"I'd Make Out With You But I Think That Last Martini Is About To Come Up"
This morning, the lobby of the Belasco Theater in Los Angeles looks like a crime scene where a tangerine viciously murdered a family of cherries and that could only mean one thing: XTINA WAS THERE!
The Tasmanian She-Devil put on her party leggings and whirled through a video game launch party, eating every booze bottle, whore d'oeuvre and man in her path. Once every drop of hooch and cater waiter tray had been devoured, she stopped, let out a few huffs and then this happened:
Xtina gambled:
Xtina lost:
And when Xtina loses, everybody in a 200-foot radius loses. Emergency room nurses at the UCLA Medical Center now know why the number of fart inhalation cases that came in last night were up by a thousand percent.
Also, here's Xtina's beauty tip of the day: Before a night of drunken debauchery, go ahead and color your hairline with a bronzer stick. Bronzer it up all the way. I mean, your hairline is going to be covered in bronzer shit by the end of the night anyway, so you might as well look like you did it on purpose.
• 
Did you hear that thump? That was Kelly Osbourne falling over in delight.
MESS! Her hairline is cracking me up. Why would she do that on purpose?
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Stare into the face of God, Shaye St. John: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLA7V995TD4
Hoffalina - Christmas shit being shoved up your ass. LMFAO! And I feel the same.
BH was asking me last night where we should put the tree. I'M NOT HAVING THIS DISCUSSION BEFORE THANKSGIVING FUCKER!
I love Thanksgiving and HATE that it's just skipped over now.
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:02pm.
Keep on ignoring me, beesh. I only said hai to you forty'leven times today!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Martini, MK? She looks to be all about the sugary mixed drinks
Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:02pm.
I agree. If she actually dressed for her shape and not what she thinks she looks like, she would look 10x better.
not only is she chubby, she is puffy and bloated from drinking. She looks awful.
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Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks, and the pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you
She honestly doesn't look THAT fat, she just looks sloppy and poorly-styled.
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Douchechill!
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:45pm.
I wanna new post. I'm bored with the clown.
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Stomp your feet and throw things. That's how you get shit done, son!
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:39pm.
Hey, whatever happened to DreamyAguileraEyes?
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She still pops in now and then! You can notice her cuz she's usually helping Xtina promote something in big bold siggy:)
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
Former child star hasbeen... They really should make a rule that children and young adults can not become famous until they actually have gone to college and gotten some reality. Being shoved into the spotlight, thrown tons of money at such a young ages only creates future hasbeen and hot messes. Justin Beaver's future will become even bleaker mark my words. Sad...
dp! fml.
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A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11
YAAAAAAASS! -Sage Khia
Ha! This bitch is the most entertaining mess to come around in a while. Alison from Intevention-grade entertaining.
*puts bronzer on plugs*
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A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11
YAAAAAAASS! -Sage Khia
CTH, I'm with you. The fucking Halloween shit comes out the Tuesday after Labor Day. And the Christmas shit started before Halloween.
On Topic: Christina's face makes me think of Halloween.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:45pm.
I wanna new post. I'm bored with the clown.
*SNAPS FINGERS VIOLENTLY IN MK'S FACE* MOVE YOUR ASS, M.E. NEEDS A NEW POST!!!!!! I WANNA SEE THOSE FINGERS FUCKING DANCE ON THAT KEYBOARD! MAKE YOUR COMPUTER TO FEEL THE SAME PAIN AS KANYE'S PUT-UPON MACBOOK AIR!!!!!!!!!!
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Attention campers, lunch has been cancelled today, due to lack of hustle. Deal with it...
MK went back to bed...
off topic, i'm already sick of having fucking christmas shoved up my asshole. jesus, I remember when we had thanksgiving.
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I don't like your grandma. She smells like vitamins and pee.
AHAHAHA I didn't notice that until I read MK's commentary. jeez that's embarassing. what, did she have a case of the coke sweats or something? who does that? :D
Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:43pm.
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:27pm.
With hair that stiff and dried out, she could wear it up and like actually store her keys and some change up there instead of carrying a purse.
LMAO!! Like how Marge Simpson stores things in her hair.
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LOL! I wish I could do that instead of carrying a purse! Love it when Marge pulls stuff out of her do!
I wanna new post. I'm bored with the clown.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:42pm.
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:39pm.
Hey, whatever happened to DreamyAguileraEyes?
^^^^^^^
I was thinking the same thing the other day.
So was I!!! Not really, I was thinking about sex.
Cupcake. :)
Submitted by unemployed_bum on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:27pm.
With hair that stiff and dried out, she could wear it up and like actually store her keys and some change up there instead of carrying a purse.
LMAO!! Like how Marge Simpson stores things in her hair.
I am CERTAIN the $7 discount bin Halloween wig I just bought looks better than this lace-front wig. What is she thinking?? Its really beyond funny at this point...
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:39pm.
Hey, whatever happened to DreamyAguileraEyes?
^^^^^^^
I was thinking the same thing the other day.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Hey, whatever happened to DreamyAguileraEyes?
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Honestly, I don't mind the weight on her at all...but wtf with those faces yo?!
♥ Threadkilla!
Lean Like a Chola, Celebrity Stylez: http://youtu.be/0ZwdYeGSVS0
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:36pm.
