The story goes that one night Geppetto carved a Fran Drescher figurine out of a Bronzer stick and then the MAC fairy floated in and brought it to life with drops of Lil’ Kim’s saliva before naming it Nicki Minaj. I know that story. So I am well aware that 98% of Nicki is made of whatever they put into foundation, but the shit she did to her nose last night was still uncalled for. Nicki is making Mr. Potato Head’s nose look like something that was born from nature. That shit looks like it’s made of zebrawood. When I look at a nose, I should not have the overwhelming urge to dust it with Pledge. I can’t even fully hate on her uncooked Top Ramen noodle wig, because I’m too busy staring at that white skid mark on her nose.
Nicki is known for bringing the cunt on hos who fuck up her beauty, so her makeup artist better hide somewhere nobody goes (example: The Lil’ Kim section of iTunes….. I don’t mean that. “Not Tonight” is my spirit song).
Here’s more of Nicki at last night’s Billboard Women in Music Awards in NYC. Taylor Swift was also there looking like a substitute middle school choir teacher from Whoville.