Victor Garber Approves!
Bradley Cooper's orthodontist poster smiler and his always glistening coke eyes are blessing People Magazine this week and it's not for a glorious "Yup, I'm Gay!" cover. It's not even for a "World's Sexiest Beard Wrangler" cover. People could've dropped a fire in all our no-nos (yes, I'm speaking for all of us again) by giving Prince Hot Ginge the title or they could've dropped more fuel into Pimp Mama Kris' money-hungry charcoal heart by putting the crown on Khloe Kardashian's head, but they went with B. Coop of all hos. I smell a Garber! If you go to Google Earth right now, type in "People's World Sexiest Man ballot stuffing," it will dramatically pan down into a Manhattan office and show you a clear shot of Victor Garber throwing you a wink while sitting on the ballot box. I've always said that it's Victor Garber's world and we're just living in it, so I can't be mad.
People says they chose B. Coop over serial panty creamer Ryan Gosling, because he's a major mommy boy, a Georgetown graduate and can butter everyone's baguettes by speaking the French. People also forgot to say that they really chose B. Coop, because his publicist promised to give them the sloppiest blowjob in the form of future exclusives.
After last year's Mister World's Sexiest Man Ryan Reynolds handed B. Coop a bouquet of roses, slipped a sash over his chest and straightened his crown, he gave this acceptance speech:
"I think it's really cool that a guy who doesn't look like a model can have this [title]. I think I'm a decent-looking guy. Sometimes I can look great, and other times I look horrifying."
Other dudes who made the list include: Gosling, Brian Williams, Liam Hemsworth, Justin Theroux, Idris Elba, Joel McHale, Chris Evans, Jason Momoa, Alec Baldwin (???????), Dylan McDermott and Tim McGraw.
To me, B. Coop is about as sexy as a soft dick in a used condom, but anything that gives Victor Garber the tingles gives me the tingles.
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He is not the sexiest man alive. Not even close!
(973) Jersey Strong
Pleeeease!!!! I honestly don't get him, as I don't get it with Ryan Reynolds, or whaetever the name!!
Idris Elba, yes!!! But where's Michael Fassbender??? Not even on the list?? Even if he's not as famous as others, he could have made it somewhere on the list....
I just watched "Limitless" last night and this man has not one sessy bone in his body whatsoever. Incredibly ugly, skanky, and gross in the beginning, they clean him up, but he is as bland and boring as dry toast. Those eyes totally creep me out. Plus, knowing about his quickie marriage and slew of beards? Rock Hudson eat your heart out.
Sexiest my azz! Haven't they heard of Paul Walker, Paul Rudd, Patrick Wilson?! And I agree Jon Hamm is a great choice, he's perfect for this and ticks all the boxes. But obviously it's about who has the best PR.
They did say "sexiest" I suppose cause he clearly isn't the best looking, but Tim McGraw? Come on. I love that they put Joel McHale though, even if he has hair plugs as well. Justin Theroux is foxy.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 11/16/2011 - 6:03pm.
I think I'm a decent-looking guy. Sometimes I can look great, and other times I look horrifying
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Spoken like a true queen...No straight guy would ever say this shit..."Oh, and certain times of the month when I'm all bloated, I'm a house..."
F-A-G...
LOL!!!! I get the feeling he stands there and looks in the mirror and undresses himself with his OWN eyes!
Bradley's wig gives me shivers:/
I stand by what I said about this trick a few weeks back: Lupine-faced serial killer with merciless Arctic eyes. Not sexy. At all. Also his eyes are as crooked as Shannen Doherty's.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Irish I love me some B Coop too. Yummy!!!
Hope that wasn't sarcasm...and you haterz leave my man alooone!!!!
Ryan and Alec can get it too.
I don't understand why B-Coop needs this validation when he has all that cash he hijacked the plane for and then parachuted out of in the 1970s...
Jon Hamm was ROBBED!!!!!!!!
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Oh for fuck's sake. Bradley Cooper is as much the sexiest man alive as I am. I'm not bad looking as it happens and I could stand to lose a few pounds and I need a haircut and shave and perhaps a new wardrobe and a new woman, maybe a new house, car and life, but I have my moments and sometimes I look sharp. But I'm not the sexiest man alive by a fuckin long shot and neither is that bastard.
I think I'm a decent-looking guy. Sometimes I can look great, and other times I look horrifying
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Spoken like a true queen...No straight guy would ever say this shit..."Oh, and certain times of the month when I'm all bloated, I'm a house..."
F-A-G...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I loathe this smarm-ster. He makes me think very seriously about becoming a sadist.
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"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
Barry Manilow is the sexiest man alive? What the fuck am I doing wrong???
Oh look, it's "up the pooper Cooper" trying to look all sessy.
TEXBRO
Klingon Madonna say what? - MK
Aww isn't it cute how he looks a little bit gayer each year?
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy
Submitted by mike on Wed, 11/16/2011 - 9:51am.
Bull Fucking Shit.
I'm sexier than this bore.
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Pix or ya lyin'! :)
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 11/16/2011 - 9:16am.
THE MOST CUM FILLED MAN ALIVE!!!
