One would think that because there’s sunshine and tropical rains in Hawaii nearly every day, Nick Lachey’s world-class rack would be extra lush and bountiful, but that’s not what’s happening here. Nick and his wife Vanessa Manilawhatever trained in the sport of bikini bike riding for the 2012 Holympics in Hawaii yesterday afternoon, and his chichis almost look as flat as her personality. The sudden urge to motorboat while humming the melody to “Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche)” usually fills me when I stare at Nick’s succulent pectorals, but not one musical note is filling my throat. Eat some macadamias, Nick! Get those tetes to reach for the sun again.
Oh, let’s just assume that Nick’s pec sacks are still on California time so they’re just taking their usual early evening nap. Let’s assume that.