The last time Julia Roberts’ tongue tried to twist out a foreign accent (see: the watered down in shit Irish accent she did in Michael Collins) Ireland almost declared war on our asses, and rightly so. So I’m sure some country is going to hate attack us in the face for the jacked up accent she spits up in the other Snow White movie Mirror, Mirror. I’d tell you which country, but I don’t even know what kind of accent she’s trying to make. Is it British? Is it Madge-ish? Is it Muppet? Is it the same accent as the one the Google Translate bitch does? Whatever it is, it’s fucked up.
The rest of the trailer for Mirror, Mirror tells me that if I’m ever going to see this mess in full, I better smoke the wrong stuff out of an apple bong beforehand. All nerves will have to be numbed to deal with Julia’s face acrobats and her signature horse cackle that still sounds like Woody Woodpecker getting ass fucked without lube on a seesaw.
Can’t we pluck (not punned on purpose) Brow White from this movie and throw her into the one with Charlize Thereon? Then we can stick this mess into ABC Family right between a PSA on cyber bullying and a tampon commercial.