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Thank you for my first LOL of the day! :)
meh
tim mcgraw? bitch please!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
This asshat has one heck of a beak (nose).
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
WTF? This boring mediocre looking actor got the cover? Who did he screw?
How can it not be Jason MoFuckin'Moa?
Submitted by Condi the ingro... on Wed, 11/16/2011 - 2:54pm.
This is the triumph of his publicist, nothing more. I will say that Cooper's publicist is one of the hardest working men/women in Hollywood, because Cooper can't open a movie, is a middling actor, isn't funny, and is probably so deep in the closet he can't find the lightbulb cord. In fact, this publicist is almost as good at flogging his/her marginally talented client as Blake Lively's flack is.
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Ari Gold, baby !! LOL
There aren't many men that could pass for being the Sexiest Man Alive right now based on looks alone. The last man I could see winning this on those merits would be Colin Farrell in his prime, but that's just my opinion. None of these hollywood men make me swoon much anymore.
This is the triumph of his publicist, nothing more. I will say that Cooper's publicist is one of the hardest working men/women in Hollywood, because Cooper can't open a movie, is a middling actor, isn't funny, and is probably so deep in the closet he can't find the lightbulb cord. In fact, this publicist is almost as good at flogging his/her marginally talented client as Blake Lively's flack is.
Bradley Cooper melts my butter just fine, but sexiest? eh. He lost a lot of points with me for having sexy times with squinty.
One thing I don't get is all the Idris Elba love. He doesnt do anything for me.
Eh I used to like B.Coop in Kitchen Confidential and then he married Jennifer Esposito and some weird shit obviously went on with that and I never cared for him after that.
The rest sounds boring. I hope the Hemsworth they chose is that hot piece who played Thor and not the ones who fucks on that Hillbilly chipmunk, because he's the uglier brother.
Never understood the allure of this dude.
Just goes to show you the massive difference between the standards of "sexy" for men and women. seriously, if he were a girl he'd be miley cyrus. not that there arnt stunning men out there, i mean seriously where the fuck is MATTHEW FUCKING BOMER (should be re-named "Boner") like an even better looking version of Henry Cavill and even i didnt think that was possible! google him people, i swear his face is perfection!
He nailed it- he can look gorgeous but can also looked like whipped shit with little sprinkles of areyouahobo on top.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Dlisters: Sign petition to get Kardashian off the air.
http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/no-more-kardashian.html
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"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
And really-a Mister Rogers cardigan for the cover?
Wow, so that's what passes for sexy out in the real world these days? Sad.
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
Seriously? This isn't a joke cover? Bradley Cooper isn't even mildly attractive, to me at least. Sexy? Please!
Who are the voters? He does NOTHING for me, not even a tingle. Give me sexy as hell Colin Firth!
I don't care who they name Sexiest Man Alive! They have snubbed Lyle Lovett for years. Screw them!
Submitted by WTF on Wed, 11/16/2011 - 11:30am.
Alec Baldwin?? yeah 10 years ago.
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twenty
He has had to swallow to much sh*t in his life, hence the sh*t eating grin
Just one time... one time I want a hot Latino man to be the sexiest man alive. Diego Luna is hotter than this fool.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Whoever said Michael Fassbender, to me he truly is the sexist man working the camera these days, but he's not famous enough.
If they wanted to put a maybe gay sexy guy on the cover this shit should have gone to Hugh Jackman. Did no one else see this? It's cheesy but still hot.
http://youtu.be/QdWEXuoLL5A
Sexiest Man Alive?
Are you shitting me?
UGH!
O hell no. This just goes to prove, that just like a star on Hollywoood Blvd, this shit is bought. Ho can't even get a proper beard.
ETA: on a positive note, at least my grandma has received her monthly fap material in the mail.
Sexy? If I weren't looking directly at Bradley Cooper's face, I could not tell you what he looks like. He's like a generic human being.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Baby Goose was robbed.
That is all. Emu-face is NOT cuter.
My avi will let y'all know that I approve. However, they should've used the inside pics on the cover. That cover is meh.
And I don't believe for one second that he thinks he's an average looking guy. He knows women adore him.
I would've been very happy with Ryan Gosling as SMA too.
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"Drink your juice, Shelby" M'Lynn Steel Magnolias
Khloe Kardashian should have been voted Sexiest Man Alive.
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My vote(s) for Sexiest Man Alive go to:
(a/k/a/ men I would like to have babies with)
Michael Fassbender (as Rochester - holy fucking shit yes)!
Paul Walker
Henry Cavill
Ian Somerhalder
Colin Firth - even though some people don't get him .. us bitches that do, have great taste in men!
BCooper IS handsome on screen, but he does not photograph well at all :( exceedingly do-able in The Hangover. But not my Sexiest Man Alive cover choice.
Armie Hammer is very porkable.
Can't come up with any others off the bat. But those are my bottom bitches.
Alec Baldwin?? yeah 10 years ago.
I don't find him attractive but maybe it's because I can't stand his personality. I think one of the hot bitches from American Horror Story should have gotten it :P Why do I think that blonde kid is hot?!
You can tell he's a total power bottom. That's a cock taking grin right there.
Why wasn't Doug Hutchison on this list, dammit?
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