IMPORTANT (Not Really) UPDATE: Brad Pitt Is Not Retiring In Three Years
The future of cinema stood on a chair and slipped its head in a noose yesterday when Benjamin Buttons declared that he'll turn in his SAG card when his 50th birfday rolls around in 3 years. Crazed Brangeloonies who can't leave their houses due to a court order hired professional mourners to weep at the Hollywood sign and the MGM lion let out a "WHY ME?!!!!" roar. Well, everybody can get off the ledge, because Brad Pitt was just talking out of his bong again. During a press conference in South Korea for his movie Testicle Bank, Brad told everyone to calm their assholes, because bitch ain't retiring. From The Telegraph:
"I wasn't actually putting an exact deadline on my expiration date [in Australia's 60 Minutes interview], but I see it coming. I just have other interests and I do quite enjoy the production side," he said.He also added that given the choice, he would take the wisdom that comes with ageing, over youth.
"Me, personally I like ageing. With age comes wisdom and I have said it before and I say it again, I will take wisdom over youth any day. I think certainly, being a father has changed everything for me as far as perspective and interest, taking care of myself and wanting to be around for them," he said.
What Brad should've said is, "I WAS STONED OFF MY BRAINZ!" Before that 60 Minutes interview, Brad smoked so much of the good shit that his mouth lips when numb and his ass had to do the talking yet again. I understand. I do that on this blog every day. That's why Brad's dumb ass should think, and then ask a publicist to approve it, before he speaks.
And call me new-fashioned, but doesn't "taking care" of yourself involve getting your hair degreased at Jiffy Lube every now and again? Believe it or not, "Diane Keaton as Pig Pen" is not the look. No offense to Diane Keaton and Pig Pen.
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I've never seen an actor work so hard to "clarify" all the bullshit that comes out of his mouth ... everything from retiring to having a sucky marriage ... DUDE ,if you say something then OWN it!
No one cares about your midlife crisis, your nomad lifestyle, your children, your supposed wisdom, OR how you "didnt" cheat on your wife.
STFU already!! PLUS when you say shit, you take it back anyway...so no one even believes you anymore!
Hey, who is that hot guy on the giant poster behind the dirty wino in black?
well that's too bad. i was hoping he'd take the cryptkeeper with him. speaking of st. angie ho, she's so desperate for decent parts she finally got a talent agent. guess she senses, she ain't all that after all unless she's shooting shit up and doing stunts.
Leonardo Dicaprio is pissed that he broke out his set of Pernod-Ricard Perrier-Jouet champagne to celebrate "Brad's Retirement Day" only to be told, Brad will never be retiring.
yawn....
Smug ass mother fucker, always pulling the daddy card. You can be wise without spooging out a bunch of little bastards, you know.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Omf NOBODY GIVES A GODDANG SHIT ALREADY, Damn shit will they just stop with the bullshit press releases on this lame crap?? Just D.I.E. Enough. Go away. fk
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Mark 3:22 - "Words and Ideas Can Change The World" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiKM6g-dfBo&feature=related. "The powerful play goes on...that YOU may contribute a verse..." - Whitman. THINK FREE.
I have decided this guy is annoying. I wouldn't care if I ever heard his name or saw his face again. He's a bore.
As I said yesterday:
Message to Mr. Self-Involved: GET OVER YOURSELF!!!
No one gives a $hit if you "act" ever again or not. No loss there!!!
Submitted by Who Datt on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 2:18pm.
He must be spooked that with all the rumblings of his "wife's" Bosnian tearjerker being a good film, she may get even more insufferable at home talking about her devotion to "the craft". I wouldn't be surprised if he shoots on location from here on.
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By the look of his raggedy, worn-out face; I'm guessing he *shoots* everywhere.
I have said it before and I say it again, I will take wisdom over youth any day.
Well then's he's doubly fucked. His youthful days are behind him, and he sure the hell isn't wise in his old age either.....poor deluded old chap. He really has become an obnoxious, self important, patronizing, pompous, asshole. He really thinks he is just all that and a bag of chips, doesn't he??
The next breaking news I want to hear about this fuknut that he actually took a shower and shaved.
Other than that, his constant back-tracking of his sound-bites in the media, to garner headlines, is becoming redundant, all in self promotion.
Face it Brad, you're movie flopped in the North American Box office. It will flop internationally also. You won't get that coveted Oscar,no matter what you try to sell to the masses. They don't give a prestigious award like an Oscar to a celebrity star.
But don't despair, I am sure when you're in your 70's that you'll get one of those "lifetime achievement" awards, where you can show up, with a twenty-something bimbo on your arm.
i think brad may be so distressed that he procreated with such a lizard looking skank that he just doesn't know what to do with himself. that is the most plausible explanation for his appearance which i am sure many fine psychiatrists would back up.
He looks old and worn out.
That's nice. I will continue to not give a crap.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 1:59pm.
