Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 29, 2011 / Posted by:

The Baroness Beatrice Clancy!

When the founder of Sunglass Hut, 86-year-old Sanford Ziff, was married to his first wife Dolores, they spread their millions all over Miami and were so damn charitable that the opera house was named after them. Sanford became a widower back in January after pneumonia pushed Dolores onto a Segway to heaven. Six months later, Sanford married the peroxide goddess that some say he was cheating with while his wife was on her death bed. ES.CAN.DA.LOOOO! This is the kind of Miami tea that the Golden Girls like to sip on while nibbling on some cheesecake at midnight.

Now that the Dr. Evil of Miami has a slightly rusty trophy wife, he wants to erase his first wife’s name from the opera house they were named after. As Sanford and Dolores’ children cry out the word OUTRAGE!, he has asked the board to change the name of the Sanford and Dolores Ziff Opera House to the Sanford and Beatrice Ziff Opera House. Some might say that Sanford is doing this because he has a heart of cunt, but maybe it’s because he’s hypnotized by the Baroness’ “early 80s sitcom star” beauty and wants to see her name everywhere.

Dlisted reader Adriana pointed me to the Baroness and also gave me the reasons why The Heather Mills Gold Digging Institute should be renamed The Baroness Beatrice Clancy Gold Digging Institute:

This woman deserves to be hot slut for several reasons not limited to:

1. She is a BARONESS
2. She is a shameless gold digger
3. She is glamour
4. She is 68

She swindled her last boyfriend out of millions, and she married her new husband six months after his last wife passed away. Now he wants to take his dead wife’s name off of a hall, and put the new wife’s name on there. Gold diggers everywhere, bow to your queen.

But before I bow, let me just add that we should also pay homage to the Baroness, because she obviously keeps pictures of Audrey Landers and Loni Anderson taped her vanity mirror to give her inspiration when she gets glamoured up in the morning. THOSE CLOTHES! Somebody cleaned up at the Falcon Crest costume closet sale. She’s like a new money Naomi from Mama’s Family! Okay, now I’m bowing…

via CBS Miami

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