The new master of disguise, Matt Bellamy, fooled everybody and drew zero attention to himself this morning after he plastic bagged it to take a stroll with Kate Hudson. Bitch looks like a low-budget Jason Voorhees. When you try to buy a sex mask with food stamps, this is what the sex store clerk hands you. Some might not agree with me, but Matt’s not the one who should have a plastic bag over his head. Almost every movie Kate Hudson has made should be plastic bagged.
But seriously, at first I figured that Matt was just trying to hide a massive herp sore on his mouth, but then I glanced down to the amphibian socks from the ninth circle of hell wrapped around Kate’s hooves. It all makes sense now. Any bitch would rather risk death by Tesco bag suffocation than be seen with a troll wearing that shit on her feet.