Bitch Got Caught: The Mariah Yeater Edition

November 17, 2011 / Posted by:

This is why little ass girls should leave the big cons to the Alexis Carringtons of the world who have trained their whole lives in the craft of scheming and would never make an amateur bitch mistake like this one right here. Alexis would spit at Mariah Yeater out of disgust, but sheiks buy vials of her saliva with diamonds and she’s not going to waste a drop on a dumb bitch who can’t scheme.

Yesterday, Mariah Yeater’s new lawyer confirmed that his client pulled her paternity case against Justin Bieber to start private settlement negotiations with the world’s most famous yodeling fetus. Mariah still swore that Justin Bieber bareback boned a bag of money into her uterus and asked him once again to take a DNA test. But now it seems like her entire get-rich-quick scheme has come crashing down like a balloon with no boy in it. One of Mariah’s friends sold her the hell out by giving TMZ a bunch of text messages where she says that some other dude named Robbie is the father of her baby and she wants him in her kid’s life. Mariah also promises to give her friend a cut of the cash if he keeps his mouth shut. THE JIG JIG JIG IS UP!

The person to whom Mariah Yeater sent the text asked us to blur his name — we’ll call him John. He has been in touch with Yeater regularly … even before the baby was born on July 6.

In the text, Yeater pleads for John to “ERASE ALL MESSAGES from my mom.” The text goes on to say that her mom sent John messages in the past, stating that baby Tristyn was fathered by Robbie — an ex-boyfriend.

She then goes on to talk about giving John money if he cooperates: “Ill kick u when we get paid.”

All of her texts end with Mariah Laci– Laci is Mariah’s middle name.

John tells us he’s already shared this information with Howard Weitzman, Justin Bieber’s lawyer.

Weitzman tells TMZ, “This information proves Mariah Yeater fabricated the story. Our independent investigation indicates Ms. Yeater never meet Justin, she has consistently identified another man as the child’s father, and Ms. Yeater and her co-conspirators hatched this scheme in order to extort money from him and to sell her story to the media.”

Weitzman adds, “There have been no settlement discussions and there never will be.”

What kind of self-respecting gold digging con artist leaves a text trail? You’re supposed to conduct all of your bribery (Biebery?) discussions in an empty steam sauna. That way nobody can wear a wiretap and your pores get cleansed in the process. I swear. Pimp Mama Kris, come and get this dumb dumb and teach her your con artist ways, because she’s a skid mark on the profession. Unless…..

Maybe The Lesbeaver has already paid Mariah off and this is just the grand finale to wrap everything up and make it go away forever. That would mean Mariah is a master schemer after all. Nope, can’t be. Any ho who spells the name TristanT-R-Y-S-T-Y-N” can’t be that good.

Here’s The Lesbeaver on the Spanish show El Hormiguero yesterday. You can laugh all you want, but you won’t be spitting out HAHAs in a few months when that purple puppet is knocked up on the cover of HOLA! magazine and crying about how Justin scissored a baby into it in a backstage bathroom.

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