Unless your name is Lamar Odom, then you obviously love hippos more than this hippoholic does. Anywhydoyouride, do your remember that classic masterpiece of a video from a few years ago of those drunken Irish slags ruining their baby’s innocence by fighting about his wandering peen in the middle of the street? If you’ve been to Louvre lately you’ve seen it since it’s their star piece. In that video, the one drunk slag says “WHY DO YOU RIDE HIPPOS?!” over and over again to the other drunk slag. Well, Sue Shefman knows what they’re talking about, because she rides a hippo every day. Sue is so crazy about hippos that she turned her RAV4 into one.
If Brad Pitt loved shampoo as much as Sue loves hippos, I wouldn’t have thin layers of grease on my retinas from looking at his pictures. If Herman Cain loved monogamy as much as Sue loves hippos, we’d still have his crazy gems to take us higher (RIP Pizza 4 President). If Lindsay Lohan loved not fucking up as much as Sue loves hippos, she wouldn’t be spreading her carnicería in her Playboy for a check (actually she still would). If Anderson Cooper loved bitter skinny fat gay bloggers with zero taste as much as Sue loves hippos, then he’d probably be committed since his loved ones would be concerned about his mental well-being.
And yes, if I had the drunks and saw that RAV4 hippo in a parking lot, I’d totally hump it from the back.