Hot Slut Of The Day!

Mama Joyce from The Real Housewives of Atlanta!

On last night’s episode, Kandi threw herself a 35th birthday party (I know, I had to Wiki that “35” to make sure it was correct too.) and Miss Phaedra, the secret swamp child of the Princess AND the frog, jumped off her proper lily pad and brought out a special gift in the form of a man stripper called Ridiculous (emphasis on DIC). Ridiculous is one of Phaedra’s “clients” and she’s always bragging about how he’s got a dick so big that he can knock himself in the tonsils with his own peen head. And apparently, that’s we he did at Kandi’s birthday party. Ridiculous brought out the beast and as SWAT team helicopters flew above the roof thinking that Cloverfield was attacking Atlanta, Kandi’s mom Joyce rang her own alarm.

As soon as Ridiculous started waving around his gut buster, Mama Joyce nearly passed a dozen kidney stones and strung them into a necklace so she could clutch them in horror at all the dark-sided ho shit going down at her daughter’s party. I mean, Mama Joyce actually said “I don’t like no damn strippers!” and “This is fucked up!” Out of all the things to say “This is fucked up!” about, Mama Joyce chooses this shit? Not the fact that Dwight hasn’t been in one episode this season or that Sheree’s building a Chateau de Short Sale when we know the bitch can barely afford a room at the Super 8. Sheree is a walking expired Groupon coupon. But more about Mama Joyce….

I kept waiting for Mama Joyce to splash holy water at Ridiculous and rebuke his crotch serpent back into the depths of hell. The caramel-colored dandelion on Mama Joyce’s head almost caught on fire and everyone’s temperature at that party reached a fever pitch from all of the hot side-eyes she kept throwing. Here’s a clip of Mama Joyce running from the dick and driving straight to church to sit on a bowl of holy water:

Now, I love strippers that can suck their own dicks, but I think I love Mama Joyce’s reaction to strippers that can suck their own dicks even more.

(Put on your safety goggles and click here if you want to see Ridiculous in action.)