Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 13, 2011 / Posted by:

Marian from Double Dragon! Oh, poor Marian got it bad in the first Double Dragon video game. Marian wasn’t on the screen for even 10 seconds before she got punched in the gut and thrown over some 8-bit roided-up douchehole’s shoulder. I think she even got shot at in the second video game! A tragedy against beauty. How could anyone (even a fake video game dick bag who is programmed to be an asshole of huge cunt proportions) hurt such a beautiful bitch like Marian?

I mean, that hot red hooker dress…. The sensible patent leather heels…. A mop of glamorous waves like Ginger #2 from Gilligan’s Island… Pale yellow skin that made her the most gorgeous jaundice sufferer of all time…. Perfection! Marian was obviously one of my video game idols. Billy risked his EVERYTHING to save her and I’m pretty sure she sped up puberty for every straight adolescent boy and every lesbian adolescent girl by flashing her pristine white panties. I love her.

Alyssa Milano totally didn’t do her justice in the movie. It’s time for a remake. Or they can just rework Girl with the Dragon Tattoo with Marian (played by La Pequena, of course) as the star and call it Girl with the Double Dragon Tattoo.

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