Why Do The Kuntrashians Hate Kristin Cavallari?

I know, the better question is: Why should you dip into your precious pile of fucks and give one to this flavorless fart of a non-story? Well, it’s either that or you can continue trying to break the Guinness World Record for creating the longest Christmas Tree garland made out of paper clips. Yeah, since I put it that way. You better raid the supply closet behind the office manager’s desk before they come back from their cry break in the bathroom.

Life & Style says that Scott Disick (phonetically pronounced: IS A DICK) hasn’t been sitting with the Kardashian Kunts in the Dancing with the Shats audience to clap for one of their own, because Kourtney has banned him from most of the tapings. The reason being that there’s only five chairs at their table and one goes to Kourtney, one goes to Pimp Mama Kris, one goes to Pimp Mama Kris’ ego and two go to Kim’s double Mount Doom ass. No, the reason is that before Kourtney got knocked up, Scott screwed on Kristin Calamariorhwatever from The Hill. So the Kardoucheians hate Kristin and Kourtney refuses to let Scott’s gaze touch her arch rival. The source put it like this:

“While Kourtney and Scott were on a break, Scott hooked up with Kristin. Scott and Kourtney argued about Kristin. Kourtney can’t stand her now and didn’t want Scott at show tapings. Scott and Kristin hooked up in Las Vegas during a time [February 2009] that he was on a break from Kourtney. She and her sisters have called Kristin ‘the whore bag’ ever since.”

HOLD THE WHORE! A bunch of talentless whores tried to insult a talentless whore by calling her a “whore bag” and the sheer hyporcrisy of this didn’t create a gaping rapture hole bigger than the one that made Kim a star?! God better answer to that one.

And since when is “whore bag” an insult in the Kardashian family? I thought “whore bag” meant “I love you” in Kardashian talk. I mean, it’s true that Kim knew her mother really appreciated her as a daughter when Pimp Mama Kris pinched her ass cheeks and said, “You did good, you big whore bag,” after she made her first million from Vivid.