Here’s Katy Perry melting the prosthetic old lady mask off of her face with the piping hot raw emotion seeping out of her pores in the music video for her new single “The One That Got Away.” Bitch is giving us melodrama and theater in this one. Katy plays some rich ass old ho who sits in her fancy house thinking about how she used to make the sex with that hot piece Diego Luna back in the day. I regularly sit around in my apartment thinking about fucking Diego Luna, so I can relate to this story. But really, if you’re some old millionairess who wishes Diego Luna was still around to hump on, you wouldn’t sit on your bed and think about it. You’d bump off your rich husband, collect the money, go down to Mexico City and buy a Diego Luna look-alike. That’s what you’d do.
On a serious note: the lesson to be learned here is never stare at a pink veil while driving. If you do, you’ll accidentally drive to your death and come back as a mute ghost who Katy Perry visits from time to time. The worst part is that you’ll never be able to yell at her stupid ass for keeping her veil in the car visor. Who keeps a veil in the car visor?!