During an episode of one of my favorite soft-core fake reality shows Gigolos, Brace the Krueger Face bragged to his co-whores that his sperm is so coveted by gold diggers that some of them have come up with creatively shady ways to knock themselves up with it. Brace claims that one gold digger let him cum in her mouth just so she could run to the bathroom, spit it into a turkey baster and shove the whole thing up her vagina while praying that her ovaries are feeling hungry. This trick would never work on George Clooney, because I’m pretty sure thanks to a few snips his dick water doesn’t have any fishes swimming in it.
George has made it perfectly clear that the only children he wants living in his houses are the of-age ones who sign a contract and smile really pretty-like when they escort him to one of his premieres. George doesn’t want kids. This is not brand new information. But that didn’t stop the child actress who plays his daughter in that Descendants movie from reminding George that he would make a shit father. UsWeekly asked 11-year-old Amara Miller if she thinks George Clooney would make a good father and this was her priceless response:
“Let me just say, he wouldn’t be good as a father. He wouldn’t be the best as a father. George likes being an adult. George has fun being an adult, and I don’t think he would like having kids. I know that he’s not planning on having kids anytime soon.”
And when asked if George kept in touch with her after filming, Amara said:
“He was just a really phenomenal person to work with. [But] we don’t really keep in touch anymore. He’s George Clooney… No one really keeps in touch with him anymore!”
I like this Amara Miller and let’s just hope that Hollywood doesn’t taint her gift for speaking the truth. Let’s also hope that she remembers her words when in 10 years The George Clooney Red Carpet Escort Agency asks her to come in for an interview. Just say nope.