From The Department Of DUH: Kate Gosselin Has A New Face

November 22, 2011 / Posted by:

UsWeekly put together this Kate Gosselin gallery that leads us on a long trail of Botox from when she looked like an everyday ho (who understood the glamour of an AquaNetted wave bang) to Ashley Tisdale in 20 years (third picture) to a scheming lizard overlord (fourth picture) to today. They asked NYC plastic surgeon Dr. Jon Turk to analyze the Botoxization of Kate’s mug and give his professional opinion on why this bitch’s face now looks like a factory defected Real Doll based on the Kim Cattrall alien from the SATC2 poster. According to Dr. Jon, Kate pulled her face skin sort of like how she pulled out cash from her chirrun’s college education fund to pay for this shit.

“She’s consumed with her appearance,” a source says of Gosselin, 36, whose TLC reality show Kate Plus 8 was canceled in August.

New York City plastic surgeon Jon Turk tells the new issue of Us Weekly (on sale Monday) that based on recent photos, it looks like Gosselin’s gone more extreme this time: A defined jawline and changed eye shape “suggest a facelift.”

It’s not surprising, the source tells Us: “Kate wants to look 10 years younger.”

If your faced morphed into an expression of shock after reading that QUELLE SURPRISE news, then hold it for about an hour and get your co-worker to shellack your entire head. Then you’ll have Kate Gosselin face #5 for free!

You know, the face that belongs to the Kate of today looks like a Sunset Orange Crayon with cartoon ant eyes and teefs on it, so I’m sure the ho Real Housewived herself. Kate now has a full-time job at some site called Coupon Cabin (position: Head STUNT QUEEN Coordinator), so I, for one, can’t wait to read her article on how she paid for all of her new face work with double coupons and savings cards.

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