I'm proud to announce, I've never watched any Brad Piss or Jolie movies.
^^^^^^^^
*sits with Sandbitch*
ME TOO!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I'm with Dog- jackass realized that no one gave a shit & he panicked.
Wisdom? The only wisdom time could deliver to this guy is realizing that it was just dumb luck that he's not a 50 Y.O. man working the parking lot for dope money.
I love Brad's glasses. That's all.
He must be spooked that with all the rumblings of his "wife's" Bosnian tearjerker being a good film, she may get even more insufferable at home talking about her devotion to "the craft". I wouldn't be surprised if he shoots on location from here on.
This guy is turning into an epic douche nozzle.
I'm proud to announce, I've never watched any Brad Piss or Jolie movies. They ain't got my ten quid, no no no.
It'll get interesting in a few years when their spawn break loose and start terrorizing. Lets hope it's them they take it out on and not the rest of us.
Submitted by oh dave on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 1:38pm.
I see exactly what he's doing. That hair is going to morph into a "Rachel" (isn't that what Jennifer Aniston's hair was called?)!!! He's showing everyone that he's prettier and better and smarter. He might steal Justin!
lolololololololll
I have said it before and I say it again, I will take wisdom over youth any day.
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It's funny how people that are getting old always bring this up! Especially people that were once good looking.
I say FUCK wisdom, what's wrong with being a dumb 25 year old fuck machine!
GOD BLESS THE STILL-THESPIAN JOLIE-PITTS!
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Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 1:28pm.
This may not be his best look, but he's still hotter than 98% of,oh, EVERYONE. His hair is not greasy, its long and hippie-ish.
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Co-sign. His blonde dye job is growing out, and his natural brown roots make his hair look dirty at first glance.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Testicle Bank? Is that what the movie title translates to over there?
Hard to believe this guy is 50 y.o.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
LOL @ Jack and the bridge. Hey did anyone watch that documentary about the suicides on the San Francisco bridge? No, it's not funny, I just remembered. *cries*
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
"Hair degreased at jiffy lube" lol
OUCH! In more important news. I just got a paper cut under my pinky finger nail. :(
Submitted by Manimal5 on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 1:32pm.
*removes BYE GOOD tattoos*
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HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!
*removes noose, stops masturbating and steps out of closet* oh wait
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
*stops NGAF and goes back to NGAF*
I see exactly what he's doing. That hair is going to morph into a "Rachel" (isn't that what Jennifer Aniston's hair was called?)!!! He's showing everyone that he's prettier and better and smarter. He might steal Justin!
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
*takes down Legends of the Fall shrine*
*removes BYE GOOD tattoos*
...he looks just like this girl I used to work with...
...think I'll call her up for Christmas drinks soon...that chick was alright...
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...'we want money' - Doug and Courtney Hutchison's hacker...
That lesbian soccer player wig isn't doing much for poor Bradley's war-torn face.
This may not be his best look, but he's still hotter than 98% of,oh, EVERYONE. His hair is not greasy, its long and hippie-ish. I personally don't care if I ever see him in a movie again. Boring. Meh.
I think he realized how little anyone cared so he ran back in and yelled "Psyche!"
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by ba-buttons on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 1:01pm.
Nice look there, player.
He totally reminds me of the father of this girl I dated a few years ago. He and her mother had divorced very late in their marriage and he was having one of those ultra-sad, post-mid-life crises.
His hair looked just like Brad's - too long for a grown man with cheesy highlights. And every outfit included black t-shirt under black leather sports coat (which apparently had been soaked overnight in 'Eternity for Men').
The creepiest part was that he latched onto me thinking I would be his winger or something. Gross was listening to him go on about his conquests of paunchy, 50 yr old divorcees - with his daughter sitting right there.
Super ick-tastic gross was him wanting to discuss my sex life with his daughter, complete with helpful "Well, her mother came like a porn star when I did this, maybe you two should try it..."
Do you have this fella's number lying around anywhere by chance???
speaking of diane keaton, I'm bored with her aw shucks ya wanta f*uck I'm not that kinda girl schtick, even tho I like her movies.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Tue, 11/15/2011 - 1:01pm.
...
Super ick-tastic gross was him wanting to discuss my sex life with his daughter, complete with helpful "Well, her mother came like a porn star when I did this, maybe you two should try it..."
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Oh, wow. Gross!
Were you dating Jessica Simpson?
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
*cancels where are they now special on VH1*
I guess I'll have to cancel that going away party I was throwing in three years. If only he'd retracted right way. I wouldn't have put all the invitations in the mail yesterday...
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
*takes back handicapped parking space*
The only film he was ever good in was Fight Club. I could care less about anything else he has done.
Seems to me that as of late, Brad's got a Curious Case of Diarrhea of The Mouth.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
*climbs back down from George Washington bridge*
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
*scratches Provy's balls*
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd....
who cares...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr