Nicki Minaj Is The New Foxy Brown

Some have already accused Nicki Minaj of felony grand theft for stealing Lil’ Kim’s “Candyland’s Princess Lolly as a raver hooker” look and now I’m accusing her of Xerox copying Foxy Brown’s self-entitled cunt gene. Nick showed her true cunt colors last month when she overreacted by firing and bitching out her housekeeper for asking for an autograph. Star Magazine (via Radar) says that Nicki followed up that act of assholery at her facialist’s salon recently. Nicki’s former face torturer tells Star that Onika Tanya Maraj’s Fraggle Rock wig hit the ceiling and the bitch farted out a smoke tunnel of hot rage after getting her eyebrows waxed. Nicki’s facialist Dawn DaLuise put it like this (note: for an extra tingle, picture Dom DeLuise as Dawn):

“After I waxed her eyebrows and lip, she started screaming ‘Who the fuck do you think you are? Look what you did to my damn face! You think this shit is worth 170 dollars?’

It’s a shame when you see a darling girl turn into a temperamental diva.”

“Look at what you did to my damn face” are words Nicki should reserve for the plastic surgeon who sliced her beak up. In Nicki’s defense, murder is wrong, but murdering a bitch who fucks up your eyebrow situation is not since it’s self defense. You fuck with my brows, you fuck with my life. In Dawn’s defense, it’s really not possible for her to fuck up Nicki’s face more than it already is (well, Nicki set up the joke), so Onika needs to simmer down. Say the words with me, Nicki: FOXY BROWN’S CURRENT CAREER (OR LACK THEREOF).

Oh, and my response to that picture from the VS fashion show of Nicki squatting is: Pete Burns did the catwalk bowel movement better.