Brat bitches who need bad girl boot camp, cholita beauties, members of The Drag Queen Fight Club and penis peddlers of today finally have a forum to share their fuckery with half of America. After a 9 year break, The Ricki Lake Show will return to the eyeballs of this nation next September. So far 50% of the country including stations in New York, L.A. and Chicago have picked up Ricki. Ricki had this to say to EW about her grand return to talk television and I hope that her female empowerment speech is her way of letting us know that we can expect a non-stop top-notch tramp parade:
“I want to spark ideas and conversations and inspire people to take active roles in their communities, relationships and their well-being. I have definitely grown as a person since I put down the mic in 2005, and I couldn’t be happier to share and continue the journey with both my existing fans and an entirely new generation of women.”
This is obviously just the beginning of the 90s talk show revitalization. There’s a hole in our hearts left by the tragic death of soap operas, but it will soon be filled by “Geek to Chic” makeovers and blind dates between Black Panthers and KKK members. While this news makes me so happy that I could dry fuck the shoulder pads out of a double-breasted 90s blazer, I’m going to save my excitement for when the true queen of talk show trash Jenny Jones comes back to our lives. Because when Jenny Jones comes back, so will CHELA!!!
If the name Chela makes your brain give birth to a question mark, then the only thing you need to know is that she is the main reason why I put a thermometer on a light bulb in the nurse’s office so I could be sent home sick to watch Jenny Jones. Chela was like Tila Tequila but with talent. And by “talent” I mean bigger chichis.