If the fringe curtain that hangs over my cousin’s bedroom doorway and the grease-stained old chinoise wallpaper in my grandma’s kitchen were used to make a costume for a chorus skater in an Ice Capades version of The World of Suzie Wong, it would look like the mess Blake Lively wore to Gossip Girl’s 100 episode party in NYC last night. That shit is made of so much fug that there’s no way you could find one ho who would gladly use it to floss her twat. But there’s Blake trying to sell that fug dress like a Tijuana child selling a box of chicles.
My favorite part is how Blake’s actually doing the “hand on hip, sway back” pose. THIS BITCH would do a basic pose you learn your first day at that piece of amateur shit modeling school John Robert Powers (I can say this as an alumni of JRP’s rival school Barbizon). Fall back all the way, Blake, because you ain’t doing the pose, the pose is doing you.
And here’s a few other messes from last night’s party including: Leighton Meester, the most beautiful woman there Chace Crawford, Ed Westwick (who is prune-ing till he makes it), Penn Badgley, Hooker Megan from Melrose Place with Matthew Settle and Michelle Trachtenberg.