She looks like Zsa Zsa Gabor. Or Estelle Costanza. The bloating is making her eyeballs appear to sink further into her head with every passing minute. I only hope her embalmer can do a better job.
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When someone drinks that much alcohol, there is no need to embalm them when they die
She looks like Zsa Zsa Gabor. Or Estelle Costanza. The bloating is making her eyeballs appear to sink further into her head with every passing minute. I only hope her embalmer can do a better job.
The spirit of fuck you should never be underestimated. ~hotpocket 10/23/11
That has got to be a wig on her head! WTF is up with the blindingly white scalp?? She is a mess. SHe must be falling down drunk while her makeup artist spackles her face...there is no other excuse for the orange hairline.
Whamo,
You would have sex with any icy, blue-eyed blond. That's your look!
*haughtily shakes auburn curls and glares at the formerly known "Whamish" with dark brown eyes*
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LMAO! I know it seems like that but I really do like dark haired women as well!! You make me laugh Ms Fury :)
I like red heads, blondes brunettes, it really doesn’t matter as long as they’re pretty to me.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:31pm.
Submitted by snuffy on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:25pm.
The day I first saw Skyrim announced, I promised my bf I'd toss his salad in an airplane one day... still haven't done it, but I will!
Good for you shitbreath!
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Ahaha! ElB! A man of few words, but the few you use make me laugh like a hyena!
DWM - maybe because I can't stand looking at this clown that I just skimmed over the pics without actually "looking" at it. LOL
Submitted by snuffy on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:25pm.
The day I first saw Skyrim announced, I promised my bf I'd toss his salad in an airplane one day... still haven't done it, but I will!
Good for you shitbreath!
hahahaha
If you put the pic of her making the first face up on your screen and then use the track ball to scroll to the second, it looks like her face is moving.
Yeah, I need a hobby.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:05pm.
Oh Christ! I didn't even notice the bronzer in her hair or that powder white scalp.
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You're losing your touch girlie.. go back to bed and try again.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
@ Sans Fards
I like your avie!!! hot!
OT: hub is gonna be an hour late for lunch date. *don't wanta wait* *drums fingers*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
With hair that stiff and dried out, she could wear it up and like actually store her keys and some change up there instead of carrying a purse.
Why come it looks like she has dentures.
Yes that is proper english.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
The day I first saw Skyrim announced, I promised my bf I'd toss his salad in an airplane one day... still haven't done it, but I will!
Are any of you sluts in the Skyrim Club already?
I use the word "flawless" carelessly. I like it :-) What I mean to say is... if part of a celebrity's appeal is their looks as well as their "talent" then when they let themselves go, I have a hard time understanding WHY. None of these younger girls on the scene would be famous if it were just for their singing or acting "talent" alone. they are sold as a package, and their looks are at least 50 percent of the package. When they walk out of the house 50lbs heavier packed in spandex, have their weave all busted, burn marks on their hands from hitting the crack pipe or their make up is all up in their hair, yeah, I'm gonna play the 'you should be flawless" card. That's what they were selling in the first place, don't be 25 years old and busted looking and expect no one to comment. That's why these pics were posted in the first place.
To get up in LA before the crack of noon and have to go to a video launch what?? She certainly has lost her DIVA status. Is Edina Monsoon doing her PR now? Maybe she could do a launch with Queen Noor.
Bubble: " Queen Noor? Oh no not her again! She tries to palm her off on everybody! "
She's can't be broke, right? Just don't get the Lindsey/Brit/Xtina "dirty girl" thing. It's like they are "Generation Pig".
need a damn blow torch to melt that shit on her face
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
damn who would win in the heaviest, most unnecessary make-up contest, christina or kim k? whose pores are bigger and whose pillowcases and white shirts have the most foundation stains? the world may never know. and christina's man gives off a douche vibe, she should drop him pronto.
And this is the world in which Britney is considered the disaster!
she looks gross. i never thought he was all that pretty (with the rat face she has and all) but jesus lady, how do your gays let you leave the house like that?! leggings are not the female answer to sweatpants! you can not just be wearing them everywhere! there is no article of clothing that can work both for the super market and a red carpet event. seriously. you aren't fooling anyone. we can see you gained weight! just dress appropriately and you can hide it by flattering what you do have (bigger boobs) ugh. i just can't with this bizzaro snooki
Whamo,
You would have sex with any icy, blue-eyed blond. That's your look!
*haughtily shakes auburn curls and glares at the formerly known "Whamish" with dark brown eyes*
She does look really good though but I think women and men with interesting faces are so much more appealing. To me, all these blonde h-wood beauties are nothing without the blonde hair, veneers and fake tan. When you actually look at their faces, they are plain or even plain fug.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:09pm.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:07pm.
OINK! But of course I would.
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yes, yes... we all know that it's all about the squeal with you!LOL!
Thanks for understanding me :)
I bet her scalp is itchy.
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 12:02pm.
Kate Blanchett is beautiful in her own way but she does not fit the standard of H-wood beauty
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Cate is my one of my favorite actors and as you said she can look very plain but she can also look very hot, even when she's plain Cate though her skill as an actor make makes her sexy as hell to me.
Did I mention I'd have sex with her if she asked me?