Shocking News: Ashton Kutcher Tweets Before He thinks

November 10, 2011 / Posted by:

AssStain Kutcher delivered yet another “Dude, Where’s My Fucking Brain?” moment last night when he prematurely ejacutweeted his outrage over Penn State’s head football coach Joe Paterno getting the BYE BITCH treatment for shutting his eyes, plugging his ears and singing “lalalaimnotseeingthislalalal” to his assistant coach butt raping a boy in the locker room.

Ashton saw the headline “Jo Pa Fired” somewhere and the cold pile of mashed DURR in his head didn’t think to use his fingers to Google for the full story before raising his fist in disgust. This was a surprising move on Ashton’s part since he’s known for having a dozen degrees, PhDs and awards of excellence in decision making (see: growing that beard and not wearing a condom before fucking his one-night fuck piece). This is Ashton’s first Tweet, which was quickly swallowed up by the fail whale.

How do you fire Jo Pa? #insult #noclass as a hawkeye fan I find it in poor taste

Three seconds after Ashton shat out this dingle of dumb, some of his 8 million followers beat some realness into him with a hashtag. Ashton quickly erased the Tweet and then apologized before announcing that he’s taking a Tweetbatical

Heard Joe was fired, fully recant previous tweet! Didn’t have full story. #admitwhenyoumakemistakes

As an advocate in the fight against child sexual exploitation, I could not be more remorseful for all involved in the Penn St. case.

As of immediately I will stop tweeting until I find a way to properly manage this feed. I feel awful about this error. Won’t happen again.

“Find a way to properly manage this feed.” Way to backtrack from a pile of shit by rolling into another pile of shit. This dumb fuck douchebag needs to find a way to properly manage his brain before he tackles his feed. One obstacle at a time, Ashton.

via People

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