Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

December 2, 2011 / Posted by:

This barely B list actress who has had some great roles in popcorn movies that bombed is pregnant. She has not announced it yet, not because she is not happy, but because she is still trying to figure out who the father is. Rumor has it that it might be this married B list co-star of one of her bigger bombs. (CDAN)

Thanks to January Jones, Mariah Yeater and now this trick, 2011 is truly the year of Maury. Time Magazine can call of the search and shut down their stupid polls, because their Person of the Year has been found. Now on to my guesses, which I’ve ranked from the biggest stretch (both Tommy Lee and Ridickulous can fuck it at the same time) to the tightest (Enrique Iglesias can’t even stick the tip of his self-proclaimed hamster peen in it):

6. Abbie Cornish & Russell Crowe (A Good Year)?
5. Teresa Palmer & Nicolas Cage (from The Sorcerer’s Apprentice)?
4. Jessica Biel & Ashton Kutcher (from New Year’s Eve, which hasn’t come out yet but you know that shit is going to flop like a dying fish) ?
3. Olivia Wilde & Cillian Murphy (from In Time)?
2. Olivia Wilde & Daniel Craig (from Cowboys & Aliens)?
AND WE HAVE A WINNER: Adam Sandler (as Jill) & Adam Sandler (as Jack)?

This reality star smiles and acts all sincere and caring for the cameras, but behind the scenes, she is nasty and conniving.

First of all, she is trying to force out the other members of the cast so that she can replace them with her own friends and family. She is delusional enough to think that she is the star of the show, and she will hurt anyone who gets in her way.

Secondly, when a blogger disclosed something unfavorable (but very true) about her past on a popular website, the reality star went ballistic! She and her thuggish family and friends launched a coordinated online campaign to discredit the blogger. Even worse, they started posting threats and select personal details about the blogger (e.g. where she lived) all over the internet, thinking that it would scare her enough to retract the story.

Finally, she had her attorney contact the blogger and threaten her with legal action if she didn’t issue a retraction. The blogger wouldn’t budge, so the lawyer resorted to calling her a “skank” on a popular social network. How professional! (And rather ironic considering the reality star’s own past.) The blogger has refused to retract the story and the reality star is still angry about being unable to control the media. Just wait until she finds out that here are even more salacious details to come… (Blind Gossip)

Caroline and her wannabe Marlon Brando ass from The Real Housewives of New Jersey? Or Teresa Giudice? You know, I don’t think I’d mind if Teresa brought her relatives, Koko the Gorilla and Bubbles, onto the show. Then they can change the name to Planet of the Housewives. I’m in!

This newly married male A list pop singer really needs to remember he is married. Of course he has had problems with cheating in the past. Famously so. Anyway he was spotted getting really flirty and touchy feely with this reality show singer/actress who continues to hang on to fame by a thread. (CDAN)

Michael Bublé and Katharine McPhee?

What sexy reality star’s athletic ex-boyfriend has a penchant for transsexuals? The single and never married footballer’s dirty little secret was the main reason she left him! (National Enquirer via Gawker)

Reggie Bush’s name came on my mind first. But Kim Kuntrashian was so hard up to marry him that I’m sure she’d mold a dick out of her old face skin and sew it onto her crotch to keep him.

Tags:
SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >