to get REAL help. They contacted me back. But I haven't told anyone yet because I know my mom will never go for it.
***Sorry for the book.***
Aw. fanks, Cappy! I just read back. I'm sorry about your grammy. :-(
((BIG HUGS))
I have to go but I'll try to BBL.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by mudtutle on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 7:53pm.
Do you watch "Maggie and the Ferocious Beast"?
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Sorry, I had to google it (cheated). That looks like a cute kid's show. Was there a corollary in there somewhere with regards to the pageant kids? If something went over my head, forgive me, I'm not always as quick as you all here.
Submitted by Dog on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 7:52pm.
Cappy, a tranny named Spears is suing a tranny named Kardashian! This stuff writes itself!
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*still rolling around lmaooo; hopes the Sasquatchian tranny comes out of its shell and rages and roars at the Spears tranny; loll; commissions the shipping of extra writing paper for the continuation of this fuckery
Dog, you always make my damn day/evening/whatever
eta http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2rhsgOgItc&feature=related "Outlawed Tunes" for you all, yesserie!
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"...To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others' minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shit through each others' eyes..."
-Eminem, "Beautiful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgT1AidzRWM&ob=av2e
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 7:36pm.
Your story about your grandma just broke my fucking heart. Damn. That's some Shady Pines shit.
:( I need to volunteer for some old folk's home. That's going to my New Year's resolution come hell or high water.
Submitted by Chapped Ass on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 7:51pm.
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Do you watch "Maggie and the Ferocious Beast"?
Cappy, a tranny named Spears is suing a tranny named Kardashian! This stuff writes itself!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Event Horizon on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 7:25pm.
Nicki's face is always stuck in that bat-shit-crazy expression.
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Her, Aguilera, Brit, Mindy, Guidice's, Lindsey, Elizabetta's, etc. We can only hope they all get a table together at some posh exclusive club on New year's eve and get smashed.
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"...To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others' minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shit through each others' eyes..."
-Eminem, "Beautiful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgT1AidzRWM&ob=av2e
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 7:43pm.
Honestly, I watched 4 episodes of that shizzle on demand yesterday while I was rushing around doing chores and I wanted to punch every one of those mothers in the uterus. Honestly, one episode made me so upset I broke out in tears because that child was so effed up in the head.
The whole idea that these children are judged by their 'beauty' at such a young age is beyond sickening. I can only imagine the new crop of young women coming out of that lifestyle that we will be 'graced' with.
Great googly moogly.
Submitted by Dog on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 7:38pm.
Chewbacca is getting sued! AHAHAHA! Fuck the Kardashians!
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20550936,00.html?hpt=hp_t3
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Doggg, and 'Spears' is the representation??!?! Come on?!!! "...Papers filed by Spears...." omgloll
Instead of Kramer vs. Kramer, this is Crayzay vs. Crayzay.
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"...To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others' minds
Just to see what we'd find
Look at shit through each others' eyes..."
-Eminem, "Beautiful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgT1AidzRWM&ob=av2e
Submitted by Chapped Ass on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 7:35pm.
I'm sure they make them for adults. Not that I've watched Toddlers and Tiaras or anything*, but I've heard all you have to do it make impressions and sent away for the flipper.
*What???!? Okay, maybe an episode or two.
A tranny named SPEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
A tranny suing a tranny! It just keeps getting better!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Chewbacca is getting sued! AHAHAHA! Fuck the Kardashians!
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20550936,00.html?hpt=hp_t3
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Darth Stoner on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 7:13pm.
I hear you on that! My Grandma had a minor heart attack right befote thanksgiving and is now in a nursing home for rehab. The care that those people get make me SICK! And if you call to report it, no one cares. The food that they serve there is so f'ing bad. My Grandma won't eat it so she will request a sandwhich, which is so dried up and old. People bitch about school lunches, but I dare those same people to check out the local nursing homes meals. I have to bring my grandma food that will stay ok in her room or i'm afriad she'd starve to death. And it was basically the same conditions at a different nursing home when she broke her hip last year. Pisses me off.
And speaking of Grandmas..
Cap6..I am so sorry for your loss! I'm sure your Grandma is a peace, but i'm sure it's still hard for you none the less.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 12/03/2011 - 7:31pm.
Is she wearing a Toddlers and Tiaras style flipper? Because those teefs look odd.
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THANK YOU! I totally concur. Do they make those for adults?
Chreeist. What do her normal teeth look like then? Two knock-out fighters goin' craaaaaaaazy?
hahahah Dog.
okay, i am off to work again. Later!
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Forget your troubles, come on get happy
You better chase all your cares away